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Obama Admin Defends Gitmo Releases [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 20 Dec 2015 | John Semmens

Posted on 12/19/2015 10:16:36 AM PST by John Semmens

Reports that nearly all of the terrorists the Obama Administration has released have rejoined the jihad against the West left the Administration unfazed. In fact, that only 191 of 196 of the individuals released have joined the ranks of ISIS, al-Qaeda, Hezbollah and the like was touted as "relatively successful."

"I've always believed that it is better to let 100 guilty men go free than to imprison one innocent man," said Defense Secretary Ashton Carter. "If we're keeping score here, we see that we only let 191 guilty men go free in order to free five innocent men. So, it looks like we are still far ahead of the game even if the next 300 we release immediately enlist to fight with the Islamic State in Syria."

In line with this thinking, Carter announced a plan to release another 17 Gitmo detainees within the next 30 days, citing "their good behavior" as a rationale. "None of these men have committed acts of terror since they've been here," Carter pointed out. "They've all put in more time as peaceable prisoners than they previously did as wanton killers. They've earned a second chance."

Senator Tom Cotton (R-Ark) vehemently disagreed with the Administration's action calling it "dangerously naive. First of all, Blackstone's original quote was that it was better to let ten guilty go free than to convict one innocent person. So, Carter's got his numbers wrong. Second, none of those in Gitmo can seriously be considered 'innocent.' All were captured while engaged in waging war against the United States. Third, the only reason why any of them have been 'peaceable' is that as prisoners they haven't had an opportunity to shoot or bomb anyone. There is no evidence they have renounced hostility toward America or 'unbelievers.'"

In related news, Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (Fla), chair of the Democratic National Committee suggested that the latest batch of Gitmo prisoners to be released be invited to attend President Obama's State-of-the-Union speech in January. "By giving these long-suffering individuals a seat of honor at one of our nation's most important political events we can help heal the wounds our persecution of them has opened," she argued.

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,188983.0.html


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: islamists; obama; satire; terror

1 posted on 12/19/2015 10:16:36 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Not bad.

I remember Obama saying he would close Guantanamo.

I guess no one figured out that meant he would have to get rid of all the prisoners first. I read that he has now limited access by the media to the prison. Must not want them to notice all the empty cells.


2 posted on 12/19/2015 10:34:54 AM PST by UCANSEE2 (Lost my tagline on Flight MH370. Sorry for the inconvenience.)
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To: UCANSEE2

It is not Obamas fault that Republicans would not allow the Gitmo detainees in stateside prisons. All they wanted to do was influence some more “brothers” to do “good works” when released.


3 posted on 12/19/2015 10:52:45 AM PST by Glad2bnuts (How many DICC's are there in the Republican party? Democrats In Conservative Clothing that is.)
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To: John Semmens
"By giving these long-suffering individuals a seat of honor at one of our nation's most important political events we can help heal the wounds our persecution of them has opened," she argued.

They would most likely volunteer to be water boarded than go to that event.


4 posted on 12/19/2015 11:33:09 AM PST by darkwing104 (Forgive but don't forget)
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