Administration Expands Student Loan Default Options [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 19 June 2016 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

The Department of Education expanded the grounds under which students may be freed from their obligation to repay college loans. Under the new rules, students may be absolved from the obligation to repay loans if the education they received was inadequate.

Secretary John King, Jr. explained that “much of what passes as education in our major universities is just crap. Universities know that majoring in ‘women’s studies,’ ‘gender studies,’ philosophy, and the like, won’t prepare graduates for high-paying jobs. Why should naive and ignorant young people have to bear the consequences that could have been avoided if they had received better advisement from the university they attended?”

The cost of the loan defaults is estimated to amount to $43 billion over the next decade. This cost will be borne by taxpayers—a shift of liability that King insists is “the fairest way to distribute the burden. Making the universities eat these losses would endanger their financial survival. By spreading the cost over the broader base of taxpayers the incremental burden on each person would be tolerably smaller. As someone once said, ‘it takes a village to raise a child.’ This is a case where the ‘village’ needs to step up and shoulder its responsibility.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://azconservative.org/2016/06/18/former-senator-questions-need-for-so-many-armed-federal-agents/