stopityerkillinme
Posted on 09/06/2021 12:03:33 PM PDT by rebuildus
I visited an old friend over the weekend. We had not talked for far too long a time. He gave me some sound advice–it was about me.
We were discussing someone who was a mutual friend, and who’d wronged me. Even though I knew it was wrong to carry resentment towards my former friend for what he had done, nevertheless, I have been unable to completely shake that resentment.
In a nutshell, my friend told me something I thought I already knew–that even if my former friend was 100% wrong–I AM WRONG FOR CONTINUING TO RESENT HIM FOR IT!
That statement took away my excuses for acting in a childish way while I walk in an adult’s body.
I felt like I had been backed into a corner, and exposed.
And funny, accepting my friend’s statement caused a freeing, and yet something else inside me was not happy about it at all. I sat with that last night until I went to bed.
There is still something inside fighting this truth, but yet in a way, it feels like the lance has already pierced the dragon.
All that’s left now is allowing the truth to settle inside.
My sin is judging.
Sure, I can look back and see where this started. My mother was a judger, and my father–though certainly not a bad man, was someone who–like many in his Great Depression / World War II generation–struggled with internal conflicts routinely drowned with unfiltered cigarettes, alcohol, bad food, and the trivial news of the day.
The judger needs the failure (real or perceived) of the “bad” actor to feed the judgment!
When I’m at the gym, I notice something inside me judging everyone I see–whether it’s the lifters who curse like sailors, or someone who acts “too strong” or “too weak.” It doesn’t matter–they can’t win. The judger needs its food!
Traumas and Judging While talking with my old friend this weekend, we began to explore how myself and others that we know have been hypnotized by hypnotic techniques presented as “meditation.” That hypnotic state leads to judgment–because in this state, we operate out of a type of automated response, instead of reason.
But my traumas–and by extension, my judgment–indeed started long ago. Hating the judger (mother), or hating the “bad actor” (father)–awakened that original trauma / hypnotic condition, which converted me into being a judger.
Trauma / judgment caused me to judge others as either worse or better than me. In those I judged to be somehow “better” than me, it caused me to become a follower, which set me up to be used by people who placed themselves (and whom I placed) in a “leader” position.
The Way Out It’s a tangled web we become part of, but the only way I have found to become freer (with the hope of complete freedom) is to be willing to acknowledge the truth when it presents itself. I still believe in meditation–but today I practice a simple form of stillness that is almost formless, and thus kept close to reality and hard to screw up! I deal with this topic in more depth in THIS POST.
My old friend helped this process along this weekend, and I am eternally grateful.
As I slowly accept responsibility for MY actions, the leader inside is emerging, and the follower fades. This is something I have always wanted, and it is heartening to see it come forward.
It starts with admitting we are wrong for judging others, even if they have done wrong to us. This is not a new concept. It is the basis of Christianity, and many others who don’t consider themselves Christians subscribe to it too.
Letting go of our pride, and asking God to help us do this, is the ticket back to LIFE. I see my life returning. I hope you maintain or regain your life too.
Patrick Rooney is the Founder of OldSchoolUs.com. He communicates clearly and fearlessly during perilous times about natural health, success, and freedom. To reach Patrick, email him at info@oldschoolus.com.
Remember, God tends to select His biggest screw ups for His most important work.
Moses murdered an Egyptian before God picked him to lead the people out of Egypt. Even then, Moses argued with God about doing it.
Look at Saul who persecuted Christians and was present at the Sanhedrin when Steven was stoned to death, and he became Paul, the greatest evangelist in Christianity.
Or Peter who cut off the slave’s ear and denied Jesus three times. God made him the father of the church...
Many christians have a favorite verse: John 3:16
16 For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
And RIGHT after that,
17 For God did not send His Son into the world to judge ...
If Jesus wasn’t here to judge, what gives us the idea that it’s okay for US to do it?
I sure hope you cleanse that soul before the Holy Spirit turns you to charcoal.
Judging will always harm you. Statements of fact that are not judgement are ok. It all depends upon where your heart is when you do it and how you do it..
I am dismayed at all of the animosity for our good friend humblegunner here. Here he plays the part of The Good Samaritan and tries to help a person out and y’all come gunning for him. Shame on you.
Several times Jesus stated, “I have not come to judge, but to save.”
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And your point is?
Good thing I’m wearing me hip-waders.
It happens every day, I'm used to it.
I take comfort in knowing that I'm saving souls and
helping the world and a couple of smack-talkers can't change that.
Mission. From. God.
I may have been wrong once about 16 years ago, but I could be mistaken about that.
I think your sin can be found in your final paragraph.
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Humblegunner, your post is so excellent I could not delete or add a single word to it. All praise to you!
“Mission. From. God.”
Joel, is that you?
stopityerkillinme
BUMP!
I am confident I can admit when I am wrong and I look forward to doing so the first time I am.
That is one of my favorite scriptures.
While Jesus does not Judge, the Refining Fire will cause a person to feel like they are in hell if they don’t cleanse their soul of sin.
It’s just reality, not judgement... kind of like holding onto a sack of gold and trying to swim. You are not judged, but if you can’t keep your head above water you drown. No judgement, you just perish.
Humblegunner,
Maybe you should be the one taking a shower and some prayer. You cannot tell anyone they are going to hell since you have no idea what is in their heart.
They said they were a believer and that is all that is needed for our understanding. Anything else is hubris on your part.
Except that a great portion of the Bible is a text book on how to judge people, situations, etc.
It comes down to a simple choice: If you choose FOR the God Who loves us because He IS Love, you get to spend eternity with the God Who loves you.
If you choose otherwise, you end up spending eternity with the guy who goes out of his way to make you feel miserable, surrounded by people who look at things the same way, set up in a place where God says He will not go.
The way to recover from the sin of judgement is to realize and accept that God Loves you unconditionally, no matter what you have done. However, your self judgement is usually far worse than the judgement of others and it blocks you from receiving God’s Love.
When a person is unable to accept God’s Love their upper back appears very tight. I feel it when I am near them. They feel underserving of Love due to their self judgement and they close the back door to their heart.
I stayed at a Benedictine monastery while I was soul searching and noticed that about a third of the approximately 50 monks had the back door to their heart closed. They felt they had to earn God’s Love and felt unworthy of it. The Abbot radiated Love so I knew he was aware. I asked him how he would guide them to accept, feel and experience God’s Love in their souls. It’s a difficult thing to teach as often it takes intense suffering, leading to despair, and then surrender before a person feels God’s Love.
I try to always remember, Judge not lest ye be judged.
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Human beings render judgments every waking moment of their lives. And judgment of oneself and others is a fundamental necessity of life. Historically millions of those who were too timid or too cowardly to judge others have ended up in the Gulags and death camps run by those who they didn’t judge. GET REAL!
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