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The Real Reason Americans Do Not Have Friends
The American Society for the Defense of Tradition, Family and Property ^ | November 23, 2021 | Gary Isbell

Posted on 12/01/2021 6:47:29 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

“Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

John 15:13

Would you lay down your life for your friends? Would they do so for you? If the answer to either of these questions is no, perhaps a better understanding of real friendship would make such meaningful relationships possible.

Sadly, many Americans have been deformed by a Hollywood idea of friendship as portrayed in movies. In addition, the Internet and social media also depict friendship as a casual acquaintance with others. The expression Facebook friend denotes a superficial friendship activated by a click.

However, real friendships are based on virtue and only acquired through hard work and sacrifice. They cannot be based solely on a chance encounter, joint activities and personal interests. Two people do not just meet and instantly become best friends for the rest of their lives. This is romantic notion of friendship. Likewise, friendship cannot be reduced to the shared interests of business relationships because they are quid pro quo. There is no disinterested charity involved.

Thus, sociologists point out that American have few friends.

The root cause of this lack of friendship in American is because most relationships are based on the benefits gained by the link. These relationships involve interest in gains not in people. This warped vision of relationships can easily lead to hostility not kindness in times of crisis. Relationships can also be the result of being in a common school or work environment. Without a higher motive, these common-place links can produce rivalries and intense competition and even hatred.

(Excerpt) Read more at tfp.org ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Miscellaneous; Religion; Society
KEYWORDS: friendship; gratification; religion; sacrifice

1 posted on 12/01/2021 6:47:29 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Friends are very hard to come by these days. Covid and politics put a damper on a lot of ours. It’s a struggle to get people to go out and do anything anymore. I thank GOD my husband and I are best buds ... but I fear for each of us if one or the other suddenly leaves this earth.


2 posted on 12/01/2021 6:56:27 PM PST by LibsRJerks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Beyond “friends,” I see many marriages based on these same superficialities.


3 posted on 12/01/2021 6:57:09 PM PST by PGR88
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Perhaps I’m the odd man out, but I don’t think so.

I have a best friend of decades. I have strong friendships with dozens of others.


4 posted on 12/01/2021 6:57:57 PM PST by jdsteel ("A Republic, Madam, if you can keep it." Sorry Ben, looks like we blew it.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Very good article.

I have a few friends. Till recently, I did not realize that was rare.

I have friends. Friends who if I call tonight, will help me. Friends who if they call I will help. Friends to share joys and sorrows with. Prayers and weeping with.

That is rare, and a gift that is rare.

But most relationships are based in “What can you do for me?”


5 posted on 12/01/2021 6:59:33 PM PST by redgolum (If this is civilization, I will be the barbarian. )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Some of us put up with a lot of personal attacks and name calling on this
site…

Not only because some of you are our FRiends…

We want to see you reach the other side of this war that some of you
don’t even know we are in, alive and free.

~Easy


6 posted on 12/01/2021 7:05:37 PM PST by EasySt (Say not this is the truth, but so it seems to me to be, as I see this thing I think I see #KAG.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Maybe it’s because the Left does everything it can to create a culture of alienation (destruction of the family, porn, etc...), while the “Right” keeps telling you that you need to be a muh rugged individualist (so that the Left can pick you off easier). The elites have that all tied in a nice little bow.

We live in a society.


7 posted on 12/01/2021 7:05:40 PM PST by cdcdawg (Let's Go, Brandon!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Get a dog.


8 posted on 12/01/2021 7:06:48 PM PST by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn...)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Much harder to have friends if one is not part of a church community.


9 posted on 12/01/2021 7:07:24 PM PST by Rennes Templar (Come back, President Trump.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
We have a LOT of friends,

Among those that understand

God's second chosen people.


Catholics sent out missionaries . . .

Americans sent out the Gospel.

10 posted on 12/01/2021 7:09:03 PM PST by knarf (?<p>Little kids grow up to be adults that get into powerful positions and act out their thoughts.<pg)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I have friends from high school 50+years ago. I have friends from former work settings going back 30 years. I have never thought of friendship as a sort of quid pro quo deal, or any the other rather weird stuff this person talks about.

I have made friends because I and they clicked and enjoyed each others’ company. No competition, no what do i get out of it. What’s so hard? There is no doubt though that making new friends diminishes as we age. I don’t see this as a problem, just a fact of life If I have three or four good friends, I don’t need any more. If someone comes along that’s great, but i don’t seek friends.

Those who have never made friends will find old age a lonely time, but that
is not addressed in this opinion piece,


11 posted on 12/01/2021 7:10:39 PM PST by hinckley buzzard ( Resist the narrative.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

12 years ago yesterday I moved 600 miles for a new job. The family followed a few months later.

While we’ve made friends in our new town, when we go back home and see a few old friends, we haven’t missed a beat.


12 posted on 12/01/2021 7:12:33 PM PST by cyclotic (I won't give up my FREEDOM for your FEAR)
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To: jdsteel

Yeah both my wife and I have friends from pre-k.


13 posted on 12/01/2021 7:14:04 PM PST by Jewbacca (The residents of Iroquois territory may not determine whether Jews may live in Jerusalem.)
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To: central_va

...man’s best friend.


14 posted on 12/01/2021 7:37:16 PM PST by Oneanddone ( )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

A friend will help you move. A real friend will help you move a body.


15 posted on 12/01/2021 7:44:25 PM PST by T.B. Yoits
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I moved around quite a bit, I hv friends all over, but we can’t get together because we are all thousands of miles apart.

I have neighbors, but everyone works.

My ol’ buddies stay in touch electronically, but that’s just mostly to share a few tall tales.


16 posted on 12/01/2021 7:48:16 PM PST by Clutch Martin (The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
"There are three faithful friends - an old wife, an old dog, and ready money."

-Benjamin Franklin

As American as you can get.

17 posted on 12/01/2021 8:01:09 PM PST by T Ruth (Mohammedanism shall be destroyed.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Outside of my family, I have zero friends. Mostly because over the course of the past 89 years, I found most ‘friendships’ to be a one way street. And of course the others died off.


18 posted on 12/01/2021 8:01:50 PM PST by Tupelo
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To: Tupelo

OPPS! That should read, “Over the course of the past 80 years.
Damned old eyes & fingers. Or should that be damned old fingers & eyes?


19 posted on 12/01/2021 8:04:34 PM PST by Tupelo
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To: Tupelo

You could be describing me.

I grew up in a HUGE family. My mother was 1 of 8 children, I was one of 7.

Of the 8 Aunts and Uncles, there were 43 first cousins. We lived fairly close, in that I walked by their house on the way to school, or they did.

Friends? I haven’t really talked to any of them in years. They faded into the past, living miles away, or they have passed. I do still have family, and my best friend is 9 months older than me. Rumor has it, he was so cute, that my Mom and Dad went home and made one cuter...ME.

My Brother is 3 years younger, he is a great friend. As are his 4 boys and 2 girls. My 6 kids are my friends now, as the youngest is 35. I have 17 grandchildren, talk about friends, these are the best.

Seriously, who needs friends or has time for real relationships with them when a persons life is this full?

Thank you Father in Heaven, you blessed me beyond my imagination.

I guess I forgot the love of my life. She is the girl my Mom warned me about, and the one my Dad used to coerce away to “shoot the sheet” with in the cigarette friendly room. She is the one who holds me together, while I keep her wheels on the ground, Mustang Sandd......its not really spelled that way, but I changed the spelling, you can guess why.


20 posted on 12/02/2021 2:00:15 PM PST by Glad2bnuts ((“If there are no absolutes by which to judge society, then society is absolute.” Francis Schaeffer,)
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