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Stores Refusing To Sell Chicken Noodle Soup After Rumor COVID Patients Are Using It To Feel Better
Babylon Bee ^ | 01/12/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/12/2022 5:20:58 PM PST by DFG

U.S.—Supermarkets nationwide are no longer selling chicken noodle soup in an attempt to combat COVID-19 self-medication with unauthorized treatments. Medical experts have grown concerned by a recent trend in the infected to self-medicate with the popular soup to feel better.

White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki confirmed a mandate to limit chicken noodle soup was recommended by the CDC. “As in the case of Ivermectin, a known horse de-wormer, many people were attempting to self-medicate with a hot bowl of soup. This is giving people a false sense of security and leading to violent overdoses in which belching and nausea occurred,” she clarified.

When pressed for more information Psaki referred reporters to the CDC, which will not answer their phone calls.

Racist Fox News reporter, Peter Doocy, then asked if clam chowder was being pushed as an alternative to chicken noodle because Dr. Fauci had investments in the clamming industry. “The American people want to know if the government is being influenced by Big Clam,” he added.

Chicken noodle soup will still be available with a doctor’s note and valid proof of insurance.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; chickensoup; covid; ivermectin; soup
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1 posted on 01/12/2022 5:20:58 PM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Every single day it’s a new “WTF?” moment with this regime.


2 posted on 01/12/2022 5:23:11 PM PST by GrandJediMasterYoda (As long as Hillary Clinton remains free, the USA will never have equal justice under the law)
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When did the Bee start doing real news?


3 posted on 01/12/2022 5:23:43 PM PST by dsrtsage ( Complexity is just simple lacking imagination)
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To: GrandJediMasterYoda

Ah ha got me, it’s Babylon Bee. Amazing how similar they are to reality.


4 posted on 01/12/2022 5:24:03 PM PST by GrandJediMasterYoda (As long as Hillary Clinton remains free, the USA will never have equal justice under the law)
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To: DFG

Like Rush used to say “Illustrating absurdity by being absurd”

Good one!


5 posted on 01/12/2022 5:26:15 PM PST by READINABLUESTATE ( ‘When tyranny becomes law, resistance becomes duty.’)
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To: DFG

Great stuff as always from da Bee.


6 posted on 01/12/2022 5:32:30 PM PST by SaxxonWoods (If It Aint Woke Don't Fix It.)
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To: DFG

OMGoodness!!

I make my own chicken bone broth! WITH healthy vegetables and LOTS of garlic & ginger! The “authorities” are going to be knocking at my door any minute!!

Well-played Bee!

(LOL)


7 posted on 01/12/2022 5:36:42 PM PST by twyn1
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To: DFG

There is a reason they call chicken noodle soup “Jewish mother’s penicillin”.


8 posted on 01/12/2022 5:38:24 PM PST by hoagy62 (DTCM&OTTH)
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To: DFG

No Soup for You!


9 posted on 01/12/2022 5:39:21 PM PST by right way right (May we remain sober over mere men, for God really is our only true hope. )
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To: DFG

LOL - NO monoclonals, NO HCQ, NO Ivermectin and….

NO chicken noodle soup. Shots and masks only for you!

(Gotta love the Bee.)


10 posted on 01/12/2022 5:42:24 PM PST by Allegra
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To: DFG

Someday we will find out all these vaccine shots are just concentrated chicken soup.


11 posted on 01/12/2022 5:50:28 PM PST by McGruff
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To: GrandJediMasterYoda
it’s Babylon Bee. Amazing how similar they are to reality.

Good satire looks real at first sight!

12 posted on 01/12/2022 5:50:35 PM PST by Right_Wing_Madman
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To: GrandJediMasterYoda

Now thats why its funny. Cuz its real. /seinfeld


13 posted on 01/12/2022 5:54:40 PM PST by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: DFG

Good one Bee!!!


14 posted on 01/12/2022 5:55:36 PM PST by Dogbert41 ("Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled" (Matthew 5:6).)
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To: DFG

That gave me a belly laugh!


15 posted on 01/12/2022 5:59:35 PM PST by Irenic ( )
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To: DFG

Wait. What???

Oh it’s The Bee


16 posted on 01/12/2022 6:13:54 PM PST by Nifster (I see puppy dogs in the clouds)
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To: DFG

I reposted this to FB just to troll the flak checkers. Nothing so far...


17 posted on 01/12/2022 6:20:03 PM PST by Hazwaste (Socialists are like slinkies. Only good for pushing down stairs.)
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To: DFG

“Jewish Penicillin”... Heh.


18 posted on 01/12/2022 6:35:57 PM PST by Carriage Hill (A society grows great when old men plant trees, in whose shade they know they will never sit.)
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To: DFG

It would be funnier if I wasn’t afraid that it would give the Biden gang new ideas to make our lives miserable! Love that Babylon Bee...


19 posted on 01/12/2022 6:50:33 PM PST by InGodsTruth
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To: DFG

FROM MY COLD DEAD LIPS


20 posted on 01/12/2022 8:13:09 PM PST by telescope115 (Proud member of the ANTIFAuci movement. )
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