Posted on 05/28/2022 1:50:47 PM PDT by MercyFlush
Just something funny for a Saturday...
Putin dies and goes to hell, but after a while, he is given a day off for good behavior.
So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender:
-Is Crimea ours?
-Yes, it is.
-And the Donbas?
-Also ours.
-And Kyiv?
-We got that too.
Satisfied, Putin drinks, and asks:
-Thanks, how much do I owe you?
-5 euros.
That is funny! 🕶👍
Your name is MUDD - hence your jokes won’t get many laughs.
If my joke made you dyspeptic then my day is now complete.
Cute, but things are unlikely to turn out that way. The Euro is basically toast at this point, while the ruble will always have value as long as Russia demands payment for its exports in it. The US dollar is only backed by our military now.
Are you buying rubbles and making out like a bandit?
I know of no easy way to access them presently, but I’d buy precious metals before investing in any currency.
When the area you control is 34 times the size of Ukraine, and 20,000,000 square km just isn’t enough, dial 800-WEF-Sociopath
I’m thinking on how that joke could be reapplied to Joe Biden.
He asks “how much do I owe you?”
The bartender replies “five yuan.”
He’s probably in St Petersburg…so, yeah.
Ha, ha. Even better.
I started a joke but have never found a finish: Mrs. Bill Clinton dies and goes to hell. The Devil tells her she's assigned to the special room down the hall. Mrs. Bill Clinton walks in, and Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler are sitting at a table ...
Ronald Reagan would collect and tell jokes that were told the people in the USSR. This sounds like it could be one of those.
So now with Zelenskyy’s finest Nazis hot footing it out of the Dunbas, it’s time for jokes? What’s next for you Clowns, a 6-week Summer stretch in the Catskills?
Russia isn’t going to stop there. Eventually they will invade Israel. Then God steps in
It’s just as funny applied to Biden/Pelosi:
Biden & Pelosi die under separate circumstances and go to hell. But after a while they’re both given a day off for good behavior.
So they go to D.C., enter a bar, order drinks, and ask the bartender:
-Is Congress ours?
-Yes, it is.
-And the Senate?
-Also ours.
-How about the Court?
-We got that too.
Satisfied, Biden & Pelosi toast, and ask:
-Thanks, how much do we owe you?
-106 yuan.
About as funny as this one:
Zelinsky dies and goes to hell, but after a while, he is given a day off for good behavior.
So he goes to Kiev, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender:
-Is Crimea ours?
-No.
-And the Donbas?
-No.
-And Kyiv?
-Nope.
Dejected, Zelinski drinks, and asks:
-How much do I owe you?
-500 Rubles.
I started a joke but have never found a finish: Mrs. Bill Clinton dies and goes to hell. The Devil tells her she’s assigned to the special room down the hall. Mrs. Bill Clinton walks in, and Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler are sitting at a table ...
————————————————————
Hillary Clinton smiles at both of them then lifts up her mumu and yells “SUPER PUSSY!”
Joseph says to Adolf “What did she say?”
Adolf said “She said SUPER PUSSY!”
Joseph “Ughh. I’d rather have the soup.”
After his death Putin’s soul was headed for Hell, but he wrestled the demons dragging him down... and won. So a couple of angels attempted to block him at the mouth of the Pit but he headbutted one and kicked the other in the goolies.
After a few more punch-ups he saunters up to the Pearly Gates.
Saint Peter looks up, then down at his book, then up. “Vladimir Putin. Go back to the Pit. You are unfit to stand here.”
Putin seems offended. “Hypocrite, do not provoke me as those other fools did.”
St Peter sighs and puts his quill down. Wearily, he explains. “You ordered genocides. You invaded countries. That means you’re not welcome at these gates. Ever. Those are the rules.”
Putin grins, “Wrong. Because by right of conquest I say you’re sitting on MY side of MY gates. My gaff, my rules.”
St Peter hasn’t heard that one before. “Your inane egomania, and your stupid rules, do not apply in Heaven.”
Putin shrugs. “Yet. But that’s okay, I’ll wait here until they do.”
“The US dollar is only backed by our military now.”
Not as long as Biden continues to harm it.
Year/ Dollar Value/ Inflation Rate
2020/ $1.00/ 1.23%
2021/ $1.05/ 4.70%
2022/ $1.12/ 6.69%*
https://www.in2013dollars.com/us/inflation/2020?amount=1&future_pct=0.02
And he can screw them up individually.
Wy69
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.