Posted on 04/27/2023 11:46:02 AM PDT by cotton1706
The historic leader in primetime cable ratings Fox News was dominated last night by an unemployed man filming a selfie video in his partially-finished basement.
"This guy chatting for a few minutes in his underwear and a blazer just completely blew Fox News out of the water," said Nielsen executive Roger Millican. "It was a ratings bloodbath."
The unemployed man reportedly posted the basement selfie video on Twitter around 7 p.m., and by 7:02 p.m. had gained more viewers than the entire Fox News primetime lineup. "We got demolished," said a Fox News producer, on condition of anonymity. "Our viewers abandoned us in droves to watch a video labeled 'Good evening', which was just this dude jawing in his basement. We're in trouble."
Panic quickly spread among the top brass at Fox News, as executive producers brainstormed how to win back viewers. "More gold coin ads? No, we already tried that. Think, Bob, think!" said Fox News VP Bob Randall. "Is it physically possible to add any more 'Breaking News' graphics? No? How about making the necklines lower on all the female anchors' dresses? This is hard!!"
At publishing time, the unemployed man had reportedly crushed Fox News primetime ratings once again, this time with a video of himself silently making a ham sandwich.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
It sure did!
Funny. Always a smile from the Bee
Loved the extra meaning of the “ham sandwich” LOL
Just wait for Tucker to invite Mike Lindell over for a basement sleepover to show off his pillow, sheets, slippers, bathrobe, bedbug spray and everything else for his bedroom comfort.
“Loved the extra meaning of the “ham sandwich” LOL”
I missed that. What’s the extra meaning?
The title is hilarious.
KaBoom
I’m sure it was a side reference to the numerous discussions regarding Trump and NY DA Bragg and how easy it is to indict a ham sandwich, something Tucker has said numerous times.
Funny
Oh. Gotcha. Thanks.
ROFL!!!
Dang it.
I just read the furthest ever in a BBee article before realizing it was satire. They got me good this time.
He just announced on TikTok that he’s going to spilled a whole bunch of information on Tucker Carlson on telegram in about an hour
-PJ
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