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330 Million Phones Go Off After Biden Hits Wrong Button Reaching For Life Alert
Babylon Bee ^ | 10/04/2023 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 10/04/2023 3:35:34 PM PDT by DFG

U.S. — An emergency alert message was errantly sent to over 330 million phones today after President Biden accidentally hit the wrong button reaching for his Life Alert.

President Biden reportedly tripped while excitedly scurrying to the dining room for his mid-morning oatmeal, and found himself unable to get up. In a vain attempt to activate Life Alert, Mr. Biden initiated the National Emergency Alert System, triggering a message to 330 million phones. Sadly, none of those included 9-1-1 operators or Life Alert itself.

Despite physical therapy and forcing him to only wear sneakers, Mr. Biden's persistent falls necessitated the addition of a Life Alert necklace. "We had to do it, but it's dicey with all the buttons he has now," said White House aide Dylan Rogers. "There's the nuke button, the Life Alert button, the diaper button. It's a scary time to be an American."

At publishing time, sources say Biden was still in the White House shouting, "Help, help! I've fallen and, you know, the thing!"


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 911; babylonbee; biden; emergencyalert; isthisthebee; lifealert

1 posted on 10/04/2023 3:35:34 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Lol!


2 posted on 10/04/2023 3:37:35 PM PDT by EvilCapitalist (81 million votes my ass.)
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To: EvilCapitalist

We can always rely upon the Bee to get us the real news, really fast


3 posted on 10/04/2023 3:41:00 PM PDT by Presbyterian Reporter
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To: EvilCapitalist

I would ignore a national emergency warning on my phone. It is much more likely to be fear mongering than an actual emergency.

If there was ever a true national emergency where all 330 millions people were affected, that is called nuclear war and 95% of us would be dead in the following 5 minutes.


4 posted on 10/04/2023 3:45:17 PM PDT by joma89 (Buy weapons and ammo, folks, and have the will to use them.)
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To: DFG

We didn’t hear a thing!


5 posted on 10/04/2023 3:46:18 PM PDT by rktman (Destroy America from within? Check! WTH? Enlisted USN 1967 to end up with this💩? 🚫💉)
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To: DFG

That’s funny.


6 posted on 10/04/2023 3:46:44 PM PDT by tennmountainman (FUJB)
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To: DFG

7 posted on 10/04/2023 4:06:08 PM PDT by Dalberg-Acton
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To: DFG

So that’s why there was an alert on my phone this afternoon.


8 posted on 10/04/2023 4:34:24 PM PDT by Verginius Rufus
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To: DFG

Actually he was trying to call Ukraine to reassure Zelensky he was still good for the money laundering.


9 posted on 10/04/2023 4:38:15 PM PDT by JoJo354 (We are the revolution....)
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To: DFG

10 posted on 10/04/2023 4:51:08 PM PDT by moovova ("The NEXT election is the most important election of our lifetimes!“ LOL...)
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To: Verginius Rufus
 
 
 
 

11 posted on 10/04/2023 5:08:16 PM PDT by lapsus calami (What's that stink? Code Pink ! ! And their buddy Murtha, too!)
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To: DFG

Yeah, I know. “Biden’s in trouble and he may be dying!” That’s why I hit the OK button.


12 posted on 10/04/2023 5:10:09 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: DFG
The illegitimate, corrupt, lawless federal government is testing the Democrats' election interference infrastructure. You'll be getting more alerts in the latter part of 2024.

There is no way to turn it off or to opt out.

BBTY -- Big Brother is Tracking You.

13 posted on 10/04/2023 5:16:48 PM PDT by T Ruth (Mohammedanism shall be destroyed.)
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To: DFG
"said White House aide Dylan Rogers. "There's the nuke button, the Life Alert button, the diaper button. It's a scary time to be an American."

Holy jump up and sit down..!

14 posted on 10/04/2023 5:21:20 PM PDT by unread (I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the REPUBLIC..!)
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To: DFG

Lol


15 posted on 10/04/2023 5:43:27 PM PDT by WKUHilltopper
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To: Verginius Rufus

My favorite part was when they tasted immediately did the encore, but in Spanish.


16 posted on 10/04/2023 5:56:52 PM PDT by Antihero101607
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To: DFG

My message said “From the WH: Help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”


17 posted on 10/04/2023 5:58:40 PM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn...)
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To: DFG

Lol love it...


18 posted on 10/04/2023 6:48:23 PM PDT by Deplorable American1776 (Guns don't kill people, LIBERALS DO!! Support the Second Amendment...)
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To: DFG

Last time that anywhere near that number were on their cell phones at the same time for an event was on tucker’s interview with trump on debate night


19 posted on 10/04/2023 9:05:45 PM PDT by thinden (buckle up ....)
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To: DFG

Good one like much


20 posted on 10/05/2023 9:00:35 AM PDT by Vaduz (....)
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