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Has Anyone Subscribed to the Online Dating Sites? Need Opinions
01.05.03 | You know me here by another name. Am embarressed

Posted on 01/05/2004 7:00:09 PM PST by Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done

I am interested in finding out Freeper experiences in on line dating sites like Match.com or eHarmony. I am considering using the service of one and would like recommendations, hints and tips.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Hobbies; Society
KEYWORDS: dating; online

1 posted on 01/05/2004 7:00:10 PM PST by Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
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To: Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
I'm happily married, but I had fun filling out the free eHarmony profile. It takes a long time, though less than an hour, and it ends with a narrative summary of who you are.

I thought it was pretty much right on, but it made me sound really boring, since I don't do most of the "fun" things single people do. If I'm ever single again, I'll have to spice up my life before I fill in the profile.
2 posted on 01/05/2004 7:18:59 PM PST by AZLiberty (Always lurk on the Right side of life -- FreeRepublic.com)
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3 posted on 01/05/2004 7:20:12 PM PST by Support Free Republic (I'd rather be sleeping. Let's get this over with so I can go back to sleep!)
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To: Support Free Republic
All true, but will I ever find a Forever Beloved?
4 posted on 01/05/2004 7:21:55 PM PST by Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
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To: AZLiberty
I filled it out too. I am a bit of a bore too. I think age, marriage and children slow one down a bit. In my youth it was fast red sportscars and handsome men. I'd settle for an engine repair on my suv and a really nice guy.
5 posted on 01/05/2004 7:24:06 PM PST by Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
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To: Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
FWIW, and I only reply because I've got a friend contemplating this, and we've discussed it, and as I always tell her, I'm the last one qualified to give good advice, but what I always say is, it's about living your life and being open to a relationship.

Doing the e-harmony profile sounds like fun though, I might try it myself.

Good luck in your quest for amour!
6 posted on 01/05/2004 8:33:12 PM PST by jocon307 ( The dems don't get it, the American people do.)
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To: Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done; msdrby
match.com worked for us. I signed up after seeing some billboards and hearing radio ads. After we met. I never heard or saw another ad.

In the filtering process, she never did come up as a match , but I came right up for her. Interesting how it worked. Providence I assume

BTW, Our first child is due in May.
7 posted on 01/05/2004 9:13:14 PM PST by Professional Engineer (Be American, Buy American)
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To: Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
My best friend just married Saturday... someone she met through an online dating service!
8 posted on 01/05/2004 9:16:00 PM PST by HairOfTheDog (A thing is about to happen which has not happened in an age...)
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To: Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done; ecurbh
I met my Forever Beloved here at Free Republic!

We even actually walked on the beach once...


9 posted on 01/05/2004 9:20:28 PM PST by HairOfTheDog (A thing is about to happen which has not happened in an age...)
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To: Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done; Rose in RoseBear
No need to be embarrassed... lots of people meet online these days. My wife and I met online, but back in the pre-Internet days. I don't have much advice to offer, because we met on a CompuServe Special Interest Group (SIG) not through any kind of "matchmaking" service. It will be 16 years in August since we met online, and we just had our 14th anniversary "offline" on Dec. 30.
10 posted on 01/05/2004 9:51:15 PM PST by Bear_in_RoseBear (... on the shores of the Sea comes the end of our fellowship in Middle-earth.)
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To: Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done; Bear_in_RoseBear
I agree with my husband ... don't be embarrassed!

I don't have an opinion one way or another on on-line dating services. Bear and I met on CI$ in the late Eighties, when a lot fewer people had computers and modems. There were local bulletin boards with dating chat rooms.

You know, there are some really nice people right here on FR ... and at least you know you share a certain set of values with 'em. If you live near a FReeper Chapter, join! Meet some folks ... you never know whose sibling/cousin/friend might be perfect for you!

11 posted on 01/05/2004 11:22:37 PM PST by Rose in RoseBear (HHD [... it's a great way to catch up on one's sleep, though ...])
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To: Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
Most Women I know who tried e-harmony do not like it. Well Maybe not the sight itself. Of course a lot of folks go on it expecting to meet Christian mates. Beware of those calling themselves Christians. Today EVERYONE is a Christian!!
12 posted on 01/06/2004 12:40:00 AM PST by chicagolady (Jesus, Be my Magnificent Obsession)
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To: Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done; Jim Robinson
P.S. Of Course eventually the truth comes out about who you are really talking to , but the dissapointment lies in wasting so much time!

Hey Maybe FReerepublic ought to start it's OWN online dating! :)

Then we would REALLY need a lot of Admin Moderators!!
13 posted on 01/06/2004 12:43:27 AM PST by chicagolady (Jesus, Be my Magnificent Obsession)
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To: Jim Robinson
Of course the next problem would be dating those calling themselves Republicans as opposed to those who are RINO!!
14 posted on 01/06/2004 12:45:41 AM PST by chicagolady (Jesus, Be my Magnificent Obsession)
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To: Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
What else are they lying about????

Online lovers both lied about their age
Ananova ^ | 12:22 Monday 5th January 2004


Posted on 01/05/2004 12:15:59 PM CST by martin_fierro


Online lovers both lied about their age

A 71-year-old man who cut 15 years off his age to try to woo girlfriends online in China is to marry a woman who's 20 years older than she claimed to be.

The 68-year-old woman claimed to be 48 when she chatted over the internet with the grandfather for three months before agreeing to meet him, according to the Information Times in southern China.

The pair were so embarrassed at having lied about their ages that they sent a son and daughter in their place to the rendezvous in Guangzhou.

But, after the children came clean, the couple met and now plan to marry during the Lunar New Year holiday in late January
15 posted on 01/06/2004 12:51:09 AM PST by chicagolady (Jesus, Be my Magnificent Obsession)
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To: HairOfTheDog; ecurbh
Awwww
16 posted on 01/06/2004 6:35:14 AM PST by Professional Engineer (Be American, Buy American)
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To: Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
Stick,

A little while back, I told you, "Pull the fork out, you're not done!"

With this said, in my humble opinion it is too early for you to start dating. You need to wait until you figure out that you don't need someone else to make your life complete. You must wait until you desire someone, not need them! Achieve you independance, then look, you will be much happier.

As far as dating services go, I know of several happy couples that meet and married after meeting on the Internet. But be careful.

17 posted on 01/06/2004 10:46:41 AM PST by BushCountry (To the last, I will grapple with Democrats. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at Liberals.)
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To: BushCountry
Points well taken see your mail.
18 posted on 01/06/2004 3:04:26 PM PST by Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
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To: Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
RE: match.com (A very reputable service)

It is rough. I've never made it past 3 dates w anyone in 2 years and I'm no slouch. Primary problems: 1--Angry sarcastic controlling women who are man haters, having never gotten over bad experiences (beware) 2--golddiggers looking only for a rich Brad Pit lookalike 3--outright liars about age and looks.4--"Professional daters" looking for nothing more than free dinners from as many guys as possible.
All of my dates now come from NORMAL people I work with and already know and other musicians.
The net seems to attract a higher percentage of the crazies and those engaging in some form of subterfuge.
My opinion is based on 2 years.
Feel free to try, but don't get your hopes up.
19 posted on 01/08/2004 4:24:40 AM PST by Indie
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To: Indie
Well I am not an angry woman. Nor am I a golddigger, nor do I lie. I am just an average woman with average baggage and positive qualities. I am not sure that it is for me but I am interested in hearing more from others.
20 posted on 01/08/2004 6:38:28 PM PST by mlmr (Watch out or the chickens willl get you.....)
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To: mlmr
A request was made for personal experiences. I merely gave mine. Good luck. I'm off the thing now.
21 posted on 01/08/2004 7:27:24 PM PST by Indie
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To: Indie
I appreciate it.
22 posted on 01/11/2004 6:35:21 PM PST by Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
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To: mlmr; Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
Sadly, I am a Brad Pitt look alike, but I'm taken (by my wife who I met on a predecessor to the Internet called BITNet)

23 posted on 01/11/2004 6:48:23 PM PST by freedumb2003 (Okay, who stole their tin foil hats? I demand they return them!)
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To: freedumb2003
sigh!
24 posted on 01/12/2004 4:26:42 PM PST by Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
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To: Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
Experiences on Match.com or Eharmony? I've been on both plus some others during the last 8 years I've been a single parent. I suspect results vary with age and religion, but here are the reflections of someone in their late forties, Christian background:

Eharmony's good points: get a free personality test, many players and scumbags won't spend the time necessary to get through it, and as a result probably slightly higher class people. Focuses more on personality likes and dislikes and less on looks.
Bad points: Generally don't see pictures until you get to "know" a person. So you spend days or weeks writing back and forth, to find out later that there is no chemistry. (I think that can be cruel to some people.) I think women like this, but men don't. Face it, men DO care about looks more than women in choosing partners, and Eharmony works against this. I'd bet there are Many more women than men on there. And the "personality" traits are too general: most of what you choose from are things that sound good all the way around. You rank what's important, but they all sound good.
You end up ranking things like this:
Loyal... I must have someone I can count on to always support me.
Modest... I must have a partner who appreciates and practices modesty.
Values Homemaking... I must have a partner who is committed to taking care of our home and family
As a result, I felt like everyone sounded good, and withno pictures, they all merged in my mind. Eharmony is too structured for me. I feel I can tell more about people by what THEY choose to write, not what they pick from a nice list. By the way, several of my women friends had some similar complaints. True, Eharmony tries to screen out creeps, but that only works with creeps that know who they are and are honest about it. Many aren't honest with themselves, so they won't get screened out.
Final complaint: higher fees than other online services out there.



I liked Match.com better, for 3 reasons: greater number of people to choose from, Pictures!, and free form essays quickly make people distinct in mind. I can tell who's spent time on it, who doesn't care about spelling, who just wants "fun", who's deep and insightful, etc.
As a Christian, I simply look for who mentions their faith right up front, and/or who will date anybody of anyfaith (not for me). Match.com is cheaper, gives a free trial, and lets you look even when you're not subscribed.


My favorite is neither of the above. I prefer Christiancafe.com, and if you are looking for a deeply religious person, that's where I'd start.

Hope this helps. Good luck!


25 posted on 01/17/2004 6:23:16 PM PST by shoe212
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To: shoe212
Thank you. I appreciate your honesty and opinion. I will try Christiancafe. I just found something called Christianmingle.com that looked interesting.
26 posted on 01/18/2004 8:39:34 PM PST by Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
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To: shoe212
I am going to join, I will use you as a referral, it will give you more time there if you wish to give me the revelent info I will need your user ID Freep mail me.
27 posted on 01/18/2004 8:52:01 PM PST by mlmr (a kiss is just a kiss....as time goes by.......)
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To: Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
I am not impressed with Eharmony. They let you try it for 7 days. And then after that there is no refund. It took me at least a day to fill out the questionnaire. I waited until the 11th day because I had not received any matches or communication. I called to cancel and they said I would not get any refund. I mentioned that how would I know if their service was any good if I did not get any matches within the 7 day trial period. They said that the refund policy cannot be changed. I feel that Eharmony is a very dishonest company. I would not recommend them to anyone.
Sincerely
Cliff
28 posted on 03/12/2004 12:09:59 PM PST by cliffbird1947
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To: cliffbird1947
Thank you. I didn't dare sign up or pay cash.
29 posted on 03/15/2004 1:12:00 PM PST by Stick a Fork in Me - I am Done
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