Senior Personal Ads.....

[Gopher Broke]

"Senior" personal ads"

Some "Senior" personal ads seen in Florida newspapers: (Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor?)

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

[jigsaw]

ROTFLMAO!!!!!! This is priceless!

[Ernest_at_the_Beach]

ROFL!!!


I got a white belt, somewhere I think!

Does bone count as white?

Speaking of the shoes!

[Grampa Dave]

Along this line of thought. My trophy wife, who has a hard time with people believing that she is in her early 60's babysat with our grandkids this past sunday while their dad and I went fishing.

Bubba Bam Bam, our close to 3 year old grandson, was amazed when she put on her reading glasses. She does the old Ronald Reagan trick of one contact lens for reading.

When she put on her reading glasses, he said, "You look just like a Grand Mother!"

To which she replied I'm a Grand Mother, yours. I'm your Daddy's mother!"

The poor child was stunned and speechless which is rare. For some reason he and his older sister have all ways called her by her first name. He probably thought that she was some younger woman living with Grampa Dave.

The next day he told his mother the story as an all most 3 year old would do. She called me and wanted to know if I had a new wife, a grand ma. I told her no, and what had happened. We are still laughing about it.

Be careful with that white bone.

[Grampa Dave]

You might want to sink your teeth into this thread and give it a good rant and a shake.

You still have teeth don't you?

[tubebender]

He probably thought that she was some younger woman living with Grampa Dave.

That's the story I heard. Are you saying it's not true...

[Grampa Dave]

I can neither confirm nor deny what you just said. It is amazing how that just rolls off my tongue even decades later.

I introduce her to people as my Trophy Bride to add a little mystery. That lasts until someone asks how long we have been married, and we tell them 41 years. Then I say, "She was a very young child bride."

[tubebender]

Why don't you and CB head up 101 and join me and my First Wife for our 47th this Sunday...

[Ernest_at_the_Beach]

We may have to ask you for a picture to back up this allegation!

I been wondering where you were.

Check out this thread for a big fish story:

Big Fish go Boom

[Grampa Dave]

Thanks for the kind offer, but my wife, aka, our social chairwoman has us scheduled up and out for the weekend.

Congratulations, maybe your wife in honor of this event will leave the stool lid up for you!