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The Best Quotes From South Park
Right Wing News ^ | John Hawkins

Posted on 03/17/2005 10:35:53 AM PST by Rise of South Park Republicans

Back in October, Stephen Stanton wrote a piece for Tech Central Station called, "South Park Republicans." That article got a lot of attention -- including some from me. I've been a "South Park Republican" for a long time and I'm big fan of the show. So in honor of South Park, I've decided to compile a list of my favorite quotes from the program. Do keep in mind that South Park is obscene, controversial, and is oftentimes deliberately offensive. It's not everybody's cup of tea and if you're easily offended, you might even want to skip these quotes. But if you're a South Park fan -- you're going to like what you see. Read and enjoy...

"There's a place called the rainforest; it truly sucks a**. Let's knock it all down and get rid of it fast. You say, "Save the rainforest," but what do you know? You've never been to the rainforest before. Getting Gay With Kids is here! To tell you things you might not like to hear. You only fight these causes 'cause caring sells. All you activists can go f*** yourselves! Someday if we work hard, boys and girls, There'll be no more rainforests left in the entire world! Getting Gay With Kids is here! To spread the word and bring you cheer. Yeah! Getting Gay With Kids is here! Let's knock down the rainforest! What do you say?! It's totally gay! It's totally gay!" -- Song from "Rainforest Schmainforest" by the children's choir called "Getting Gay With Kids"

"Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly!" -- Wendy "Intelligent and friendly on rye bread, with some mayonaise." -- Cartman

"The President responded to the situation by saying "Screw those commie b@stards and screw their wussy space station." -- Newscaster


TOPICS: Humor; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: quotes; southpark; southparkrepublicans
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1 posted on 03/17/2005 10:35:53 AM PST by Rise of South Park Republicans
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans

Chef-"Now I know how white women feel"


2 posted on 03/17/2005 10:37:40 AM PST by MattinNJ (Stop voter fraud-enact voter ID cards with photos w/ magnetic stripes that prevent multiple voting)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans

The only episode I ever saw was "Big Gay Bob's, Big gay Animal World" and I am still traumatized.


3 posted on 03/17/2005 10:37:48 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Never play leapfrog with a unicorn!)
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To: Miss Behave

Ping!


4 posted on 03/17/2005 10:38:33 AM PST by Fierce Allegiance (“Every time a system is made foolproof - a new class of fool emerges.”)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans

Best quote ever, from Cartman: "Democrats p*ss me off!"


5 posted on 03/17/2005 10:40:17 AM PST by HHFi
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

That would be Big Gay Al
...and I'm super thanks for asking...


6 posted on 03/17/2005 10:41:05 AM PST by matymac (The NEA = Neo Elitist A*sholes)
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To: E Rocc; EveningStar

Ping


7 posted on 03/17/2005 10:41:35 AM PST by MattinNJ (Stop voter fraud-enact voter ID cards with photos w/ magnetic stripes that prevent multiple voting)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans

From last night's episode: "They're not people, they're hippies!"


8 posted on 03/17/2005 10:41:45 AM PST by Modernman ("They're not people, they're hippies!"- Cartman)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans
It should be noted that Matt Stone and Trey Parker politically identify themselves as libertarians, with hostility towards liberalism, but not exactly a keen support of republicans.

Both of them voted for Bush in 2000, and 2004 (admittedly begrudgingly).

9 posted on 03/17/2005 10:42:09 AM PST by Sonny M ("oderint dum metuant")
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To: EveningStar

ping-a-ling


10 posted on 03/17/2005 10:42:38 AM PST by BJClinton (“Give me your DUmmies, your Idiots, your Leftist Wackos yearning to be sanity free.” ~PJ-Comix)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans
"Democrats piss me off!" - Eric Cartman

http://favewavs.com/wavs/cartoons/spdemocrats.wav

11 posted on 03/17/2005 10:42:58 AM PST by KarlInOhio (Blackwell for Governor 2006: hated by the 'Rats, feared by the RINOs.)
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To: Modernman

That was a great episode. Loved the hippie drill! ROFL!


12 posted on 03/17/2005 10:43:49 AM PST by adaven
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To: thchronic

"Yup, there's your problem. You've got hippies. We call these the giggling stoners."


13 posted on 03/17/2005 10:45:13 AM PST by Modernman ("They're not people, they're hippies!"- Cartman)
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To: thchronic; Modernman
Cartman: "Ma'am, I need to clear out your giggling stoners and your drum-circle hippies right now, or soon they're going to attract something much worse"
Old Lady: "What's that?"
Cartman: "The college know-it-all hippies"

In the next scene, you see a car pull up into the town of South Park with a University of Colorado, Boulder sticker on it, and the "college know-it-all" hippies use the term "little Eichmann's" several times in the episode. It was so funny!

14 posted on 03/17/2005 10:45:49 AM PST by Pyro7480 ("All my own perception of beauty both in majesty and simplicity is founded upon Our Lady." - Tolkien)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans
My favorite south park exchange:

Uncle Jimbo: Boys, lookee there. That there's a rocky moutain black bear, one of the few remaining of its kind. Isn't it beautiful. By God, it coming right for us! (Shoots the Black Bear)
Stan: Hey, it wasn't coming right for us. It was just sitting there.
Uncle Jimbo: Shhh, not so loud. Now that there's just a technicality.
Kyle: What do you mean?
Uncle Jimbo: You see boys, the democrats have passed a lot of laws trying to stop us from hunting.
Cartman: Democrats piss me off!

15 posted on 03/17/2005 10:46:39 AM PST by proust (Dan Rather: "I am not a hoax.")
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans
Man, this thread is going to the SBR faster than you can say:

"Why is it that everything today has involved things either going in or coming out of my ass?"
16 posted on 03/17/2005 10:47:07 AM PST by BJClinton (“Give me your DUmmies, your Idiots, your Leftist Wackos yearning to be sanity free.” ~PJ-Comix)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans
There's another name for South Park Republicans: liberals.

That they think they are Republicans or conservative is great. Keep on thinking and voting that way.

Their support is much appreciated.

17 posted on 03/17/2005 10:48:08 AM PST by tallhappy (Juntos Podemos!)
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To: BJClinton

"No kitty, this is my pot pie. No kitty, you bad kitty. No kitty, it's my pot pie. Mom, kitty is being a dildo"

"Well then, I know a certain kitty, kitty who's sleeping with mommy tonight."


18 posted on 03/17/2005 10:49:59 AM PST by BJClinton (“Give me your DUmmies, your Idiots, your Leftist Wackos yearning to be sanity free.” ~PJ-Comix)
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To: Pyro7480

I love it when Stan, Kyle and Kenny realized that the whole hippie music festival is nothing more than a bunch of dumbasses getting stoned and listening to bad music.


19 posted on 03/17/2005 10:50:34 AM PST by Modernman ("They're not people, they're hippies!"- Cartman)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans

Cartman has so many great ones, but these are a few of my favorites.

You must repect my authoritah!

Hippies. They say they want to change the world, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.

(To fat camp leader) Well, I'm pretty pissed off right now, how are you?

(While playing goalie) I'm not fat! I've got a sweet hockey body!


20 posted on 03/17/2005 10:51:27 AM PST by retrokitten (I heart Tony Snow)
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To: Sonny M
The fact that in the 9 seasons they have never once drove on any GOP activist or cause compared to their ripping of liberals

And as you have stated they twice voted for Bush

I don't exactly see a problem with that

21 posted on 03/17/2005 10:51:55 AM PST by Rise of South Park Republicans (The Founding Fathers wanted disagreements as long as we all agree America kicks as* - Eric Cartman)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans

"Puh-chom. Puh-chuey-chuey-chom!" -- Kevin's freakishly-malformed clone.


22 posted on 03/17/2005 10:52:17 AM PST by Petronski (If 'Judge' Greer can kill Terri, who will be next?)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans
Cartman talking in his sleep while having a nightmare: "No.....No...Uncle Jesse..."

Or another instance of Cartman talking in his sleep while having a nightmare: "Hippies....Hiiiiiipies....Hippies everywhere....they say they wanna save the Earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad."

23 posted on 03/17/2005 10:53:18 AM PST by oldvike
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To: KarlInOhio

"Liberal Hippie Douche"- Mr. Garrison


24 posted on 03/17/2005 10:53:49 AM PST by southparkNationalist
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To: tallhappy
SPRs are conservatives that haven't had to settle-down and raise a family, lighten up.

There's another name for self-righteous curmudgeons...but the original will do.
25 posted on 03/17/2005 10:53:54 AM PST by BJClinton (“Give me your DUmmies, your Idiots, your Leftist Wackos yearning to be sanity free.” ~PJ-Comix)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans

Kyle: Weak dude, she only likes other lesbians.

Stan: Hey man, if she only likes other lesbians, then all we gotta do is become lesbians too.

Kyle: Hey, yeh.

Cartman: You guys, you know what? My grandma was Dutch-Irish, and my grandpa was lesbian, that makes me quarter-lesbian.

Stan: You're just saying that Cartman.

Kyle: Yeah, you're not a lesbian fatass.

Cartman: I am too.


26 posted on 03/17/2005 10:54:48 AM PST by dfwgator (It's sad that the news media treats Michael Jackson better than our military.)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans

Bump for later...


27 posted on 03/17/2005 10:54:48 AM PST by Egon (Mercifully unscathed by the ravages of intelligence.)
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To: tallhappy
*eye roll*

Most South Park Republicans are for low taxes and small government. Not big, wet, sloppy, social engineering happy government that some conservatives seem to get stiff over.

28 posted on 03/17/2005 10:55:44 AM PST by Bella_Bru (You're about as funny as a case sensitive search engine.)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans
never once drove on any GOP activist or cause

They thrash bible-thumpers from time to time.
29 posted on 03/17/2005 10:55:58 AM PST by BJClinton (“Give me your DUmmies, your Idiots, your Leftist Wackos yearning to be sanity free.” ~PJ-Comix)
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To: tallhappy
There's another name for South Park Republicans: liberals

There's a name for those who call South Park Republicans liberal

The Old Cracker / Dead Battery Society a.k.a the Jerry Falwell right

30 posted on 03/17/2005 10:56:27 AM PST by Rise of South Park Republicans (The Founding Fathers wanted disagreements as long as we all agree America kicks as* - Eric Cartman)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans

I think they have to go along and say "we don't like Republicans too" in order to get any play in Hollywood.


31 posted on 03/17/2005 10:56:30 AM PST by dfwgator (It's sad that the news media treats Michael Jackson better than our military.)
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To: Petronski

Not Kevin, Kyle. Sheesh.


32 posted on 03/17/2005 10:57:07 AM PST by Petronski (If 'Judge' Greer can kill Terri, who will be next?)
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To: Pyro7480
"Can I take a look in your attic?"

"Oh yeah, take a look at this ma'am. See that? Hippies... These are what we call the giggling stoners, pretty common form of hippies, usually found in attics. Problem is, if you see one hippy, theres probably a whole lot more you don't see. Where's the back yard?"

"Yeah, that's what I thought. You see that? You got a drum-circle in your backyard."

more comments from the 15 March 2005 episode "DIE HIPPIE DIE!"

33 posted on 03/17/2005 10:58:06 AM PST by CounterCounterCulture (Respect mah authoratahhhhhhhhhhh!)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans

In Micheal Buffer voice:
"And in this corner - Wearing the white trunks, with white trim
Weighing in at 98 lbs......
Ellllllll Savvvviorrrrrrrr - Jesus Chrrissstoooooooo"

And in the red corner - Wearing the red trunks, with black trim.
Weighing in at 457 lbs.......
Elllllll Diablo - The Devil Saaaaaattttttaaaaannnnnn."


"That's right mortal scum. I bet on Jesus and threw the fight" --- Satan

"That's evil" - man in crowd


34 posted on 03/17/2005 10:58:47 AM PST by Illuminatas (When I go to Boulder, I like to smoke.)
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To: BJClinton

Wouldn't consider myself a SPR....but I am a strong conservative and happen to enjoy SP very much (as well as the Daily Show.) I am in no way shape or form a liberal. I am 31 and just recently got married to an unsure Democrat who I am slowly but surely bringing over to "our side" with each day that passes. That and the fact that I am asking her to actually take notice of the politics going and and what is actually being done by W. She is a seriously mis-guided conservative who was raised liberal and doesn't know any better. I am trying to change that....keep me in your prayers and thoughts! lol Sorry...got a bit of subject there. "Screw you guys, I'm going home!"


35 posted on 03/17/2005 10:59:26 AM PST by mozrock (I have nothing clever to state)
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To: tallhappy

Sorry we didn't stay obediently in the box you'd like us to fit in.

Boxes p*ss me off! ;~D


36 posted on 03/17/2005 11:00:35 AM PST by HairOfTheDog (Just when I think you can't get any shallower, you manage to drain a little more out of the pool...)
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To: Illuminatas

A bit off topic, but the best Homer J Simpson quote,
after Sideshow Bob threatened to make TV illegal:

"Go back to Massachusetts, pinko!!"

Listen to it here:
http://members.tripod.com/~JB5252/simpsons/pinko.wav


37 posted on 03/17/2005 11:00:42 AM PST by tescoveee
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans
Episode 607: The Simpson's Have Already Done It (the Sea People episode)

Cartman: "Yeah and I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley. Yeah and the sweet thing is, the stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it, he just made me close my eyes and suck it out of a hose."

38 posted on 03/17/2005 11:01:10 AM PST by Bella_Bru (You're about as funny as a case sensitive search engine.)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans

SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOIN' HOME!!!


39 posted on 03/17/2005 11:01:58 AM PST by Clemenza (Alcohol Tobacco & Firearms: The Other Holy Trinity)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans

Just an aside:

I have many faults but being a close-minded, bible-beating, fundamentalist is not among them.

or as Moe the bartender would say :"I was born a snake-handler, I'll die a snake-handler" (btw he was covered with bites when he said this.)


40 posted on 03/17/2005 11:04:13 AM PST by Illuminatas (When I go to Boulder, I like to smoke.)
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To: tallhappy
There's another name for South Park Republicans: liberals.

What rock you be smokin'? This nanny-state hating, gun-toting, hippy mockin' South Park Republican wholeheartedly disagrees. Not all Republicans are good churchgoers like yourself.

41 posted on 03/17/2005 11:04:23 AM PST by Clemenza (Alcohol Tobacco & Firearms: The Other Holy Trinity)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans; .cnI redruM; c21sac; 68 grunt; A. Patriot; ABG(anybody but Gore); ..
SOUTH PARK PING!

For those who don't know how you got on this ping list: the initial ping list was created by copying member names from past South Park threads.

Please ping me with any South Park related articles. Thank you!

If you want on or off this ping list, please FReepmail me.

This is expected to be a low to medium volume ping list.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

42 posted on 03/17/2005 11:06:32 AM PST by EveningStar
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
The only episode I ever saw was "Big Gay Bob's, Big gay Animal World" and I am still traumatized.

I would recommend you go out and rent "South Park, the Movie" before it wears off.

43 posted on 03/17/2005 11:07:26 AM PST by Yo-Yo
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To: Publius

Ping!


44 posted on 03/17/2005 11:07:33 AM PST by Clemenza (Alcohol Tobacco & Firearms: The Other Holy Trinity)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans
The fact that in the 9 seasons they have never once drove on any GOP activist or cause compared to their ripping of liberals.

They have.

They did an episode (weird one too) about the catholic church and child molestation. They've hit on a wide variety of targets, but they do prefer hitting on liberals more.

In interviews (well recent ones regarding Team America) they like to take shots at both sides, and be fair doing so.

I have no problem with equal oppurtunity humor.

I'm glad they voted for Bush both times, I would really like to know though, is how they also vote up and down the ticket. I can't quote them on this website with what they said about voting for Bush, but on the upside, is was less bad then Kerry.

45 posted on 03/17/2005 11:11:24 AM PST by Sonny M ("oderint dum metuant")
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans

46 posted on 03/17/2005 11:11:54 AM PST by SilentServiceCPOWife ("It's a good life...if you don't weaken." - - my grandmother)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans

Hey there Mr. Muslim, Merry F#$%@n' Christmas! . . .

In case you hadn't noticed, it's Jesus's birthday.
So get up off your heathen as# and f$*&#n' celebrate!


47 posted on 03/17/2005 11:12:00 AM PST by republicofdavis
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To: tallhappy

Hey I don't think I'm Republican. I know full well I'm not a Republican. I'm too conservative to be Republican. And South Park has to be one of the funniest shows on television right now


48 posted on 03/17/2005 11:12:09 AM PST by billbears (Deo Vindice)
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To: Rise of South Park Republicans

Hi dee ho!

Kids, Mr. Liberal Douche Bag is here to explain why we have become bilingual, m'kay.

That's not true madam, the Canadian government has apologize on many occasions for Bryan Adams.


49 posted on 03/17/2005 11:12:10 AM PST by sully777 (It's like my momma always said, "Two wrongs don't make a right but two Wrights make an airplane.")
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To: Clemenza
Not all Republicans are good churchgoers like yourself.

And even some of us Church going one like SP a lot, too. I just love to stick-up-the-butt judgemental types, don't you?

50 posted on 03/17/2005 11:13:10 AM PST by cspackler (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.)
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