Skip to comments.The Best Quotes From South Park
Posted on 03/17/2005 10:35:53 AM PST by Rise of South Park Republicans
Back in October, Stephen Stanton wrote a piece for Tech Central Station called, "South Park Republicans." That article got a lot of attention -- including some from me. I've been a "South Park Republican" for a long time and I'm big fan of the show. So in honor of South Park, I've decided to compile a list of my favorite quotes from the program. Do keep in mind that South Park is obscene, controversial, and is oftentimes deliberately offensive. It's not everybody's cup of tea and if you're easily offended, you might even want to skip these quotes. But if you're a South Park fan -- you're going to like what you see. Read and enjoy...
"There's a place called the rainforest; it truly sucks a**. Let's knock it all down and get rid of it fast. You say, "Save the rainforest," but what do you know? You've never been to the rainforest before. Getting Gay With Kids is here! To tell you things you might not like to hear. You only fight these causes 'cause caring sells. All you activists can go f*** yourselves! Someday if we work hard, boys and girls, There'll be no more rainforests left in the entire world! Getting Gay With Kids is here! To spread the word and bring you cheer. Yeah! Getting Gay With Kids is here! Let's knock down the rainforest! What do you say?! It's totally gay! It's totally gay!" -- Song from "Rainforest Schmainforest" by the children's choir called "Getting Gay With Kids"
"Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly!" -- Wendy "Intelligent and friendly on rye bread, with some mayonaise." -- Cartman
"The President responded to the situation by saying "Screw those commie b@stards and screw their wussy space station." -- Newscaster
Chef-"Now I know how white women feel"
The only episode I ever saw was "Big Gay Bob's, Big gay Animal World" and I am still traumatized.
Best quote ever, from Cartman: "Democrats p*ss me off!"
That would be Big Gay Al
...and I'm super thanks for asking...
From last night's episode: "They're not people, they're hippies!"
Both of them voted for Bush in 2000, and 2004 (admittedly begrudgingly).
That was a great episode. Loved the hippie drill! ROFL!
"Yup, there's your problem. You've got hippies. We call these the giggling stoners."
In the next scene, you see a car pull up into the town of South Park with a University of Colorado, Boulder sticker on it, and the "college know-it-all" hippies use the term "little Eichmann's" several times in the episode. It was so funny!
Uncle Jimbo: Boys, lookee there. That there's a rocky moutain black bear, one of the few remaining of its kind. Isn't it beautiful. By God, it coming right for us! (Shoots the Black Bear)
Stan: Hey, it wasn't coming right for us. It was just sitting there.
Uncle Jimbo: Shhh, not so loud. Now that there's just a technicality.
Kyle: What do you mean?
Uncle Jimbo: You see boys, the democrats have passed a lot of laws trying to stop us from hunting.
Cartman: Democrats piss me off!
That they think they are Republicans or conservative is great. Keep on thinking and voting that way.
Their support is much appreciated.
"No kitty, this is my pot pie. No kitty, you bad kitty. No kitty, it's my pot pie. Mom, kitty is being a dildo"
"Well then, I know a certain kitty, kitty who's sleeping with mommy tonight."
I love it when Stan, Kyle and Kenny realized that the whole hippie music festival is nothing more than a bunch of dumbasses getting stoned and listening to bad music.
Cartman has so many great ones, but these are a few of my favorites.
You must repect my authoritah!
Hippies. They say they want to change the world, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.
(To fat camp leader) Well, I'm pretty pissed off right now, how are you?
(While playing goalie) I'm not fat! I've got a sweet hockey body!
And as you have stated they twice voted for Bush
I don't exactly see a problem with that
"Puh-chom. Puh-chuey-chuey-chom!" -- Kevin's freakishly-malformed clone.
Or another instance of Cartman talking in his sleep while having a nightmare: "Hippies....Hiiiiiipies....Hippies everywhere....they say they wanna save the Earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad."
"Liberal Hippie Douche"- Mr. Garrison
Kyle: Weak dude, she only likes other lesbians.
Stan: Hey man, if she only likes other lesbians, then all we gotta do is become lesbians too.
Kyle: Hey, yeh.
Cartman: You guys, you know what? My grandma was Dutch-Irish, and my grandpa was lesbian, that makes me quarter-lesbian.
Stan: You're just saying that Cartman.
Kyle: Yeah, you're not a lesbian fatass.
Cartman: I am too.
Bump for later...
Most South Park Republicans are for low taxes and small government. Not big, wet, sloppy, social engineering happy government that some conservatives seem to get stiff over.
There's a name for those who call South Park Republicans liberal
The Old Cracker / Dead Battery Society a.k.a the Jerry Falwell right
I think they have to go along and say "we don't like Republicans too" in order to get any play in Hollywood.
Not Kevin, Kyle. Sheesh.
"Oh yeah, take a look at this ma'am. See that? Hippies... These are what we call the giggling stoners, pretty common form of hippies, usually found in attics. Problem is, if you see one hippy, theres probably a whole lot more you don't see. Where's the back yard?"
"Yeah, that's what I thought. You see that? You got a drum-circle in your backyard."
In Micheal Buffer voice:
"And in this corner - Wearing the white trunks, with white trim
Weighing in at 98 lbs......
Ellllllll Savvvviorrrrrrrr - Jesus Chrrissstoooooooo"
And in the red corner - Wearing the red trunks, with black trim.
Weighing in at 457 lbs.......
Elllllll Diablo - The Devil Saaaaaattttttaaaaannnnnn."
"That's right mortal scum. I bet on Jesus and threw the fight" --- Satan
"That's evil" - man in crowd
Wouldn't consider myself a SPR....but I am a strong conservative and happen to enjoy SP very much (as well as the Daily Show.) I am in no way shape or form a liberal. I am 31 and just recently got married to an unsure Democrat who I am slowly but surely bringing over to "our side" with each day that passes. That and the fact that I am asking her to actually take notice of the politics going and and what is actually being done by W. She is a seriously mis-guided conservative who was raised liberal and doesn't know any better. I am trying to change that....keep me in your prayers and thoughts! lol Sorry...got a bit of subject there. "Screw you guys, I'm going home!"
Sorry we didn't stay obediently in the box you'd like us to fit in.
Boxes p*ss me off! ;~D
A bit off topic, but the best Homer J Simpson quote,
after Sideshow Bob threatened to make TV illegal:
"Go back to Massachusetts, pinko!!"
Listen to it here:
Cartman: "Yeah and I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley. Yeah and the sweet thing is, the stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it, he just made me close my eyes and suck it out of a hose."
SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOIN' HOME!!!
Just an aside:
I have many faults but being a close-minded, bible-beating, fundamentalist is not among them.
or as Moe the bartender would say :"I was born a snake-handler, I'll die a snake-handler" (btw he was covered with bites when he said this.)
What rock you be smokin'? This nanny-state hating, gun-toting, hippy mockin' South Park Republican wholeheartedly disagrees. Not all Republicans are good churchgoers like yourself.
I would recommend you go out and rent "South Park, the Movie" before it wears off.
They did an episode (weird one too) about the catholic church and child molestation. They've hit on a wide variety of targets, but they do prefer hitting on liberals more.
In interviews (well recent ones regarding Team America) they like to take shots at both sides, and be fair doing so.
I have no problem with equal oppurtunity humor.
I'm glad they voted for Bush both times, I would really like to know though, is how they also vote up and down the ticket. I can't quote them on this website with what they said about voting for Bush, but on the upside, is was less bad then Kerry.
Hey there Mr. Muslim, Merry F#$%@n' Christmas! . . .
In case you hadn't noticed, it's Jesus's birthday.
So get up off your heathen as# and f$*&#n' celebrate!
Hey I don't think I'm Republican. I know full well I'm not a Republican. I'm too conservative to be Republican. And South Park has to be one of the funniest shows on television right now
Hi dee ho!
Kids, Mr. Liberal Douche Bag is here to explain why we have become bilingual, m'kay.
That's not true madam, the Canadian government has apologize on many occasions for Bryan Adams.
And even some of us Church going one like SP a lot, too. I just love to stick-up-the-butt judgemental types, don't you?