Skip to comments.Union Jokes
Posted on 06/28/2005 2:43:17 PM PDT by CollegeRepublicanNU
UAW stands for "U AIN'T WORKING!!!!!!!!"
Did you know that Union people built the pyramids? It was originally designed as a cube. Each shift did a little less till the last said 'throw a rock on top and lets go home'.
Jesus and a Union Guy
Two managers and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly, "Jesus, I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam war...could you help me?" "Of course, my son", Jesus said, and when he touched the man's back, he felt relief for the first time in years. The second man, who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving, asked if Jesus could do anything about his eyesight. Jesus smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them in the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly. When Jesus turned to heal the union worker, the guy put his hands up and cried defensively, "Don't touch me! I'm on long term disability."
Here's one of my own:
?:What do you call the unemployment line in Detroit? Answer: A picket line.
I like that one... LOL
Something else I find funny: The maids at the hotel I work at are members of the US Steel Union.
Can somebody explain that one?
A local "nail salon" has manicurists(??) represented by the garment workers union...
A dedicated union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas
and, as you would expect, decided to check out the local brothels.
When he got to the first one, he asked the Madame, "Is this a union
"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."
"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The house gets $80, and the girls get $20." Mightily offended at
such unfair dealings, the man stomped off in search of a more
equitable, hopefully unionized shop.
His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the
Madame responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house."
The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
The Madame replied' " the girls get $80, and the house gets $20."
"That's more like it!" the union man said. He looked around the room
and pointed to a stunning attractive blonde. "I'd like her for the
"I'm sure you would sir," said the Madame, then, gesturing to an
obese seventy-five year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has
....Can somebody explain that one?.....
Of Course.... having destroyed the steel industry there were no more steel workers so the bosses dredged up any ignoratti they could con into paying dues.
That is one of my all time favorites !!!! ROFLMAO !!
It looks like the American Federation of Leaches and the Criminals, Ingrates and Oddballs are about to get divorced.
Unless Hillary pulls off the ultimate miracle to keep them together.
UAW = United Against Work
"We're a post-hole crew," says the first.
"But what about the posts?"
The other union guy answers, "we're a three man crew -- Bob digs the holes, I fill them, and Charlie puts the posts in, but he's out sick today."
I'm part of the CWA, (Communications Workers of America). Arond the office it's known as, Can't Win Anything, Cheapest Workers Around, or Communist Workers of America...
Archie Bunker once mistakenly referred to the AFL-CIO as the UFO-CIA.
I remember an article in Mad magazine many years ago--kind of updating fairy tales for the modern world. They had the Three Little Pigs forming a union and protesting how the Big Bad
Wolf (their employer) treated them--so they went on strike and the company went out of business and they wound up unemployed. "And the moral of the story is,
'In unions dere is strength'!"
Yes, The Paper, Allied-Industrial, Chemical and Energy Workers (PACE)(which include service workers) and the United Steel Workers of America (USWA), recently merged. The new union of unions is known as the United Steel Workers (USW). I believed they dropped the "of America" part because the PACE union represented workers in Canada.
I'm trying to come up with more funny sayings for the union acroynms... USW... hmmm...
Great, just be kind. Some people on the forum fail to realize that there are conservative union members out there. ;)
Oh I have to be careful. While everyone in my family is conservative we had have family members who are teachers here in Michigan and have to be members of the MEA. They have no choice though nor do many other people.
God Bless America and watch over England.
Years ago I was in management at a Bell company. I was secretly sorry that the CWA was composed of such wimps. Every time the CWA gave in on medical benefits we all suffered.