Your Blonde Moments

SkyNews (U.K.) ^ | 2/9/06 | Staff

[Millee]

It's been a week for utter stupidity.

First, Nick Flynn tripped over his shoelaces and smashed three very expensive Qing vases at a museum in Cambridge.

Last night the Everton goalkeeper Richard Wright was injured after tripping over a sign telling players not to practice in the Stamford Bridge goalmouth at Chelsea.

He did not make the FA Cup fourth round replay and Everton were hammered 4-1.

And finally, a Land Rover driver admitted to a "blonde moment" after driving her car into a lake.

"One minute I was parking the car, the next I was in the water. I just had a blonde moment," she said.

So what's your worst "blonde moment"? What's the most stupid, embarrassing or humiliating thing you have ever done?

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Please include your name and where you are writing from. But if you don't, we won't blame you!

Here are some of your memorable moments:

I was driving to a friend's house one day wondering why my feet felt so uncomfortable. When I got out of the car I noticed I had the shoes on the wrong feet. Ruth, London

Whilst watching Palestinian police firing rubber bullets at protesters on 'News night' my girlfriend (Brunette) asked me if "rubber bullets hurt more than real ones". I kid you not. Jay Baxter

Hmmm Rather embarrassing!! Was in a club talking to club Dj Tall Paul and ask..Why do they call you Tall Paul?? (he's over 6ft 5in) Tee hee Andrea Cox

I cant believe Im telling some1 this..... but I was looking on the internet to purchase a used car. The usual facts were stated, green, red, 40k, 80k, 165k, alloys, mettalic paint, etc. I couldnt believe my surprise when some1 actually stated that they were... as the previous owner... a black lady. I thought that extremelly irrellevant. I photocopied it, brought it home to the 5 members of my family and told them to listen to this for nonsense.... "opel tigra 60k alloys black lady owner electric sunroof" Get it now.... they all just BURST out laughin. Morto. Olivia the blonde (yes uve guessed it), Limerick, Ireland

A couple of weeks ago I was at my parents' house, where my mother was telling my girlfriend about one of her elderly neighbours who had a glass eye. Later in the car going home she asked me if glass eyes were really made of glass. I told her that one day they probably were, but now a days you could probably get them made of anything. I could see her mulling this over. She then turned to me and said "?.and can you see through these glass eyes?" The `are you serious` look on my face answered the question for her, to which she immediately said she was only joking??but she wasn't. Michael Newton Swinton, Manchester

My blond friend Michelle once asked an American friend "Is America the Norwich side or the Wales side of England!!" Enough said. Emma, Yorkshire Advertisement Advertisement

On a family day out, we were following some friends out toward Nottingham, my wife was on her mobile to the Female passenger of the other car when the signal faded. She said "Get closer to them". I nearly crashed the car laughing. Tony Hinks, Lincoln

I was chatting to a friend of mine while walking down Gower Street in London, after a night out. I wasn't looking where I was going. I turned to face the front and, as soon as I had, walked straight into a parking meter and knocked out my front tooth. Lindsay Wright

Just last week I left my laptop outside my house. I set the laptop bag down on the pavement so that I could reverse my car out of the driveway (it's very tight and one has to "climb" in). I then just drove off! Later that day I got a note through the door from someone saying they'd picked it up. I got it back that day, proving there still nice people in this world. Paul

I went for a meal with my boyfriend and his brother. My boyfriend and his brother ordered a large steak each, I had the chicken. When the food came the steaks were huge but both being men with big appetites they managed to polish them off to my amazement. When the bill came it was passed to me for a joke (my boyfriend's brother was paying). I looked at the bill and said "oh look, it says "well done" for eating your all your steak". He said, "no Rachel, that's how I asked for it cooking". I wanted the ground to swallow me up! Rachel, Leeds

I once picked up my sister from the train station. She got out of the train station opened the back passenger door and slammed it shut. So I sped off, thinking I looked really cool in my new car. I asked her how her day was and whether it was good and finally what was wrong as she wasn't replying. It wasn't until I turned around to look in the back that I discovered she wasn't there at all! She had put her bags in the back and was coming round to sit in the front when I chose that moment to drive off kamikaze style. Needless to say I was mortified as there was also a long queue of black cabs running along the platform and they must have seen it all... I waited for her at the end of the road. Ghazala, London

My highly intelligent, politics grad girlfriend who happens to be blonde, came out with a classic a couple of months ago. Whilst being teased for various prior blonde moments she uttered the classic, "It's not my fault, I'm just not the sharpest spoon in the drawer......". Evidently this is true. This also follows her recently telling me to "Bite the bull by the horns" Marvellous. All this, and more, while being far more intelligent than almost everybody else I know, myself included. I guess that's what having blonde hair does to you every now and then. Lee

Should we be calling these "blonde" moments? Frequently associating negative experiences, even if humorous, with a biological characteristic is reinforcing a stereotype and can be traumatic. Describing them as "lapses in concentration" or "Doh" moments (Homer Simpson) may be better. Just a thought. Hans, London

[A knight without armor]

This may be a U.K. cultural thing but I think some of these blonde moments aren't so blonde.

Do rubber bullets hurt more than real ones? I would say no because they don't kill you or go inside you but compared to a non-lethal hit, I wonder. I've never been shot but I'd think a close up rubber bullet would hurt a great deal and leave a serious bruise. Once I asked a man who had been shot several times with real bullets and he said it feels extremely hot at first.

The glass eye is a quirky question but I wouldn't say a dumb one. I think it is an innocent question from someone who doesn't know.

And about the story about the used car ad. The teller writes, "...I couldnt believe my surprise when some1 actually stated that they were..." Hey, I say anyone who writes "some1" has no room at all for making fun of blondes. That is moronic.

[MoochPooch]

I voted for Clinton the first time. (dropping my head in shame.

I voted for him twice.

This isn't just blonde. It's suicide blonde (dyed by her own hand).

[TheMom]

The hair looks about the same.

[blackie]

You are my kinda blonde!!!

[Dashing Dasher]

Twice? TWICE?

Okay - and what turned you towards the light? Southpark? 9/11? Rational thought?


;-)

I was a Young Republican and worked for Reagan's campaign when I was a kid. I'm proud to say that I pulled the lever for Reagan on my first election day.

[Dashing Dasher]

HE HE HE!!!

[Ditter]

I have also driven off with the gas nozzle in the gas tank. Oh goodness did Mr. Ditter scold me. Then there was the time we drove off after getting gas late one night in another state. He thought I paid and I thought he paid. Neither one of us had paid for the gas. We were 20 to 30 miles down the road when we realized we had not paid for the gas. We streaked back to the station just as the cashier was about to call the Sheriff with a very good description of the truck we were driving. (Whew that was close)

[MoochPooch]

My hubby is an abstract/sequential -- a bit of the absent-minded professor. My oldest son is the poster child for concrete/random.

Me? I think I'm plain screwed up.

[BossLady]

You have Freepmail..... :o

[rzeznikj at stout]

Showing up for class in the wrong classroom in the middle of the semester.

[Dashing Dasher]

It's about time!

Thanks...

;-)

[patton]

LMAO

[patton]

On the first day of class, I always announced, "This is advanced real analysis (or whatever)...if you are not a math major, you are in the wrong room!"

invariably, 10 students would leave.

[BossLady]

This is not MY blonde moment but someone else's....

I was 16 and working at Spencer Gifts just after Christmas. This lady in her 40's wanted to return a certain kind of "massager" (wink wink). I asked for the receipt and then asked her why she was returning it. She replied, "It doesn't work." I said, "How do you know that? Did you have the batteries in it?" (I already had 2 women try and return because they said it didn't work. Come to find out they did not have batteries in it! LOL!) She said..."Of course." She tries to hand me the massager out of the box and I look down to see 'traces' of massaging pasts. (Gag!) So I then said....'How do you know it doesn't work'....she said...'Because I didn't have an orgasm!!!' LMAO!

When I told my mother that story later that night, she insisted I find a new job! HAHAHA!

[conservativebabe]

Ouch! Lucky for me, I had wised up by the second election and voted for Dole.

[flada]

Speaking of coffee...

When I was about 19 and a young enlistee in the Navy, I applied for an ROTC scholarship. On the day that I was to go sit before a review board, I put on my dress whites which were fresh from the cleaners, pinned on my ribbons, and put on my spit-shined shoes. The board was to convene on the other side of Jacksonville so I had to drive there. On the way, I decided to stop at a convenience store to buy a cup of coffee.

I don't think I need to finish this story.

[rzeznikj at stout]

I know.

This is in the middle of the semester, though ;)

[Darksheare]

That would be it!

[Darksheare]

That sounds eerily like events that happen in my family.

Are you sure Eaker isn't somehow related to me?

[TheMom]

Are you sure Eaker isn't somehow related to me?

Is possible. I understand you also like coffee that will walk from the pot into your cup.