Posted on 05/26/2006 7:28:02 PM PDT by dangus
Long, Long ago, in a pickup truck far, far away, Molly Seidel and Emily Erwin were just two rather talented, Southern musicians. Then, like the Little Rascals' remake of "Faust," (or, "Damned Yankees,") Natalie Maines was plunked in their midst.
Ms. Maines is a short, stubby woman of no obvious talent or beauty. But her rock-and-roll attitude was just the twist that the Dixie Chicks needed to differentiate themselves from the kind of passable bluegrass music that is most useful for the background music of a Ken Burns documentary. Up through 2002, with the exception of "Landslide," the Dixie Chicks' style remained solidly bluegrass.
If ever there was a song that highlighted Natalie's shortcomings, it was the remake of Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide." Molly and Emily did a fine job performing "Landslide" as a bluegrass song, but the song's innate musicality belongs more to Berkeley than Birmingham.
Emily's pregnancy would've fit into a true Dixie video just fine; but Berkley women don't reproduce; they just worship Gaia, so there was no reconciling the imagery. The result was a four-minute long eau-de-Toilette commercial. Emily's very pregnant appearance made her look like something out of an Anne Gedes photoshoot, and made Natalie look like something out of "Bride of Chucky." And Natalie's singing made Stevie Nicks sound good, which is pretty bad since Stevie sounds a lot like Katherine Hepburn accepting her lifetime achievement Oscar.
Nonetheless, songs like "Long Time Gone" were radio-friendly enough to make a huge hit out of the album. Her anti-war comments came as the country audience was just about wearing thin, but brought in a whole new audience: the DailyKOS / Democratic Underground / Move On crowd, who didn't know what good bluegrass sounded like.
As much as they'd like to claim victimhood, the country crowd always knew the Dixie Chicks were liberals. And they didn't care until the Dixie Chicks slammed their commander-in-chief on foreign soil during a time of war. Rather than apologize, the Dixie Chicks proclaimed their freedom of speech and bitterly denounced how horrible it was that people exercise their freedom of speech to criticize the Dixie Chicks.
Quite unjustly, Natalie became the center of attention, but the Chicks caught on among an audience which is otherwise shocked and offended by the use of the word "chick," and whose only previous exposure to country music was K.D. Lang.
But what Hell Molly and Emily must be in now! Trying desperately to pump up album sales so as to get Natalie's "message" heard, the record company has thrown an incredibly lavish production behind Natalie: a gospel choir for backup, a full symphony orchestra for accompaniment, and a slew of songwriters and producers to give her something to sing. All of which leaves Molly and Emily about as useful as Stevie Nicks during a Lindsay Buckingham song. Even the video comes off looking like the pretty (Ok, passable) girls defending the ugly girl from schoolyard taunts.
If there was any question of the recording industry's leftism, would someone please explain the fortune invested into spreading Ms. Maines' new gospel? After all, that's left of the Chicks is Maines' weak voice, almost drowned out by over-production. Granted, there have been Pop acts that don't display any more talent, but then Brittney Spears doesn't look like Murphy Brown's 63-year-old face superimposed onto Uncle Fester's body. Yet.
Poor Molly and Emily. Other people are now telling them what to sing, what to wear, what (not) to play. But at least they have their artistic freedom.
DRATS! WHY do I never see the screw-ups on the edit page?
I do. Back before the ugly one joined the group they had another singer and I actually enjoyed watching and listening to them. Sad state of affairs.
Notice how, even on their promo photos, two of the Dixie Chicks look like they are sneering in disgust. I also posted this in case some people thought I was being mean with the Murphy Brown comment. 
The former look of the Dixie Chicks. Serious question: How does liberalism make people so damned ugly? (referring mostly to Natalie.) Heck, in a really wierd way, even Jeanine Garofolo used to be cute. (In fact, I just saw some reeeeeally old pictures of Candice Bergen...)
O my goodness! What was she doing? Posing for Weekly World News' drawings of Bat Boy?
Grrr! I called Martie Emily throughout, and I called Emily Mollie! That's it I'm firing my editor! What? I don't HAVE an editor? No wonder my editing stinks. OK... I'm offering 50% of all grosses for an editor. (There IS an obvious catch.)
Boy, they're getting ugly!
Great, I'm hired!
(I like your writing style.)
huh-hoh! THAT'S COOL!
No worries, your piece was great! I have to admit that I've never heard anything by the Dicksie Chicks, and didn't even know what they looked like. You've insulted Murphy Brown *wink*
Since y'all appreciated Boone's take, I thought you might appreciate a FReeper's. Mine... (I'm somewhat crueler.)
OK, I'm trawling for hits. :^D But I think you'll be glad you came. Be sure to invite friends/pings if you like it.
Was this really a magazine cover parody? LOL.
I don't know what you're talking about. I don't prescribe to the theory that in order to disagree with someone you have to minimize their talent. Natalie Maines has a great voice and more music talent than most of us have in our little finger, so you can take me off your list.
Supposedly 2 if not all 3 just had some expensive plastic recontruction.
I play keyboard and piano, so I DO have a little bit of talent in my little finger, lol....I had to read this about three times..you DO realize what you said, right? Maybe a smiley :) at the end?
Ummmm......that ain't much music talent.
My chickens play a mean piano.....with their beaks.
With the nude magazine cover, they've sunk to Madonna's level...cheap flesh stunts to get attention. What's next, natalie...gonna put yourself up on a cross?
>> I don't prescribe to the theory that in order to disagree with someone you have to minimize their talent. <<
I do agree with you, and I did try to respect the talent possessed by "Molly" (oops) and Emily. I am very unimpressed with Natalie's voice. Part of the shock which inspired the article is the "injustice" of seeing Natalie made into the superstar while the others' talents rot.
By the way, I didn't think it a necessary part of the article to state so, but I certainly wouldn't want to denigrate the artistic talent of "studio" performers, either... It's just that they are so misused.
The Dixie Chicks were nothing until Maines came along..they were lucky to play County Fairs. Natalie was the star. Period. Unimpresses with her voice? Give me a break. You might be unimpressed, but I think the majority would disagree with you.
You related to Natalie? Just asking.
One has to be related to the girl to think she has great voice? I think she's a pig, but she sure can sing.
Try polling us here at FR Hildy....
..I dare say MOST are unimpressed with Natalie's voice......OK.
I'm not saying Natalie's voice sucks or anything, but Paula Abdul informed her William Hung needed some backup singers. Not Simon, but Paula...
That's gotta hoit.
>> Supposedly 2 if not all 3 just had some expensive plastic recontruction. <<
Sad. Self-expression comes down to self-mutilation so you can pose in some gay misogynist's clothing line while a hired orchestra and choir performs songs you didn't write.
I thought that it was Mardy, not Molly.
I used to have the biggest crush on Emily.
Mark
Sorry to disagree, but if Natalie went to the Berkeley School of Music, she's got talent. It's one of the premiere music schools in the nation, and it's VERY tough to get in.
Mark
Ooops. The reference to Berkley was to the West Coast hippy center of anti-Americanism. Real writers learn to avoid ambiguous references.
And yes, I've known several people who have attended Berklee (that's how the Boston school is spelled, isn't it?), given that I was a (meagerly talent) musician living in Boston for three years.
And yes, it is "Martie," not Molly. I caught that too late to fix it. I already fired my editor over that one. (see post 7)
Because if there is injustice anywhere in the world, they have been brainwashed to believe that it is somehow their fault for not suffering along with the victims. Unearned guilt, and the impotent rage that comes with it, twists and distorts their features over time.
Unfortunately, those who believe in the doctrine of Original Sin end up looking the same way...for the same reason.
Thanks for sending this to me. I happen to loathe these "twisted sisters"- as much for their politics as for their lack of true talent, a lack shared by most of the newer chick singers. They all seem to feel they must be Britney Spears.
I also turn my nose up at groups formed by record companies. If they didn't start out in their parents' garage, basement or barn- I ain't interested! ;)
Well, I always thought she was the best looking of the group before they all butched up, at least in those air brushed pictures the put on magazines-- she has striking eyes while the others look too bland.
But great voice? Good, sure-- good enough to power a medicore group that impressed alterna-country "roots" fans who think Hank Williams, Jr. sucks becuase he rocks too much. Maines did have some vocal power, true. But her voice is syrupy, without distinctiveness and has only gotten more so-- just compare her and Stevie Nicks singing the same song. Singing harmonies with fiddle accompaniments doesn't make a group talented, it just makes it more likely for Garrison Keillor to think they're talented. Remember, they need to be compare to others who are in their field and have had their success, not to so and so who never had a music lesson.
dumb broads.....
Actually, in a way you highlighted your point that the other two Dixie Chicks (the ones with looks and talent) have been rendered forgettable in light of Maines' behavior.
In truth, I didn't even realize you got their names wrong until I read this post.
I can't think of a better description than this one. Yeah, I still love Stevie Nicks though.
They were the top selling country record of 2003 and had the top grossing tour. But all those people weren't as smart as you. OK.
Luckily for Martie, her curse is that she is a twin for John Kerry's daughter who wore the see-through dress at Cannes. She is not as harshly unattractive as the other two in this publicity photo.
Happy does wonders for a person's appearance. It seems that all we're going to see from these gals is a lot of bitter and ugly.
Come on, that's not fair! Are you claiming that you've liked every popular act, or that every popular act is good, or that intelliegnce is demonstrated by taste in music? Many people smarter than me liked the Dixie Chicks, probably including you. But so what? Being smarter doesn't make someone right. Jimmy Carter... enough said.
If you look at what I said, I agreed with you that Natalie had a good voice and that she provided the impetus for their popularity. I even went further than you and gave another reason for their popularity at the time--- I said I thought she was hot!
That's a LOT of positive stuff to've said about them given the nature of the thread! Even YOU didn't srespond to people saying Maines was an ugly pig!
But yes, taking all of that into consideration, I do still think they suck. I was always annoyed when they were presented as "real country" as opposed to singers I actually liked like Garth Brooks who were supposed to be "fakes" and their homey, overdone "it's-just-little-old-us" style also always annoyed me. I was completely unsurprised when they came out as leftists becuase the tone of their songs was always in that Peter, Paul and Mary kind of mold. So, just as Time Magazine feels the country has caught up to them, I feel conservatives have finally caught up to me. Now, if Sean Hannity would get rid of that nonsensical anti-male "Let the Right be Wrong" song, I'll be happy. But--- to each their own!
I'm just tired of people coming on FR and diminishing the talent of people they disagree with. I GET IT that you don't think they're that good. OK...SO WHAT? And you'd be surprised how many Country stars are leftists. They're just smart enough not to talk about it.
The problem is you're still stuck in the REAL vs. NEW COUNTRY mindset. Well, the new Country is making gobs of money so new country will be considered REAL country. But again, what's the difference..listen to what you want. Obviously their music isn't up to your standards, but for the rest of us who don't really take it all that seriously, they were pretty damn good.
Hmmm...I guess two interchangable bookends in the background is how most of us look at Martie and Emily when supporting Natalie.
MarkL, I sure agree with you on Emily. Back when she was a blonde, there was never on this earth a woman less in need of plastic surgery!
But real soon after they hit it big, the blonde Emily went away, and for me that was a big sign of trouble for the quality of that group. The hair color change was the warning siren for things to come!
Ah, yes, I bought the packaging! You bet!
The problem is you're still stuck in the REAL vs. NEW COUNTRY mindset. Well, the new Country is making gobs of money so new country will be considered REAL country. But again, what's the difference..listen to what you want. Obviously their music isn't up to your standards, but for the rest of us who don't really take it all that seriously, they were pretty damn good.
Hey, I like a lot of groups and singers who don't have political views I respect. For instance, Metallica says these days that they're ashamed of their patriotic song "Don't Tread On Me". Well, too bad for them--- they already made it and I already like it. And I know tons of country stars are leftists-- that's why it annoys me when Hannity acts like that isn't the case and Country is supposed to be just-oh-so-different than other genres.
I didn't think I was taking them too seriously. Aren't there any groups you don't like? Don't you ever talk about that? Besides, weren't the Dixie Chicks supposed to be "real Country" and Shania Twian and the more pop style stars "new"? You're absolutely right a lot of people like a lot of music I don't like. That I have an opinion doesn't mean I think my opinion reigns supreme over all of those that disagree with it. I don't claim to be a country music expert or any kind of expert. To me, "Freedom Costs a Buck O'Five" is a good country song, at least for most of it.
The Dixie Chicks must have done something right to inspire so much passion in you. Maybe I'll check out one of their albums again.
First she says,
I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it
Then, this:
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting
It doesn't make any sense!!!!
ROTFLMAO! I love it!
Thanks... I was wondering if anyone would follow the link from the Da Vinci column... and I was kinda wondering if anyone had seen the video so they would get that paragraph; it's my personal favorite, but I also knew it required the most familiarity.
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