Posted on 08/31/2006 1:44:09 PM PDT by Mad Dash
A Cat's Diary
Day 183 of my captivity.
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait. It's only a matter of time.
Never inquire about the Viking Kitties again, for your own safety....
The Bunny with the pancake is, IMO, a metaphor for something ridiculous or that does not make sense
Maybe Jo can help with the explanation. I'm kind of new here, so mine may not be entirely correct.
Uh Oh..I just replied!
Oh boy, now you are in trouble! ;-)
Hey MD... you got the Viking Kitty thing right. I don't know about the pancake head. Try asking a moderator.
Is this a TOZ article?
Thanks for the afternoon humor break :)
Is this a TOZ or ZOT article?
Let't put it to a vote.
Is this a TOZ or ZOT article?
Let's put it to a vote.
Otz are, it's just a general inquiry.
Thanks JO, I was out of pocket for a few minutes!
ZOT? If it is, I'm standing as far back as I can!
Dude, that is so 2002.
Still standing away. Far, far, away.
I just thought I had found Viking Kitties Diary!
I seem to recall this was from a Reader's Digest story.
It also dealt with Greeblings and Kazoons -- invisible things that come from the ceiling to attack humans but only cats can see them (and defend us).
You are most welcome!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.