The ***OFFICIAL*** Weekend Singles' Thread -- Dear Abby/Dolly (September 22-24, 2006)

hello! any good plans for weekend?

21 posted on 09/22/2006 5:09:11 PM PDT by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)

22 posted on 09/22/2006 5:11:01 PM PDT by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)

Nothing right now, unless I think of something at the last minute.

23 posted on 09/22/2006 5:13:56 PM PDT by darkangel82 (Higher visibility leads to greater zottability.)

I am supposed to be in DC now... but the van that was to be ready last evening is still in shop. Bummer. I had the ducks in row.. friend to help with mom, another to feed the cats. I was taking FReep Pups Josy/Toby. Walter Reed NOW.. and the rally tomorrow in DC 12-3 (with some cut in time for the funeral of 2nd Lt. Emily J.T. Perez ping!

Thread here

24 posted on 09/22/2006 5:19:37 PM PDT by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)

To: All; Hoodlum91; RockinRight; pcottraux; Maximus_Ridiculousness

need a nap.. will be back if I wake up. So glad I cancelled dinner/movie date. WIll see it eventually(invincible).. anyone see it.

I am falling asleep at keyboard.

IloveW & Rocky in DC? I am not ... sigh.... wish I could have been with you at Walter Reed tongiht.

Phil? I didn't get a ping Wed again.. maybe you are/were still under weather.

Max.. job sitll going better?

tomorrow will be in contact with the schedule for hosts..

for now.. toodles!

25 posted on 09/22/2006 6:02:58 PM PDT by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)

26 posted on 09/22/2006 6:16:02 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout (Boldly Going Nowhere since, er, I don't know when...)

To: rzeznikj at stout

Mornin although it's 9:30 pm lol.

27 posted on 09/22/2006 6:32:17 PM PDT by darkangel82 (Higher visibility leads to greater zottability.)

It's mornin somewhere in the world...

28 posted on 09/22/2006 6:39:50 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout (Boldly Going Nowhere since, er, I don't know when...)

Nope, I'm home in Akron tonight, and Hoodie's in DC... :-(

29 posted on 09/22/2006 7:00:37 PM PDT by RockinRight (She rocks my world, and I rock her world.)

How's the weather in AK? What town are you in?

30 posted on 09/22/2006 7:02:41 PM PDT by RockinRight (She rocks my world, and I rock her world.)

To: DollyCali; A knight without armor

Thanks for the wishes & prayers!

Alaska is in the 'Alaska time zone', 1 hour behind Pacific.

Things have been looking pretty good for me regarding work, and I will post pics & a short story after I find work. I promise, the drive was beautiful!

31 posted on 09/22/2006 7:07:53 PM PDT by proud_yank (Socialism - An Answer In Search Of A Question For Over 100 Years)

Today, its been rainy all day long. When I ran to the store, I saw that it had snowed on the upper half of the mountains.

For now, I am in Anchorage staying with a friend of mine from school. I'm just about to call about an apartment in Eagle River, which is the next town north of here.

I have an interview soon in Prudhoe Bay, which is on the Arctic Ocean. If I am working there, I'll be doing shift work and am free to live wherever I please. I would like to get a small cabin near Wasilla, Willow, or Talkeetna (AKA 'the Valley'), or on the Kenai Peninsula somewhere.

Anchorage is nice, but is definitely a city. There is always stuff flying here, from 747's, fighter jets, to countless bush & float planes, which is kind of neat.

32 posted on 09/22/2006 7:11:15 PM PDT by proud_yank (Socialism - An Answer In Search Of A Question For Over 100 Years)

When I ran to the store, I saw that it had snowed on the upper half of the mountains.

Mmm...snow. I think I'm going to miss that this winter, going from Vermont to Washington State.

Good evening, all! What's left of ya, anyhow...

33 posted on 09/22/2006 8:09:09 PM PDT by RosieCotton

Regarding "baggage" in a potential partner, I think each of us needs to evaluate what the baggage means. Not all baggage was packed the same way, and the way the baggage was packed may provide information that should be considered. We all have some baggage. The important point is whether two potential partners can arrange all of their baggage in a way that lets them get it all in the trunk.

As always, I have to admit that I don't speak from personal experience. I've never even had a girlfriend, but I've learned some things by watching and listening to others. These are my thoughts about "baggage."

As an example, let's consider debt. Money problems can put huge strains on a marriage, and lack of compatibility in this area often leads to divorce. Debt is a kind of baggage that is related to how people handle money, and therefore this baggage gives some important clues about a potential partner.

What is the source of the debt?

Is this person in $25,000 of debt with nothing to show for that debt except a closet full of shoes or a garage full of fishing rods? A basic principle of life is that we can't consume more than we produce. Someone who doesn't understand that principle is a fool and is not likely to be a good marriage partner. I see nothing wrong with rejecting someone immediately if he or she has a huge debt from foolish living and refuses to see that this irresponsibility is wrong.

Is this person in debt because he or she invested in a small business that didn't succeed? Even people who do everything right will sometimes fail in trying to start a business. That failure and the related debt are not a sign of anything being wrong with the individual who carries that debt. The debt is baggage, but if the relationship is right, that baggage shouldn't be a problem. The most important warning to take from that kind of baggage is that a partner with a strong entrepreneurial drive may rise and fall from debt several times. If someone isn't willing to ride that financial roller coaster, he or she must either persuade the partner to give up that dream or abandon the relationship.

Is this person in debt because he/she made an investment in something worthwhile and is simply waiting for the investment to make returns? For instance, someone who took a loan to get more education and is living carefully and repaying that loan while working at a new job is someone who understands the principle of producing and consuming. The debt is still baggage, but there's much less downside to bringing that baggage into the relationship.

Another question is whether one can afford that debt even if the debt says nothing bad about the debtor. For instance, if one's passion is to some calling that will never pay much money and prevents a spouse from making much money, then a big debt may be more than a relationship can handle regardless of how the debt was accrued. A guy who wants to be a missionary may never be able to pay a big debt run up by his girlfriend. If he's serious about being a missionary but has no way of paying the debt, he may have to let that relationship go while she finds some way to make good on what she owes.

Money issues can be difficult.

There are good people who understand that they can't consume more than they produce but who just don't have the impulse control to stop buying. If they can find a merchant who will take their credit card, they'll buy something. In some cases, their spouses end up having to treat them like children when it comes to money. The spouse will take away all credit cards, checkbooks, and ATM cards. The spouse will dole out cash in small increments and demand a full accounting. For some people, this kind of relationship is fine. Personally, I couldn't tolerate having a wife that I had to treat as a child in that area.

Another issue is how much people are committed to saving. I'm a pretty hard-core saver. To some extent, part of my baggage is that I'm still carrying the fear that my Mom's family felt during the Depression. There are families where both parents work and make good incomes but after ten years of marriage, they have less than $1,000 (or $3,000 or $10,000 or whatever) in savings because everything above that just "burns a hole in their pockets." If they have more than some amount in the checking account, they're going to trade a car, or buy tickets to Europe, or buy all new furniture, or whatever. I remember a friend telling about people he knew whose kids had every toy imaginable but the family had less than $5,000 in savings. I'm trying not to be critical of that lifestyle, and I'm certainly not critical of people who just don't make enough money to save. However, I wouldn't want to marry someone who wasn't committed to saving and investing.

One of my pieces of baggage is the fact that I've never really had a girlfriend. While women can say that they don't mind a guy who isn't experienced, most of them end up expecting a guy to know things that I just wouldn't know or wouldn't know when to apply. I'm not talking about sexual things as much as basic relationship practices. Because I've never had a girlfriend, part of my baggage is that I'm going to need much more "just us" time than many other guys my age. Because of this need, my baggage just isn't going to fit into the trunk with a woman whose baggage is that she has kids from a previous relationship.

Anyway, these are just some thoughts. We appear to be headed for a dead thread alert, but maybe there will be enough criticism of these thoughts to get us over the 50 post mark.

Bill

34 posted on 09/22/2006 8:12:38 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)

To: DollyCali; pcottraux; All

Hey Miss Dolly!

Just checking in briefly. I did a 12 hour shift today so I'm rather late tonight after relaxing a little and getting some eats.

Phil has been working graveyard shifts (overnight) at his job for this whole week on a special store project, so he canceled this week's freeptoons. Poor guy's been doing 10-12 hour shifts since Sunday, I think, without a day off. As far as I know, he should be back to normal hours in a few more days. We may see very little of him this weekend, just to let ya'll know. He's having a very rough time at his job right now and could really use some prayers and support.

35 posted on 09/22/2006 9:20:00 PM PDT by Maximus_Ridiculousness (Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.)

Hey Bill,

I think you hit the nail on the head in terms of defining "baggage". Still though, I truly believe your view of women and relationships are very skewed. Women LOVE "us" time, kids or no kids, so I can't imagine where in the world you are basing this conclusion on...especially if you've never had a gf. Besides, it's never to late to start dating. If you're not one for wanting to meet a woman with kids, then there are plenty out there your age who don't have kids.

36 posted on 09/22/2006 9:27:45 PM PDT by Maximus_Ridiculousness (Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.)

To: Maximus_Ridiculousness

Hey Max. Seems like we're the only ones here.

37 posted on 09/22/2006 9:28:39 PM PDT by darkangel82 (Higher visibility leads to greater zottability.)

Hey Darkie.

What's shakin?

38 posted on 09/22/2006 9:37:07 PM PDT by Maximus_Ridiculousness (Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.)

To: Maximus_Ridiculousness

Just watching TV and posting on here, not much else but it's late.

39 posted on 09/22/2006 9:37:50 PM PDT by darkangel82 (Higher visibility leads to greater zottability.)

Yikes! You're east coast time. It's not even 10pm where I'm at yet.

40 posted on 09/22/2006 9:54:57 PM PDT by Maximus_Ridiculousness (Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.)

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794