Posted on 09/22/2006 3:57:06 PM PDT by DollyCali
Dear Abby/Dolly will be a 3-4 times a year part of our Weekend singles Thread. Questions will come from YOU. Answers will come from Me… and you on the thread. Please kick in with your thoughts, disagreements, and personal stories. We can learn from each other.. And now.. ON WITH THE SHOW!
I am a divorced woman who basically is dateless. I rarely go many places & am considered by most attractive, moderate build, weight but still no dates. You are considerably older than me yet seem to be out all the time. Can you share your secret?
The most important thing: Be yourself but first KNOW yourself. Don’t involve yourself with things you dislike or are lukewarm about with the hopes of meeting men to date. Go to activities & functions that are important to you & when threre throw yourself heart & soul into the activity.
Since you asked about me I will tell you that the men I date are ones that I believe are attracted to my being a tomboy. I play rough, do heavy activities(kayaking rough waters) biking(long distance & rough rides on trails or on roads) extreme long hikes off trails thru water, underbrush etc, cross country skiing NOT on trails & rough terrain for examples.
I don’t mind getting messed up along the way, am NOT crazy about correcting my makeup hair on dates, and have no problems in getting my shoes wet, dirty etc.
I date men 20 years younger as well as 20 years older & in everywhere between
Many people that are looking for "love, romance, long-term, lifelong" partner but seems to think that they are "above" anyone with "baggage." In my mind, the attitude alone is "baggage" on the part of the person seeking a partner.
It is extremely difficult to take on the burdens and problems of another, but the reality is, we all have problems.
Any ideas on how to change the minds of the masses without offending them in the thought that they are not "perfect?"
Yes, it is the old idea of a person NOT living in reality. They do NOT make good partners as they have a narcissist view of life.. Your second line is the answer. You can waste your life trying to change them but I think they learn the most by having reoccurring problems in relationships & falling on their face along the way. If they THEN truly introspect, they might have a chance. There is “Pollyanna” is all phases of life. Your hi-lighted one of them.
It seems to me folks in recovery groups often find some great potential mates OR the kukos in life. It is up to us to be ale to sort it all out. You can’t change folks but you can chose well.
We had this same struggle with Jeff, … re: Halloween, Easter bunny, Santa Claus.. etc. I let son Jeff always participate but made sure there were heavy duty discussions on the real centering of the activity & the hazards along the way. We didn’t go crazy with pricey costume etc & a few years instead of trick or treating we had the kids all over for a fall costume party.
At one of the churches we were at there were similar functions with emphasis on teaching the truth about Santa, bunny & the Halloween problems.
Now if your kiddie is really young the teaching is pretty simple & added to each year.
I know some parents completely prevent any Halloween participation for religious belief reasons.
If you “clean up well” and I guess I do, these same men love to take you to classy restaurants & the theater.
It is funny but for me it is really easy to get to know someone when you play with enthusiasm & carefree mentality.
What about “troublemakers” in the workplace. I have had people I barely know stirring up the waters & causing me to walk on egg shells. (this taken from discussion on a thread a few weeks ago between several of our men). What can I do.
Not much unfortunately. Some folks get their kicks from making other people miserable (does the word “terrorist” come to mind?) If in this situation you must go the extra mile to keep your nose clean & avoid any appearance of a problem. Women have done a LOT of harm to innocent men for whatever reasons but telling falsehoods or stretch “big time” the truth.. If you have one of these, never chat alone with them. ALWAYS have another trusted person with you to verify what was said. They are often just jealous &/or very insecure about their job. They will always try to make themselves look good & they feel unfortunately a good way to do this is to make OTHERS LOOK BAD.
Thank GOD I'm Forgiven
Thank GOD I'm Free
Work place trouble makers. I'm always amazed how one person is allowed to make so many people miserable. Thankfully I am not dealing with that now but I have seen it in the past.
Hi Dolly & all
I think at the present moment, I am the latter TGIF, and PGFW (Please God, Find Work)!
Having a great time in Alaska, and the job hunt is going well. Now been here two weeks, and had 3 interviews and 2 second interviews planned.
It is amazing here, if anyone ever has plans to visit AK, please let me know!!
Question =I am again dreading the advent of the “Halloween” season. My child eats all the wrong foods(yes, mostly sweets) at friends & her dads, I worry about trick or treat & the sick people out there & I really hate for her getting into the Halloween Holiday which I consider demonic. I am torn to keep my child into the fun things of life yet have her save & our value system intact.
All, I am sorry this is such a mess.. I did the boo-boo of hitting post rather than review. Someone already had posted when I realized the mess.. would have pulled & done again otherwise.
I think the answer to number 3 is to file a lawsuit against halloween candy manufacturers. Like McDonalds, WalMart, etc, its their fault kids eat candy. :-)
Not yet. They get a full range of colors here, green, reds, etc, and people have told me that some nights you can hear them 'cracking' as they dance across the sky.
I've only seen greens, when I lived in Upper Michigan and Canada.
Is it snowing there?
No, not yet. Its cool and rainy today. Its been in the 50-60 range the past few days, and high 30's-40 at night.
I cant recall if you were at all involved in the discussion a few weeks ago with stout & phil & max...
That sort of thing makes going into work each day is hard.
We can each mess up adequaely on our own w/o busybodies adding to the woes
I have to get going to follow up on some more phone calls to find a job!
I may or may not be around later, I have to try and find my wireless card so I can use my own computer (been using a friends for too long now!)
Well, sending a prayer your way for a great job, with adequate pay, good people to work with & good hours.
Crossing my fingers, toes & eyes also for good meansure.
what is your time zone ? Pacific?
You will get a good job. I know it is hard. You will be so happy and relieved in your new job.
I agree. Some people are just miserable all the time & they rarely smile or rarely seem to go out of their way for anyone.
The fact is that people often steal the peace & joy from others in countless ways
no I have not seen that. Sounds interesting but scary. I know the creeps are out there and PTL I have no young daughters to worry about.
There was an internet story about a cop who traps a minor via questions etc & has sufficient info to go to her house & confront her/parents on internet safety.
I never did check snopes but think it was one of these "teach a lesson" w/o true facts.
Good evening all.
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