Democrats Mull Alternatives to Iraq War Funding Cut

http://www.scrappleface.com/ ^ | February 19, 2007 | by Scott Ott

[Lucky9teen]

(2007-02-19) — After failing to pass a non-binding resolution condemning a U.S. troop surge in Iraq, Democrats, reluctant to cut funding for the war, are reportedly studying a host of alternatives designed to show that they support the troops yet oppose the commander-in-chief, President George Bush.

“Cutting funding for troops in the field is political suicide,” said one unnamed Democrat senator, “but we think we have some creative ways to accomplish our goal of ending the war, without the perception that we’re anti-troop.”

The following is a partial list of the top options now under consideration by Democrat leaders in the House and Senate, each of which demonstrates support for the troops, but accelerates the pace of withdrawal:

– Increase funding for body armor. Require ground troops to wear two KEVLAR® suits each, and to carry a large bronze shield on street patrol.

– Supply infantry with “tricked out” HumVees, complete with undercarriage neon lighting, glow-in-the-dark paint job, “always on” thundering-bass sound system and a bumper sticker that reads “Jesus is My Co-Pilot.”

– Send every member of the fighting force a personal “Thank You,” letting them know that they’re giving their lives in order to protect a land where the top news story all week has been about Britney Spears shaving her head.

– Pass non-binding resolution condemning overcrowding at U.S. bases in Iraq.

– Sponsor USO Tour featuring Barbra Streisand, Rosie O’Donnell and Michael Moore.

– Release scientific report proving that muzzle flash causes global warming.

[Lucky9teen]

Democrats: Anything to oppose George Bush, irregardless of the security of this country or degrading those that protect it with their lives.

A$$ hats

[Young Werther]

Since today is Presidents Day they can go to the Smithsonian and borrow George Washington's saber!

Then they proceed to the Capitol Building Front Porch. At a CNN news conference they would each voice their concerns and then take the saber, place it under their left ear and then draw it to the right. I'm sure the 'Pubs will stand by with pistol in hand to deliver the '32 Deuce Coup!