Posted on 06/28/2007 2:20:09 PM PDT by fgoodwin
Father's importance no laughing matter
http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/berman/422242,CST-FTR-berman11.article
http://tinyurl.com/yrp9wc
Dad may not always know best, but he knows far more than contemporary TV sitcoms suggest
June 11, 2007
BY LAURA BERMAN
Black-and-white sitcoms such as "Leave It to Beaver," "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet" and "Father Knows Best" constructed Dad as the center of the American family. The fathers in these shows did it all -- they were the breadwinners, the coaches, the teachers, the advice-givers and the loving guides who saved their children from danger.
But if you turn on your television today, fathers on recent sitcoms like "Everybody Loves Raymond," "Still Standing" and "According to Jim" portray men as the lowest form of family member. They are childish, needy, whiny and altogether hopeless. Laughs are generally at their expense, and sitcom wives must stoically indulge their husbands' stupidity. Whether you are a fan of these shows or not, you have to wonder: Are fathers really so useless to the modern nuclear family?
Definitely not. As much as we love to laugh at the hijinks of these dim-witted sitcom daddies, the importance of fathers in the lives of their children is no laughing matter. Studies have shown that children who have actively involved fathers do much better academically. Children with actively involved fathers are also much less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol, live in poverty or develop psychological issues. These studies prove that having a good father is not a luxury -- it is a necessity.
However, many fathers struggle to contribute meaningfully to their children's lives. In many cases, it isn't because they don't want to, but because their wives won't let them! Of course, in the case of abusive or troubled fathers, it is no wonder that mothers try to protect their children from such nightmare parents. But often, wonderful fathers are kept from contributing meaningfully to their children's lives, simply because their spouses don't think they know what they are doing!
Do any of these comments sound familiar? "He doesn't know how to change diapers the "right" way, so it is best if I just do it!" Or, "He takes so long to get the kids in the car seats, it is quicker if I just take them to school myself!" Or even, "I can't leave him alone with kids too long. If I do, he will probably end up burning the house down!"
This type of daddy-bashing is so common in our society that many women rarely realize they are doing it. And while it may be true that daddy doesn't always know best -- he should still be allowed to have an important role in his child's life! Maybe he can't change diapers as fast as Mommy -- but he may have a better technique for getting the kids to eat their veggies! And the more time Dad spends with the kids, the better he gets at parenting!
So the next time you feel the urge to criticize your husband's parenting, stop yourself. Allow your child's father the honor and the privilege of being more than just a backseat driver in his baby's life. You may come home to a slightly disordered house or a baby covered in chocolate pudding, but just remember, your child will forever cherish memories of time spent alone with daddy. Let's celebrate Father's Day this year by giving Dad some personal time with his child...and some special attention from his wife after the kids are asleep!
--
Laura Berman, Ph.D., is a couples therapist and director of Chicago's Berman Center.
Yeah, Baby!
Now that’s a well placed ‘r’!
Even if it leads to even more kids! ;)
“When I was 14, I thought my dad was the stupidest man in the world. When I turned 21, I couldn’t believe how much he learned in only 7 years.”
—Mark Twain
Well, yeah...but who watches TV sitcoms? They exist only to help liberals reinforce stereotypes they already believe in. ;)
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