Dead Monster Washes Ashore in Montauk

GAWKER ^ | Tue Jul 29 2008

[Sopater]

No, Lizzie Grubman's still alive. This is an actual monster, some sort of rodent-like creature with a dinosaur beak. A tipster says that there is "a government animal testing facility very close by in Long Island," but unless the government is trying to design horrible Montauk monsters that will eat IEDs and fart fire at bad Iraqis, we're not sure why they would create such an unthinkable beast. Our guess is that it's viral marketing for something. Ali Lohan's new album perhaps. Click thru for larger dino-damage.

[Lijahsbubbe]

This is a de-shelled sea tortoise. Shows over folks! Nothing to see here!

Ick! If that's what it is I'll never look at a tortoise the same way! (not that we exchange looks often...)

[Hardshell]

....has anyone seen Helen Thomas lately????

[CT-Freeper]

I think that was one of the earliest movies I have a memory of seeing in the theater. I couldn't have been older than 4 or 5.

[isrul]

Historically, Montauk is a strange place. At least if you've ever listened to Art Bell or his descendants.

[DustyMoment]

BREAKING NEWS!!

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi cancelled appearances publicing her book tour today when the body of a moonbat washed ashore on Montauk.

A spokesperson for the Speaker had this to say: “Speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi, is in mourning after learning of the death of one of her 3 supporters. She is currently in seclusion mourning her loss.”

(/ big time sarc)

[Owl558]

“A tortise without a shell?
No scales either.”

I seem to remember that turtle and tortise shells have the backbone of these animals fused to it. The only place these shells slip on and off is in cartoons.

Of course, no scale and a single picture is par for the course for these mystery monsters. Presumably the photographer could have added these things but didn’t.

The teeth on the thing resemble a dog’s to me as does the rest of the body except for the snout.

[RandallFlagg]

"One time I caught a sixteen footer off of Montauk. Had to stick two barrels in 'im. Two, to wear 'im down and bring 'im up.
Nowadays these kids bring out everything. Radar. Sonar...'Lectric toothbrushes..."

[Waryone]

I don’t know if it’s a tortoise but I’d have to say it’s:

Maya, XSI or 3ds Max

But I’m not the computer graphics expert in my family.

[LOC1]

Al Gore ??

[pgkdan]

That’s what it looks like to me. Definately a tortise head, IMHO.

[Clemenza]

Montauk is a fishing village/”real man’s” resort just east of the frou frou Hamptons. Great to visit, but a LONG and boring drive that reminds you of why they call it LONG Island!

[Clemenza]

Quint was actually based on Frank Mundy, who was a deep sea fisherman and local legend around Montauk. I believe he is now in his 90s, but lives in Hawaii with a much younger woman.

[Bernard Marx]

I’ve inspected the images very carefully under magnification. The writer is mistaken — it IS Lizzie Grubman!

[wrench]

It has paws, hair and claws, that ain’t no turtle.

It is a dog that part of its nose is missing, see the lower canine tooth?

[PBRSTREETGANG]

[east1234]

Hairless sea otter?

[DManA]

Looks like it’s making a last defiant gesture with it’s right hand.

[PBRSTREETGANG]

Frank Mundus (Quite a character.)

http://www.fmundus.com/

[Clemenza]

Thanks for the correction. A great guy like Mundus deserves to have his name spelled correctly.

[Ender Wiggin]

The shell of the tortoise is its ribcage, take that off and you don’t find skin underneath, just lungs and stuff.