Barf Alert! That Giant Sucking Sound: Garrison Keillor Sonnet & Song For Obama

NPR ^ | A Prairie Home Companion

[Thirteen]

From NPR Welfare Radio: Garrison Keillor (A Prairie Home Companion) recites a sonnet followed by a song for Barack Obama.

January 24, 2009

"This week on A Prairie Home Companion, we're embracing the winter cold and heading up to the DECC auditorium in Duluth, Minnesota. We'll fight the frigid temperatures with some smoldering honky-tonk from Joe Ely and Joel Guzmán, and singer-songwriter Heather Masse will melt our hearts with a song or two. As always, we'll have the Royal Academy of Radio Actors with us: Sue Scott, Tim Russell, and Tom Keith; and of course, Rich Dworsky and The Guy's All-Star Shoe Band will be there." too.

The giant sucking song starts immediately after he reads his sonnet. I've provided the time the segment starts below so you can fast forward and won't have to suffer too much while waiting for the above-mentioned segments.

In segments Play individual show segments as listed below.

Segment 1 00:00:00 Logo 00:00:12 Tishomingo Blues 00:02:57 GK talks about Obama's Inauguration 00:04:03 Obama sonnet

And to think, a few years ago, I thought A Prairie Home Companion was funny. But in my defense, that was before they became so open about their political partisanship.

http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/programs/2009/01/24/

[Darkwolf377]

Garrison Keillor

My nominee for Most Boring American

[EagleUSA]

NPR— no point in going beyond the by-line. Taxpayer funded insanity on the airwaves. Ok,libs, will the Fairness Doctrine apply to NPR too?

[redhead]

Garrison Kiellor and Stephen King. Separated at birth?

[Thirteen]

If I had thought to post the lyrics, I could have spared some of you the pain of having to listen to the song. My sincere apologies. Here are the lyrics AND a link I've found to ONLY the song:

You're the Top (Obama)
Saturday, January 24, 2009

Listen (MP3)
Listen (RealAudio)

At words poetic
I'm so pathetic
That I always have found it best
Instead of getting them off my chest,
To let 'em rest, unexpressed.
I'm out of order
To revise Cole Porter
A very elegant gent
But if my ditty
Is not so pretty
It's a song of praise to our President.

You're a star
Barack Obama
Like Renoir
Or Whistler's Mama.
When you preach you make the old folks shake their bones
You're the bass beneath a, song by Aretha, you're the Rolling
Stones You are style
You're Harry Potter
You're the smile
On the face of your daughter
I'm a tragedy, a schlump from the Midwest
But if, baby, I'm the bottom, you're the best.

You are so cool
That kids in school
Know you're in their class
And even Army brass
When they salute, they tap their boots.
You've got charisma
Your family is ma-
Jestic, your wife Michelle,
Malia and Sasha, Barack by gosh a man is smart who can
marry that well.

You wrote books
All alone you did
And you cook
Lunch for your kids
You're an ace at openface sandwiches and soups
And after lunch you do some crunches and shoot some hoops
You've got force and
You've got thunder
You're Toni Morrison
You're Stevie Wonder
I'm a jerk, a boob, a rube, a dork, a flop,
But Barack if I'm the bottom, you're the top.

You're Bob Dylan
You're Miles Davis
And you're fulfillin'
The dream you gave us
You're Sheryl Crow, you're Bordeaux au '83
You're Honest Abe, you're Ford Escape hybrid SUV
You amaze
You're distinguished
Like Shakespeare's plays
You do speak English
I'm an old has been, and I don't know when to stop
But Barack if I'm the bottom you're the top

You're the sauce
On the Ben & Jerry
You're the Boss
You're a new blackberry
You're a star so bright, you light the silver screen
You're Dr. Seuss, You're orange juice you're Bruce Springsteen

You can speak
And the words are consecutive
Which seems unique
For a chief executive
I'm an old sad clown whose pants are bound to drop
But Barack if I'm the bottom, you're the top.

All around
The world they're cheering
For the sound
Of what they're hearing
You're Lincolnesque, but also Marvin Gaye
You're Rosa Parks, Hart Schaffner Marx and Hemingway
Style and youth
You're smile is cheerier
In Duluth
You are quite superior
I'm a flop whose popularity has dropped
But Barack if I'm the bottom
You're Moby Dick
You're a memory stick
You're Nicorette
You're a pair of sweats
You're a breath of spring
You're Dr. King
You're the top.

[TV Dinners]

where’s the “Obama is an idiot” sonet?

Fairness and all....

[max americana]

That’s not a song of worship. That’s a song of lust for Hussein.

Maybe he wrote the song with a picture of obama on one hand and the other of his crotch.

[kittycatonline.com]

Garrison Keillor is Norman Rockwell Meets The Humanist Manifesto. He's probably the guy who does the music and choreography for North Korean "Dear Leader" parades.

[Darkwolf377]

Garrison Keiller looks just like someone else—even moreso than King—but I can’t put my finger on who. It’s driving me nuts.

[Hetty_Fauxvert]

I used to luuuuuuuuv Garrison Keillor! I grew up listening to his show (before his midlife-crisis hiatus). I still listen to it occasionally now, but mostly I have to turn it off before I break my teeth from gritting them so hard. Talk about drinking the Koolaid. He had a segment a couple of weeks ago portraying George W. Bush as a dry drunk who decided to start drinking again after taking a good look at his record in office. Shameful.

[Rummyfan]

Have never understood Keillor’s appeal.....

[Northern Yankee]

When Prairie Home Companion came out in the 80's, it was a station our family loved to listen to, but as the years went on we started tuning out.

Garrison has become an embarrassment with his shill attack on conservatism.

I know longer find in amusing, but rather like an old bored neighbor who's overstayed his welcome a bit too long.

[redhead]

"Garrison Keiller looks just like someone else—even moreso than King—but I can’t put my finger on who. It’s driving me nuts."

I really think we ought to throw Al Franken in there. They are all at the top of the "BOYS YOUR MOTHER WOULD NEVER CONSIDER LETTING YOU DATE." Even the Haas triplets were better than these guys.

[Dionysius]

I am terminally nauseated. Get me a priest!

[warsaw44]

I heard that segment and was really shocked. It was not a sketch in any way meant to be funny. Really in very poor taste.
Why the hell are us the people paying for a damned radio station anyway??

[Hetty_Fauxvert]

As a taxpayer, I am fine with paying (a reasonable amount) for public art — as long as it is politically neutral and reasonably artistic, in the classical sense of the word. Of course, those conditions no longer are met by NPR. But we’re still paying for it! Sigh