What’s Your Zombie Contingency Plan? 11 Practical Strategies

cracked.com ^ | April 15th, 2009 | Robert Brockway

[BigBlueJon]

If you need a break from taxes day and everything related, here's a little needed humor.

[BigBlueJon]

http://www.cracked.com/blog/whats-your-zombie-contingency-plan-11-practical-strategies/

[Joe 6-pack]

[BigBlueJon]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_OkRpCgPgE

[highnoon]

My plan is to get on free republic, and find that hideous photo of Helen Thomas and point my monitor at the zombies.

[Califreak]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqXMQEJcRzM

[cyberaxe]

.....most that know of me, including Zombies, don't want to have anything to do with me.....

.....I figure I'm fine, Zombies or not.....lol

[Billthedrill]

Be heavily armed (check!), have food onhand (check!), lots of beer (check!), clear fields of fire (check!), ingress and egress plans (check!) and have plenty of dumbass liberals to stake out for bait. That part's tougher but once the zombies start shambling around, they'll be by, whimpering.

(P.S. - the wankers on Cracked are exactly who I have in mind).

[BigBlueJon]

Regarding heavily armed....

1. Shotgun is a must. Pistol gripped, with 8 shot feed tube, and preferably with a tube mounted tactical laser/light combo.

2. Handgun. Pistol or revolver, maybe both, preferably chambered in 45ACP. Make sure to save one bullet for yourself if needed.

3. Scoped Rifle. M1A or M4 variant. Bayonet equipped.

4. Large hunting knife or machete.

5. Plenty of ammo for all of the above.

[1rudeboy]

6. “Also, attempt to find a grocery store that has a liquor license, because let’s be honest, what’s more fun then blowing the heads of the undead while drunk off your ass?”

[cyberaxe]

1. Shotgun is a must. Pistol gripped, with 8 shot feed tube, and preferably with a tube mounted tactical laser/light combo.

.....check(with exception of laser, but what the heck, it's a shotgun).....

2. Handgun. Pistol or revolver, maybe both, preferably chambered in 45ACP. Make sure to save one bullet for yourself if needed.

.....check(but still prefer my 10mm Delta Elite).....

3. Scoped Rifle. M1A or M4 variant. Bayonet equipped.

.....check(both, but only gonna use the (mint condition) bayonet as a last resort!).....

4. Large hunting knife or machete

.....check.....

5. Plenty of ammo for all of the above.

.....quantify "plenty" lol.....

[Malsua]

Zombie chick is hot. I wonder if she’s still warm.

[BigBlueJon]

If zombies are the living dead, is it still considered necrophilia?

[Billthedrill]

Chips too, and dip. And appropriate music. Blowing away zombies isn't just a solitary occupation, it can be a social thing not unlike the Superbowl. Keep score with your friends. Compare techniques. Network. Socialize. I know it's a darn good thing to have a friend or two around to assist when I gotta disassemble the ol' chain saw to get the little bits of rotting flesh out of the gears or mix up some gasoline and laundry detergent for a little do-it-yourself napalm. It's such drudgery when you have to do it all yourself!

It's an educational opportunity too - do you realize that some inner-city kids have never had the opportunity to turn a zombie's head into red mist with their brand-new .410? Never mastered the skill of a tactical reload during a lull so that they always have a topped-off mag? These are things we oldsters take for granted but you have to start somewhere.

Well, I gotta go. The Poulan's in the shop and I just had the spiked combat bumpers welded to the ol' Yugo. See you all later. One way or the other.

[BigBlueJon]

[BigBlueJon]

Let me just say.....I want to add one of these also. Attach to pistol....shottie......and rifle.

[KittyKares]

Got a chuckle out of this odd fad. I discovered that there are actual “Zombie Walks”. I am glad I am forewarned or I might have freaked out a bit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombie_walk

[TalonDJ]

Blowing away zombies isn't just a solitary occupation, it can be a social thing not unlike the Superbowl. Keep score with your friends. Compare techniques. Network. Socialize.

But for goodness sake, check them regularly for bites!