Posted on 06/23/2009 1:49:50 PM PDT by This Just In
15 years have come and gone almost 3 times now. They keep discovering new species of fish in the oceans.
Maybe Cousteau was thinking of another planet.
No thumbs.
Prof. Bonita Krillman.
Crystal Dearing, a graduate student
Anthropogenic Environmental Disasters at Scripps Institute of Oceanography.
“Gaia’s Revenge”
Dr. William Fishman
Naw.
The Nip's economy is worse than ours.
Swimming north? Could there be a Great White shark south of their position? Naw, it must be global warming.
“”They sounded more terrified than playful”, claimed Crystal Dearing, a graduate student working toward a degree in Anthropogenic Environmental Disasters at Scripps Institute of Oceanography. “They sounded distressed and fearful”.
The scientists, who perform their work aboard the research ship “Gaia’s Revenge” were noticeably shaken by the observation of the dolphin pod’s behavior. “We were performing our usual tasks — photographing and communing with the pod — when someone yelled, ‘Oh my God! They are travelling directly northward!’. We were stunned at the obvious implications of this unusual behavior”, related Ms. Dearing.”
Un-freakin’-believable! What a bunch of complete nincompoops!
Come to think of it the sucker was swimming due north. Hmmmmm.
Apparently Dolphins have never swam in that direction before. Only West, South, or East.
Missing in the article is how far and how long they swam north of course. Mentioned tracking, but not the results. What did they do after swimming North? Turn back South? What? Enquiring minds want to know!
Tragically, another pod that had been closely followed for seven years was decimated by a great white shark in 2003.
Maybe they were running from the shark?
My face is red! This is a good joke and like Fishman and Krillman I have been reeled in.
Yikes!!! Now there's an "Anthropogenic Environmental Disaster" even I can believe in.
Crystal Dearing, a graduate student working toward a degree in Anthropogenic Environmental Disasters at Scripps Institute of Oceanography. "They sounded distressed and fearful".
WTF!!!! How the FU** can she even pretend to know what a FU**ING dolphin is "feeling". Great science. BTW, isn't Crystal a Stripper name?
Maybe they just got tired of the patchouli stench in the water from all of that "communing" from the beach-hippie mothership.
Please tell me this is satire. Doesn't "Crystal Dearing" just sound way too much like a perfect stripper-name for that one breathless, but mythical Playboy centerfold who somehow actually got to study "Marine Biology" (instead learning the biology of Marines at the Hog Locker).
Going with the premiss that these are “possibly the smartest creatures on Earth”, then it’s easy to see the cause of the mysterious behavior.
The Dolphins recognized that they were near these Global warming nut’s and did what any of us would have done... get the heck away.
Hey, I’m open to consider the possibility. What do the water temperature readings say? How about what they say over an extended period of time?
Or, what about the food supply? Did the dolphins exhaust the food supply are are moving on? Is there more food up North?
How about some facts?
I wonder how many times Greenpeace tried to get the one in black... back into the water.
>>bottlenose dolphins, possibly the smartest creatures on Earth
>
>If they’re so smart why aren’t they building cities down there?
Oppositional thumbs.
See? Even when you put SATIRE in the heading, 95% still think it’s a real article.
Amusing, eh?
Orca alert! Flee north!
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