Then there is the preferred method for burying Islamic terrorists...face down and WRAPPED IN BACON...
I like the idea of being cremated and shot out of a cannon.
I do not know who first thought of it, but I read that it was the way Hunter S. Thompson wanted his body to be disposed of, and I thought the idea had merit.
My husband always tells me to wrap in a grass map and bury him on our property. I always reply I am not wasting money on a grass mat.
I thought you were buried face down so the rest of the world could kiss your @ss.
m, I really don’t think the dead care what position the body is. As that great philosopher once said, “He’s dead, Jim.”
Personally, I think it would be rather difficult to humiliate someone who is dead.
Why (and how) would they care?!
It was superstition mostly, anyone suspecting of becoming a vampire was buried face down, so when they awoke they would dig downwards instead of up to get out.
Okay, what the heck is a ‘green’ death?
I dunno. Why don’t you ask him?
Let’s have a post about clean, decent human beings:
Undertaker Morning.
Man Good Morning.
Undertaker What can I do for you, squire?
Man Um, well, I wonder if you can help me. You see, my mother has just died.
Undertaker Ah well, we can help you. We deal with stiffs.
Man What?
Undertaker Well, there’s three things we can do with your mum. We can bury her, burn her, or dump her.
Man Dump her?
Undertaker Dump her in the Thames.
Man What?
Undertaker Oh, did you like her?
Man Yes!
Undertaker Oh well, we won’t dump her, then. Well, what do you think? We can bury her or burn her.
Man Well, which do you recommend?
Undertaker Well, they’re both nasty. If we burn her, she gets stuffed in the flames, crackle, crackle, crackle, which is a bit of a shock if she’s not quite dead, but quick. (the audience starts booing) and then we give you handful of ashes, which you can pretend are hers.
Man Oh.
Undertaker Or, if we bury her she gets eaten up lots of weevils, and nasty maggots, (the booing increases) which as I said before is a bit of a shock if she’s not quite dead.
Man I see. Well, she’s definitely dead.
Undertaker Where is she?
Man She’s in this sack.
Undertaker Can I have a look? She looks quite young.
Man Yes, yes, she was.
Increasing protests from audience
Undertaker (calling) Fred!
Fred’s voice Yeah?
Undertaker I think we’ve got an eater.
Man What?
Another undertaker pokes his head round the door
Fred Right, I’ll get the oven on. (goes off)
Man Er, excuse me, um, are you suggesting eating my mother?
Undertaker Er ... Yeah. Not raw. Cooked.
Man What?
Undertaker Yes, roasted with a few french fries, broccoli, horseradish sauce ...
Man Well, I do feel a bit peckish.
Voice From Audience Disgraceful! Boo! (etc.)
Undertaker Great!
Man Can we have some parsnips?
Undertaker (calling) Fred - get some parsnips.
Man I really don’t think I should.
Undertaker Look, tell you what, we’ll eat her, if you feel a bit guilty about it after, we can dig a grave and you can throw up in it.
A section of the audience rises up in revolt and invades the set, remonstrating with the performers and banging the counter, etc., breaking up the sketch. Zoom away from them and into caption machine; roll credits. The National Anthem starts. The shouting stops. Mix through credits to show audience and everyone on set standing to attention. As the credits end, fade out.
Gotta get my glasses checked. I first read that as researchers included.
Probably just seeing what I wanted to...
It would save her a lot of money.
I always wanted to start “Plug ‘em, N Plant ‘em Burial Service.” For a low, low fee, we would drill a hole with a surplus electric company auger truck, then carefully dump your “loved one” in the hole head first, then fill up the hole.
It’s good for the environment, and saves money when mean old uncle Arthur passes on without a cent to his name.
Simple creation works for me...then it can be honestly said I spent my entire life making an ash of myself.
