OOOOH, HMMM, SHE LOOKA-LIKA-MAN!
Posted on 07/15/2009 2:32:26 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Father: Tell me your sins, my son.
Jerry: Well I should tell you that I’m Jewish.
Father: That’s no sin.
Jerry: Oh good. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about Dr. Whatley. I have a suspicion that he’s converted to Judaism just for the jokes.
Father: And this offends you as a Jewish person.
Jerry: No, it offends me as a comedian. And it’ll interest you that he’s also telling Catholic jokes.
Father: Well.
Jerry: And they’re old jokes. I mean, the Pope and Raquel Welch in a lifeboat.
Father: I haven’t heard that one.
Jerry: Oh, I’m sure you have. They’re out on the ocean and, yada yada yada, and she says, “Those aren’t buoys.” (Father starts laughing) Father...
Father: One second... Well, if it would make you feel better I could speak to Dr. Whatley. I have to go back and have a wisdom teeth removed.
Jerry: You know the difference between a dentist and a sadist don’t you?
Father: Um...
Jerry: Newer magazines.
Father: Now if you’ll excuse me.
If you’d like to be on or off, please FR mail me.
..................
Then again, she might be a Rastafarian.
Never before has it been more important for the rabbis to discourage a potential convert. Don’t do it, Britney. We need to keep our average IQ up there, and you’ll queer the curve.
Their obligation, but you assume she’s in contact with a Rabbi. As I noted earlier, I’ve met lots of Rastas who wear the Star of David, and lot’s of folk who just think it’s decoration.
Haven’t we inflicted enough on the Jews ?
Elaine: So now the “other” Lippman kissed me.
George: Well, sure. They’re Jewish, and you’re a shiksa.
Elaine: What?
George: It means a non-Jewish woman.
Elaine: I know what it means, but what does being a shiksa have to
do with it?
George: You’ve got ‘shiksappeal’. Jewish men love the idea of
meeting a woman that’s not like their mother.
Elaine: Oh, that’s insane.
George: I’ll tell you what’s insane: the price that I could get you
on a new desktop computer.
Elaine: I am not buying a computer from you.
George: There’s porn.
Elaine: (Pausing) Even so.
George: Damn it!
Elaine: Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Lippman. I-I’m very flattered that
you found me attractive enough to... lunge at me. Huh. But the only reason
you like me is because I’m a shiksa.
Lippman: That’s simply not true.
Elaine: If you weren’t Jewish, you wouldn’t be interested in me.
Lippman: You are wrong. I’ll prove it.
Elaine: Oh, no. Don’t!
Lippman: I renounce Judaism!
Elaine: Oy vey!
STE=Q
ROFL
That Yiddish saying seemed oddly apropos to the thread, lol.
But please, none of that Torah stuff. That's so 1980's.
LOL, I think one of their rituals is shaving their heads.
I literally burst out laughing when I saw it ..
Glad you enjoyed it!
The rastas are welcome to her. Belly buttons are not tznius, and bubbleheads are all too plentiful already.
I know about the difference, I was just funnin’.
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