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Why Cats Are Not Employed As Doctors
Movin' Meat ^ | 5/19/10 | Francesco

Posted on 05/21/2010 11:11:00 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows

Why Cats Are Not Employed As Doctors

• Valuable minutes lost in surgery as doctor furiously paws at nearby fly.

• While informing patient's family of their loss, doctor suddenly loses interest and walks off.

• In bid to become chief surgeon, doctor scent-marks entire hospital.

• Doctor refuses to respond to own name during code blue.

• Staff grows increasingly alarmed as doctor runs up and down hallway for no apparent reason.

• Sensing colleagues' growing dissatisfaction with his work, doctor curls up against a radiator and goes to sleep.

• Doctor raises hackles and bares teeth whenever new interns are introduced.

• Doctor loses medical license after licking self, instruments clean.

So what have we learned? That cats are best employed in service industries? Certainly. But more importantly, always listen for meows when entering a hospital. The life you save may very well be your own.

(Excerpt) Read more at allbleedingstops.blogspot.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: cat; kittyping
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1 posted on 05/21/2010 11:11:01 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows
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To: Slings and Arrows; Glenn; republicangel; Bahbah; Beaker; BADROTOFINGER; etabeta; asgardshill; ...

2 posted on 05/21/2010 11:12:15 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Just another day in Oceania.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

lol


3 posted on 05/21/2010 11:13:08 PM PDT by ConservativeMan55
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To: ConservativeMan55

4 posted on 05/21/2010 11:14:15 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Just another day in Oceania.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

dork! LOLOLOLOL


5 posted on 05/21/2010 11:15:09 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously... You'll never live through it.)
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To: Slings and Arrows; writer33

That is funny, I like that


6 posted on 05/21/2010 11:17:12 PM PDT by GeronL (Political Correctness Kills)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Because they make my eyes swell shut?


7 posted on 05/21/2010 11:25:16 PM PDT by aliquando (A Scout is T, L, H, F, C, K, O, C, T, B, C, and R.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Dr Cat sleeps 23 hours a day and the other hour goes crazy dashing under the furniture.

2 female Dr cats can’t be in the same room with each other to do surgery.


8 posted on 05/21/2010 11:26:35 PM PDT by lurk
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To: Slings and Arrows

Too Cute!


9 posted on 05/21/2010 11:33:00 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously... You'll never live through it.)
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To: lurk
Dr Cat sleeps 23 hours a day and the other hour goes crazy dashing under the furniture.

Only 23 hours?? Anything under 26-27 hours is grounds for an instant insomnia diagnosis.

10 posted on 05/21/2010 11:33:41 PM PDT by Bob
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To: lurk

Dr. Cat lies outside restroom door, waiting for occupant to emerge.


11 posted on 05/21/2010 11:34:39 PM PDT by Rennes Templar (Illegal immigration is destroying America, look what it's done to the White House)
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To: Slings and Arrows

sweet


12 posted on 05/21/2010 11:36:26 PM PDT by GOP Poet (Obama is an OLYMPIC failure.)
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To: aliquando

Depending on the field, that could be an advantage.


13 posted on 05/21/2010 11:37:56 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Just another day in Oceania.)
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To: Vendome

My reaction exactly.


14 posted on 05/21/2010 11:38:13 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Just another day in Oceania.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Go ahead. Make my day. You do know that cats can fly ... right? And that's Doctor Cat to you ...

15 posted on 05/21/2010 11:39:33 PM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Slings and Arrows

just toooooohh cute! ;-)


16 posted on 05/21/2010 11:42:50 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously... You'll never live through it.)
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To: Bob

or unless said puddy is at the reloading press crankin’ out some ‘roll yer owns’!!!!!


17 posted on 05/21/2010 11:44:36 PM PDT by bobby.223
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To: Slings and Arrows

Mine are constantly giving me “catscans” when I’m not feeling well. ;-)


18 posted on 05/21/2010 11:47:03 PM PDT by PA Engineer (Liberate America from the occupation media.)
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To: PA Engineer

19 posted on 05/21/2010 11:53:52 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Just another day in Oceania.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
LOL, That picture has been saved to my computer.
20 posted on 05/21/2010 11:56:42 PM PDT by The Cajun (Mind numbed robot , ditto-head, Hannitized, Levinite)
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To: The Cajun

same here! flat out priceless!


21 posted on 05/22/2010 12:10:39 AM PDT by bobby.223
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To: bobby.223
The wife and I have 7 of the little "Fur Balls" running around the house (Yes, I know we are crazy).
My cat pic file is probably up to 50 now ;^)
22 posted on 05/22/2010 12:19:48 AM PDT by The Cajun (Mind numbed robot , ditto-head, Hannitized, Levinite)
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To: The Cajun

Only seven?

I’ve had as many as twelve in a 2-bedroom apartment. Okay, okay, Mama cat had 9 kittens but I found good homes for all of them. That was thirty-three years ago.

Today we have only nine cats and two dogs.


23 posted on 05/22/2010 12:28:35 AM PDT by SatinDoll (NO Foreign Nationals as our President!!)
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To: Slings and Arrows
Cats as doctors! That's ridiculous.

Everybody knows that cats are MUCH better in professions such as aviary management, fitness training (excepting aqua aerobics), and human behavioral analysis and therapy.

24 posted on 05/22/2010 12:38:56 AM PDT by Finny
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To: SatinDoll
Today we have only nine cats and two dogs.

We up until 2 years ago had 8 dogs (built a 200 foot by 150 foot dog pen and one heck of a big dog house). Mother stray showed up with 7 puppies.
The last puppy passed away 2 years ago at 14 years old.
That was really tough on my wife and me. Just doesn't seem right to get another dog still.

25 posted on 05/22/2010 12:42:45 AM PDT by The Cajun (Mind numbed robot , ditto-head, Hannitized, Levinite)
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To: The Cajun

You have my utmost sympathy.

Many years ago we had a dog, an American Cocker Spaniel, who was a prince among dogs. Can’t help myself here, as Rufus was truly an exceptional companion, a great dog, and I will mourn his passing forever. That was eleven years ago.

Six years later I decided that I wanted another spaniel, one that would grow old with me. My family tends to be long-lived, so I didn’t worry about outliving a puppy coming to live with me in my early 50s.

After extensive research I decided on a field-bred English Springer Spaniel as the ideal dog. They don’t have the health problems of an American Cocker or bench-bred English Springer, and are far more common than one would suspect.

By chance, a year or so later, I came across a handbill advertising exactly this kind of puppy for $75. As 7-week old puppy she came to live with us and has been an absolute joy. Now 5-years old, she is my constant companion and I’ve never regretted my decision. Even the cats love her!

I heartily recommend you reconsider. Most likely you will not regret a choice if made wisely. There are also many organizations that deal with finding suitable homes for abandonned pure-bred dogs - I recommend them as “angels” dedicated to saving animals. They can be found on the internet.


26 posted on 05/22/2010 1:00:19 AM PDT by SatinDoll (NO Foreign Nationals as our President!!)
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To: Slings and Arrows
"So what have we learned? That cats are best employed in service industries? Certainly."

Yeah, right...


27 posted on 05/22/2010 1:13:55 AM PDT by Semper Mark (Nemo me impune lacessit.)
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To: SatinDoll
Maybe one day we will get another, but it was rough watching the mother (Cheetah) pass and then the puppies grow older and pass. They were large dogs, mostly Lab. The last one Becky was probably 110 pounds. Had a 400 gallon Rubbermaid Kettle set up in their yard so they could take a dip whenever they wanted to.
You never forget them.
28 posted on 05/22/2010 1:23:21 AM PDT by The Cajun (Mind numbed robot , ditto-head, Hannitized, Levinite)
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To: Markos33

You can’t has cheezburger. You has a hotdog.


29 posted on 05/22/2010 1:44:40 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Just another day in Oceania.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

ha, ha - may I add one? Dr coughs up hair ball during open heart surgery and compromises the clean room...


30 posted on 05/22/2010 2:15:32 AM PDT by kickme (...at the window watching...waiting for my NUKalert to start chirpin'....)
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To: kickme

Good reason.


31 posted on 05/22/2010 2:45:55 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Just another day in Oceania.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
Another reason cats make bad doctors:

The only anesthetic Dr. Cat will permit during surgery is...catnip!


32 posted on 05/22/2010 3:15:21 AM PDT by SonOfDarkSkies (Opportunity is missed...because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work--Thomas Edison)
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To: Slings and Arrows

33 posted on 05/22/2010 3:40:31 AM PDT by MaryFromMichigan
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To: Slings and Arrows
"You can’t has cheezburger."


34 posted on 05/22/2010 4:33:24 AM PDT by Semper Mark (Nemo me impune lacessit.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Doctor winds around legs begging for attention, tripping injured patients.

Doctor jumps up on sterile instrument tray looking for treats.


35 posted on 05/22/2010 5:16:48 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: Slings and Arrows

***• Doctor refuses to respond to own name during code blue.***

Is time to sit and stare at corner where all cosmic answers are imbedded.


36 posted on 05/22/2010 6:01:17 AM PDT by kitkat (Obama hates us. Well, maybe a LOT of Kenyans do.)
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To: TheOldLady

Sounds like a cat. Or a psych resident.


37 posted on 05/22/2010 8:25:21 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Just another day in Oceania.)
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To: kitkat

Sssssh! It’s not nice to give away kitteh secrets!


38 posted on 05/22/2010 8:27:07 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Just another day in Oceania.)
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To: kitkat

“Is time to sit and stare at corner where all cosmic answers are imbedded.”

AHA! So that is what my kitty has been doing!


39 posted on 05/22/2010 9:33:15 AM PDT by jocon307 (It's the spending, stupid.)
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To: Liberty Valance

Awww! Sooo beautiful!!


40 posted on 05/22/2010 10:13:05 AM PDT by gimme1ibertee ("In a time of universal deceit,telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act"-George Orwell)
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To: Markos33

I love these pics!


41 posted on 05/22/2010 10:13:58 AM PDT by gimme1ibertee ("In a time of universal deceit,telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act"-George Orwell)
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To: Slings and Arrows
That cats are best employed in service industries?

Yeah, like the Social Security office or the DMV.

42 posted on 05/22/2010 10:22:40 AM PDT by Rocky (REPEAL IT!)
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To: Slings and Arrows
I know plenty of perfectly capable cat doctors.


43 posted on 05/22/2010 11:28:12 AM PDT by Lady Jag (Double your income... Fire the government)
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To: Markos33

Some days you teh kitteh, some days you teh cheezburger.


44 posted on 05/22/2010 11:32:52 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Just another day in Oceania.)
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To: jocon307; kitkat

The Naming of Cats

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn’t just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey—
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter—
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that’s particular,
A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover—
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

—T. S. Eliot


45 posted on 05/22/2010 11:34:28 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Just another day in Oceania.)
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To: JustAmy; Billie; MEG33; jaycee; Kitty Mittens; Aquamarine; GodBlessUSA; Mama_Bear; The Mayor; ...
Some days I can't win for losin!

Weinie


46 posted on 05/22/2010 11:38:49 AM PDT by lonestar (Better Obama picks his nose than our pockets!)
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To: MaryFromMichigan

47 posted on 05/22/2010 11:43:31 AM PDT by Lady Jag (Double your income... Fire the government)
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To: lonestar; tiapam; MEG33; JustAmy; ConorMacNessa; All

Weinei, everyone knows that dogs make MUCH better doctors!
Did'ja ever hear of a cat Rocket Scientist or cat Brain Surgeon?

I didn't think so!


48 posted on 05/22/2010 12:08:52 PM PDT by yorkie
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To: yorkie

LOL, Yorkie!!!!


49 posted on 05/22/2010 12:38:26 PM PDT by tiapam
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To: yorkie

LOL, Yorkie!!!!


50 posted on 05/22/2010 12:39:51 PM PDT by tiapam
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