Posted on 03/30/2011 1:28:23 PM PDT by Niuhuru
Maybe it’s just me, but I read the whole article and didn’t see where her life was so hard that she deserves credit for “courage” or anything like that. I can only think that people who believe that she had it so rough must have had some pretty charmed lives, themselves. I’ve known dozens of people with far worse sob stories than hers who seemed to have handled their burdens far better.
I read that she said prior to dying that Elizabeth Taylor wanted more than anything to see Richard (Burton, presumably) and her mother and father, so I’d take this with a grain of salt.
Apparently, she adored her parents till the very end. Good for her.
Abuse comes in many forms, none of it good. If you understand the devastation it can cause to a child, the article makes perfect sense.
They’re talking about how she was abused into entertaining by her abusive mother, they aren’t blaming her for it. If you read it carefully, such behavior was ingrained in her by her MOTHER who taught her to act a way on cue, beating her nonstop until she did and when she became famous and wanted ot quit acting, it was her mother who terrorized her right back into it.
Abuse is abuse. She was badly abused into ‘performing’ and any abuse is bad to anyone and she doesn’t deserve to be diminished just because she couldn’t handle it well, as if she was supposed to.
” Elizabeth’s future became the primary focus of Sara’s life, and Francis became a hen-pecked husband who was rarely allowed any time with their precious jewel.
Meanwhile, she coached their daughter relentlessly, forcing her to continue even when she was exhausted. Finally, the little girl was able to cry on cue — a talent that was to prove useful when she landed a movie contract soon afterwards.”
“One night, when she was 16, she confessed to her parents that she was sick and tired of making movies, and just wanted to be a regular child.
Sara, though, took her daughter’s cry for help as a sign of ingratitude.
‘But you’re not a regular child, and thank God for that,’ she told her. ‘You have a responsibility, Elizabeth. Not just to this family, but to the country now, the whole world.’”
Point made. Her mother abused her badly and her father sat by and let it happen. Perhaps her unending love of her parents is what caused her to act self destructively. It’s okay to hate the abusive parent and okay to hate the enabler who sat back and let it happen.
yeah, I read it. At the moment, she’s a “victim”. In a while, 6 months or so, she’ll be portrayed as tough and mean to others when things don’ go her way because that’s how she was raised. And later she’ll just be an example of a terrible and spoiled human being.
Some people deserve it, but not this woman. My only real regret is that I never got to meet her.
“Apparently, she adored her parents till the very end. Good for her.”
Maybe adoring parents was teh thing that made her so self destructive; people need ot be taught that it’s okay to hate your abusive parents, hate what they did to you. I read “The Toxic Parent” and the author writes that forgiveness doesn’t have to be given if the victim isn’t ready to do that. It’s okay to not frogive and only do it when the patient is ready, not the parent or the therapist.
The Bible says something very different, and I think I'll go with it says over some author who thinks they have the answers.
Hate will consume you. I have a very abusive, violent, drug addicted, psychiatrically interesting parent. I have no hate, though. It's hard to rise above hate, but it's what we're supposed to do. It's what we're commanded to do. It isn't a suggestion.
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins
You don't have to hate the person to avoid them or their toxic behavior.
Forgiveness is for the victim as much as it is for the aggressor.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times
Life isn't fair or easy. You don't have the right to hate just because someone did wrong by you.
I should have been more specific, anger. All I know is that I want to be sure that I’m ready to forgive on my terms and do it because I sincerely mean it.
Don’t know what point you’re making with this. What I am saying is that anyone who thinks this is a particularly hard level of abuse should get down on their knees and thank God for the charmed life they were given.
Thank you for clarifying.
I found that the person in my life wasn’t worth the anger.
I tried to understand the “whys”, but I really don’t and probably never will. I chalk it up to something in their background and makeup, not mine, and let it go. I love them as a person, I respect and honor them for bringing me into the world, but that’s where it has to end. I harbor no thoughts about a reconciliation or a relationship in the future.
I can’t say that I have a lot of emotion one way or the other, except sorrow that it is the way it is, and regret that it couldn’t be better somehow. I do think that I did my very best and tried my hardest, which helps.
We’re asked to forgive and honor, and that is what I try to do. I can’t take the next step, though, and engage in a relationship. I’m not sure that we’re called to, first of all. And secondly, she is a destructive force in my life if she’s involved. I have a husband and the family we’ve created, and I have obligations to them first and foremost.
I believe that we can forgive but not forget. We need to respect ourselves enough to stay safe and sane for our own sakes and for our families.
I hope you find a way to forgive on your terms. I will keep you in my prayers.
No, I think you have to extend your imagination a bit. Clearly, her mother pushed Liz to the point of illness in order to get the validation that she - the mother - clearly did not have in her own life.
Don’t be so literal. I said “psychic” Munchausen’s Syndrome By Proxy, which it very obviously is.
I don't know about that. After close to thirty years, we're still at the insatiable lust stage.
I see now.
Thanks. Cutting the person out is best and with your family, you can in some ways redo certain aspects of your life and I am sure that your loving family more than makes up for it. Cutting them out and being indifferent is best.
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