New Alphabet

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[BenLurkin]

A's for arthritis;

B's the bad back,

C's the chest pains,perhaps car-di-ac?

D is for dental decay and decline,

E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!

F is for fissures and fluid retention,

G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;

I for incisions with scars you can show.

J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,

K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L 's for libido, what happened to sex?

M is for memory, I forget what comes next.

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;

O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?

R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,

T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!

U is for urinary; troubles with flow;

V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.

W for worry, now what's going 'round?

X is for X ray, and what might be found.

Y for another year I'm left here behind,

Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!

[Sacajaweau]

P is either for pill or p*** on it.

[DallasDeb]

I resemble these remarks.

[MHGinTN]

Hmmm, this tells me I should stop writing ... using all them negative letters only adds to the problems ... problems? Have we got a problem here at FR? 8in best litella voice8 'Never mind.'

[Skepolitic]

Humor for the AARP crowd ... not that there are any conservative AARP members any more.

[wizr]

Thanks! Just put it back on the eMail.

[ErnBatavia]

I resemble these remarks.

Or, as they might say on the streets of San Francisco if jumped from behind: "I resent that insemination"...