Posted on 06/04/2011 2:23:31 PM PDT by Feline_AIDS
I think whatever the marrying couple and their parents want/can afford, is their decision. I grew up wanting to be a princess and the only time I was able to have that was my wedding. It was a magical time (and I wasn’t some entitled witch). My husband still jokes that the wedding was all about me and my mom and he was just an after thought. He wasn’t of course, but yeah, his opinions didn’t matter all that much, lol. We were having the wedding we wanted and he was along for the ride.
Now he has four daughters and even he’s looking forward to their weddings since he doesn’t have to be bothered with any of the planning and just enjoy whatever his girls want. He jokes all the time to them that the only people who have any say are them and me.
The marriage is the most important part and I still believe most know that. I know I did and I’m confident my daughters will too.
Weddings are fun. It’s a happy time. Even with all the bullshit that goes with them.
As a bridesmaid, I went along with whatever the bride wanted and knew I could opt out at any time. I didn’t have to accept the honor of being a bridesmaid (except for the time I had to for family...my Mom’s niece, my cousin, bridezilla back in the 80s when I was in college and suffered through her ridiculous demands and nastiness). Sometimes we do stuff for family harmony :)
My husband and I had a great time at our ceremony and at our reception. My parents and close family and friends had a great time. Nothing else matters :)
I’m looking forward to my daughters weddings.
My husband is hoping all four of our daughters elope, lol. I’m hoping we get one princess wedding.
I don’t think Melas knocked you. We all have our tastes.
I got lucky, or not, with four girls. I’m sure one of them will have the big princess wedding I had. One may elope (and I will be pissed, lol). One may have a wedding in our backyard and a big party like our football parties. It’s all good.
But knocking big princess weddings...as the OP sorta did...is gonna bring opposing comments.
Spending $1100 on my gown back in 1989...it was cheap back then, but reading posts here, that’s considered a lot for a wedding gown. In my area, my wedding/reception was on the low side.
Interesting and factual post.
Now, you’re just like the OP, lol. It’s a rant. A good one that provides an opportunity for discussion.
Bravo! Our wedding cost a total of $500 25 years ago. We both went to JC Penney outlet for clothing,got married in the juges office and had a reception afterwards.Food provided by relatives ala pot luck and we are still happy. No reason for anyone to spend thousands they don’t have on one day.You aren’t royality and you are not a princess get over it.It is foolish to go in debt for one day.
Married in a formal Catholic Mass.
Formal reception.
Bride wore a beaded, silk white gown with a cathedral train. Headpiece and veil was custom made.
Reception was a sit down dinner of prime rib and lobster.
Amd open bar. We, my husband, parents and I all insisted on open bar.
Cocktail hour prior to reception.
Reception cost my parents at least $10,000.
My gown, paid for by me, $1100.
Married to same person, and four kids, 21 1/2 years later.
OMG I’ve read there. Many of the ladies I know online are the ones sewing the dream dresses and have to deal with these Bridezilla’s.I don’t know how some of them do it I’d knock some of them out for the stunts they try to pull!
Uh says you.
This knokcing of weddings is hilarious.
I was a princess to my Dad throughout my life and a princess on my wedding day.
My four daughters are princesses to their Dad. Hopefully, one of them will have a formal wedding.
And who said anything about going into debt for a wedding? My wedding was free and clear. My Mom was like that...paid for everything in cash. I paid for my dress, headpiece/veil, in cash. We paid for everything in cash.
Married 21 year, 22 in October. :)
#11) Immodest wedding gowns. Why do brides feel compelled to have strapless dresses? Instead of being dressed to make a solemn promise before God and witnesses, they are dressed as if it were a Playboy interview.
Yes you’ve repeated the story about 4 times during this.I think weddings that cost that much are siilly the money could be better spent on something lke a downpayment on a house.Most of the people today are spending upwards of $30,000 + and are not paying cash. I’ve been married 25 years and even if I would’ve had that kind of money I would’ve still thought it silly. It’s fine you think what you think but I’m much more practical than that.
I especially liked your comment about how since it makes you mad, and it’s more painful for you, that’s all that matters. Lot’s of projection there :)
#1 Agree. If already living together, why the big wedding. But, ain’t my call. As for saving $75.00, I could always not attend or send a gift.
#2 Agree. Bridesmaids dresses usually can’t be worn after the wedding. We all know this. We’ve always known this. I will never wear all the pink frou frou bridesmaids dresses I bought for those weddings. I was able to cut one down an wear it and two of my bridesmaids did the same for the black and silver dress they chose for my wedding.
#3 It’s form. And looks good in pictures. Hey, do it different for your wedding.
#4 It’s so easy to say “no thanks.” Try it and then you won’t have to suffer through the tacky gift. In some cases, the bride and groom give a gift that’s sentimental to them and hopefully to their bridesmaids and groomsmen.
#5 Some people like to write their own vows. My husband and I weren’t one of those. We did the traditional vows.
#6 I’m all for open bar and hate when I go to a wedding where there’s no booze at all and appreciate when there’s an open bar. I couldn’t care less about the food. I’m there to party and eat beforehand. It is nice when the dinner rocks. It’s just not my main focus. I want to have fun. Before I was married and after I was married with kids. Food is the last thing on my mind.
#7 I give a cash gift (gasp, horrors). I don’t give a damn where the newly married couple are planning on honeymooning or who’s paying for it. If they use my cash gift to fund it, whatever. In this area, we always give cash gifts for weddings, Communions, Confirmations, graduations. Well, for everything.
#8 Oh if the bride and her family can afford her being a princess for one day, then she is a princess. Old or young bitter people need not stamp an ok on that. It ain’t about you. Since when were we privy to the newly married couple’s house plans? I go to a wedding to celebrate the union between two people who love each other and making a committment to each other, and a Sacrament in some cases. What they do after that is none of my business.
#9 Food isn’t my main interest. I’m happy to get a decent meal. More than happy when that meal is incredibly delicious. I’d spit out the caviar too. Can’t blame the ring bearer for that.
#10 I have a wonderful picture of me, at my reception, with a bottle of beer and a cigarette. Dancing. I didn’t get drunk but I was buzzed and had a blast. How the guest got home wasn’t my responsibility...but an fyi...my parents rented a bus...so there ;)
#11 Oh we rented the limo so we could party so no one would have to worry about how much we drank...lmao! You ain’t paying for it so why do you care, and what business is it of yours anyway? Bitterness is so unbecoming.
So dear bitter guest, it ain’t about you. Don’t be a bridesmaid, don’t attend the wedding. You have that choice. If you choose to attend, have a good time. Or not. We don’t really care as long as our close family and friends have fun.
Really? Are you stalking me?
Pretty sure I haven’t repeated the story 4 times in this thread. You got issues?
Ahh...we had the money for a down payment on the house. Sorry we didn’t consult you first. RME.
Well goody for you. I’ve been married for close to 22 years and still like the princess wedding I had. Paid for in cash.
KMA
And it doesn’t strike you as being the least bit condescending to say that she was in your words, “silly” for having a wedding that she obviously cherishes to this day?
If I’ve gotten anything out of this thread is that it’s a more emotional topic than I would have thought beforehand. Two very different schools of thought here, and never the twain shall meet.
I’ve heard of one such example, and I’m proud to say that I know the father in question. Mother and daughter began planning the wedding, when future son-in-law got dollar signs in eyes. He approached her father and told him that he and my friends daughter had decided that they’d rather have the money that my friend had been setting aside for his daughters wedding since she was a child. My friend told him to kiss off, that it wasn’t her money, it was his money and he was going to use it for his daughter’s wedding, hopefully to someone else. Luckily, it was an eye opener for the daughter, and she kicked him and his money grubbing ways to the curb.
This is one of those things. My wife thinks strapless gowns are immodest as well. I on the other hand grew up with truly immodest people, so it just tickles my funny bone to hear things like that. First wedding I can actually remember, the groom wore a “Free Sonny” t-shirt and the bride wore a leather vest with nothing underneath as a top, and she lost even that for a time at the reception. So me, I think strappless gowns are fine.
>>> There IS such a thing as a wedding costing less than $3,000 including gown, rings and reception for 80.
Are you insane? $3000 wouldn’t even cover two passes of the C130 dropping chrysanthemum petals on the wedding.
Fortunately, no one on here or any site could ever diminish my childhood, wedding, marriage, life. I had wonderful parents who I miss daily. My husband, pita that he is at times, is a great guy. ;) Gotta give the guy credit, he lives with 5 females, and his 4 daughters have him wrapped around their fingers (just like me and my Dad). I’m the bad cop mostly, lol.
Wedding threads on FR always run in the extreme. I could joke about the excess when it comes to weddings, and there are excesses but it aint my money so it ain’t my decision or business.
Weddings are a very emotional topic. You must be a guy :) Whenever the kids and I discuss weddings, or prom, or anything involving money, he always says to them “that’s between your mom and you, I just write the check.” I think he gets off easy, lol.
My parents gave me the option of a formal wedding or the cash (for a down payment on a house). My Mom had been saving and as the only daughter, I had the choice. I wanted a princess wedding (they paid for the reception and back then it was close to 10K. They hosted and paid for the Serenade (it’s a south philly thing...big party the night before the wedding). The groom’s parents are supposed to pay for the rehearsal dinner (my husband’s parents wouldn’t pay for any booze/bar bill).
Anyway, we paid for everthing else: dress, limo, DJ, flowers, church donation, pastor donation, invitations, etc.
I would never slam someone for how they spent their money, or the gift of their parents money.
I’m glad I had the wedding I did. It’s a memory that I cherish. I hope I can give my girls the wedding of their dreams, whatever those dreams are.
Ive already told them, we’re paying room/board for college (the two in college got academic scholarships so we don’t have tuition) and two more to go, lol. Give us a few years on the wedding thing ;)
I’m not a fan of strapless gowns. Being a D cup, we need something to hold it up. ;)
I’m just not a fan for the most part. Although, some rock. I had a very princessy gown, lol. My kids say it was too frou frou.
I don’t think or care really if a gown is immodest (I have no doubt my wedding gown was considered immodest as it was a bit low cut). Lots of cleavage.
Prom dreses for my kids...kill me now. Mostly everything is strapless.
Contrary to popular belief here (on some of these threads) not all current fashion is immoral or immodest or slutty.
“...when future son-in-law got dollar signs in eyes.”
I was a future son-in-law 23 years ago. I grew up being a busboy at our Midwest church cleaning up the plates and eating leftover meatballs and potato salad in the church basement reception after weddings. (And memorial services).
I made one comment to my future wife (raised and lived in NJ) about how fancy the wedding was getting to be and was it really needed. She told me “My dad gave us a budget (her mom and her), I’m his only daughter, and this is how we do it in New Jersey”. Looking back I see that it wasn’t a fancy wedding by East Coast standards at all. But to a midwest kid, $38? per guest at the nearby resort/lodge/dining hall was quite a bit much compared to meatballs in the church basement!
This is one of those times where I know I should keep my opionions to myself, but I’m not going to listen to that voice.
I’ve long suspected, now bordering on conviction, that a woman’s objections to immodesty in others is directly proportional to her perception of her own attractiveness. Women who like the way they look, don’t seem to be all that judgemental. Like you, they tend to understand that a little cleavage or a little thigh isn’t the end of the world, and might even be fun.
Women who don’t believe they are attractive, for good reason, or for not, tend to scream the loudest about modest dress. I think they subconsciously act in the hope that if the better looking women were covered up, they’d have some sort of parity that only Vonnegut could appreciate.
And then there are some of us that didn’t have to choose between a wedding of our dreams and a house. We were thankful for whatever our parents gave to us, from their hard, blue collar work.
My parents helped fund their kids college educations. And, they helped fund their weddings, and in my case, paid for most of it.
My parents grew up during the Depression, dirt poor, and my Father was a WWII Vet so you can kiss my ass with your class warfare crap.
Nice shot at the end. I bow to your “practicalness.” RME LOL
Again, KMA.
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