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Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder: Your other half's not as attractive as you think
The Daily Mail (UK) ^ | August 8, 2011 | Fiona MacRae

Posted on 08/09/2011 7:56:01 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Love really is blind when it comes to physical flaws, it would seem.

Research suggests that we view our loved ones through rose-tinted glasses that overlook the crooked noses, bulging tummies or other attributes that might put others off.

As a result, husbands and wives think their other halves are more attractive than they really are.

The phenomenon could help explain some apparently physically mis-matched couples such as the glamorous Beyonce and Jay-Z, the striking Lara Stone and David Walliams, or the statuesque Sophie Dahl and the diminutive Jamie Cullum.

The ‘positive illusion’ theory comes from researchers who asked 70 couples to rate their other halves for attractiveness.

Questions included how attractive their husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend was to the opposite sex, and how they rated compared with others of the same age. The answers were kept confidential to prevent any partners taking umbrage.

Some of those taking part also rated photos of their partners. In addition, members of the public judged the looks of all 140 men and women taking part. The results revealed that couples view their other halves as being better looking than they really are.

Even asking them to rate pictures of their partners did not give them a reality check, the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships reports.

With previous studies finding that we view our loved ones as being kinder and brainier than they actually are, it does seem that love is blind in all sorts of ways.

The researchers at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands said: ‘During the course of a romantic relationship, partners will frequently uncover sources of negativity or conflict that may raise the fear that their partner is not the “right” person after all.

‘Such doubts about the partner are troublesome because negativity typically surfaces when the individuals have already invested in their relationship.

‘In order to reach some resolution between their hopes and doubts, and sustain a sense of security, partners often weave an elaborate fictitious story that both embellishes a partner’s virtues and minimises his or her faults.

‘By means of these positive illusions, partners may enhance their sense of security, overstate the case of commitment and derogate alternative partners, thus stabilising their long-term bond.’

Being blind to a partner’s physical faults can make it easier to take criticisms about them with a pinch of salt and make it easier to resist the charms of the office Lothario.

But having inflated ideas about your partner’s desirability can also cause jealousy, as well as lead to people staying in unhappy marriages.

Those studied were relatively young and had been together on average for just two and a half years.

The researchers said that more work is needed to see if those in long marriages are still blind to their partner’s physical flaws.

They said: ‘It is possible that positive illusions are much stronger in the beginning of the relationship when partners are still in love and tend to idealise each other strongly.

‘Likewise, positive illusions may be stronger when people are younger and, as a consequence, relatively attractive.’


TOPICS: Science; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: attraction; beauty; love; relationships
Photos in original.
1 posted on 08/09/2011 7:56:04 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

No linkie in postie.


2 posted on 08/09/2011 7:57:27 PM PDT by Yo-Yo (Is the /sarc tag really necessary?)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
It's easier being single.

But my dogs always seem to be the cute ones....

3 posted on 08/09/2011 8:00:16 PM PDT by MountainDad (Support your local Militia)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

As I recall, Jung said this many years ago.


4 posted on 08/09/2011 8:02:16 PM PDT by Citizen Tom Paine (An old sailor sends)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

H. L. Mencken

5 posted on 08/09/2011 8:03:23 PM PDT by Huck
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

It’s less a case of love being blind than beauty being only skin deep.

It’s sad the researchers didn’t seem to understand that.


6 posted on 08/09/2011 8:03:23 PM PDT by Psycho_Bunny (Public employee unions are the barbarian hordes of our time.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I thought it was “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.”


7 posted on 08/09/2011 8:03:59 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

My ex wife was a real knockout when we married, but she let herself go after awhile, so I got rid of her.


8 posted on 08/09/2011 8:07:42 PM PDT by umgud
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder: Your other half's not as attractive as you think

Only "researchers" see only the physical.

People in a relationship see beyond the physical, by definition.

Only Leftists, looking for ways to split up loving relationships, would try to think of ways to convince people to doubt the beauty they perceive in each other's hearts, negate it from their perception, and re-perceive those they love as "flawed" or "ugly" based on the researchers rules of interpretation.

Evil is where you find it.

9 posted on 08/09/2011 8:08:12 PM PDT by Talisker (History will show the Illuminati won the ultimate Darwin Award.)
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To: Yo-Yo; Admin Moderator

Oh crappie. Could somebody please add the linkie? Thanks.


10 posted on 08/09/2011 8:09:56 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (It's the Tea Party's fault!)
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The Freepathon is still on. Please donate today.

11 posted on 08/09/2011 8:11:55 PM PDT by RedMDer (Abolish FReepathons. Be a monthly donor.)
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To: Yo-Yo; Admin Moderator
Linkie
12 posted on 08/09/2011 8:12:29 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (It's the Tea Party's fault!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

It might be true..I just stare at women’s chests.


13 posted on 08/09/2011 8:15:34 PM PDT by max americana (FUBO NATION 2012 FK BARAK)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

My wife’s other half is great looking and intelligent, to boot.


14 posted on 08/09/2011 8:21:56 PM PDT by irishtenor (Everything in moderation, however, too much whiskey is just enough... Mark Twain)
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To: max americana
They'll just think your head is bowed because you are a subservient abused husband.

Chin up! Eyes straight!

15 posted on 08/09/2011 8:26:00 PM PDT by Celtic Cross (The brain is the weapon; everything else is just accessories. --FReeper Joe Brower)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

And the opposite is true about divorced spouses.


16 posted on 08/09/2011 8:30:34 PM PDT by Age of Reason
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

All I know is that I have a really hard time having an eye to eye conversation with my wife. The rest of her is terribly distracting.


17 posted on 08/09/2011 8:39:01 PM PDT by lurk
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Mr. Gun is an adonis....and always will be.


18 posted on 08/09/2011 8:39:04 PM PDT by anniegetyourgun
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
It makes zero sense to say that my wife is less attractive than I think she is...or more.

I haven't a clue as to what women see in men...never have had.

I think I have an idea what men see in women. Therefore, I can be confident in saying any married man who isn't married to the most beautiful woman God ever created must have been blind drunk when he too his vows. Either that or he's an idiot.

That's one of the freebies God said we could take from the Garden when we were evicted. He made it possible for every man on earth, when he connects, to connect to the most gorgeous lass extant. When any man fails to open that gift, it's wasted.

19 posted on 08/09/2011 8:43:17 PM PDT by stevem
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To: stevem

I have always believed (going back to the 1950s) that a man looks for a woman who probably resembles his mother as he remembers her from early childhood, while a woman decides, at a certain time in her life, to marry - - and takes whatever is immediately available. (Well, it happened to me).


20 posted on 08/09/2011 8:50:05 PM PDT by 19th LA Inf
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Either this clown is wrong or there are a lot of people lying about my wife!


21 posted on 08/09/2011 8:52:27 PM PDT by dalereed (uity wise!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Reminds me of the movie, “The Other Guys” where Will Ferrel thinks his wife is the old lady, and his partner can’t believe she is attracted to him :>)


22 posted on 08/09/2011 9:28:54 PM PDT by irishtenor (Everything in moderation, however, too much whiskey is just enough... Mark Twain)
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To: 19th LA Inf

Sorry. I married the exact opposite of my mother in every way except both were physical beauties when young....my 65 yr. old wife has the figure of a teen (size 4 after 8 kids), while my mother has packed on the lbs. as she’s aged. I love my mother - but I don’t like her....selfish, self-centered, oblivious to needs of others, spoiled, stingy.

And I’m the polar opposite of my wife’s dad as well.


23 posted on 08/09/2011 9:36:37 PM PDT by Arlis (- Virginia loghome/woods-dweller/Jesus lovin'/Bible-totin'/"gun-clinger")
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To: Psycho_Bunny

Yup.

Mine is hairy, scary and ~nowhere~ near a ‘pretty boy’ [had one of those once...turned out to be worthless wife beater] but I wouldn’t trade my man for a hundred Tom Sellecks.

I look at him and see a darkly beautiful guardian angel.

Tonight in WalMart, some jackass asked hubby if I was his daughter.

If I’d heard it happening, [before “dad” took care of him] I’d have gut-hooked that maggot right there, much as I ripped the creep at a biker party who made a “Beauty & The Beast” crack, years ago.

[as if that fat wimpy slob had any room to talk..or a snowball’s chance in Hell]

For all that he’s not “pretty”, even after all these years I have to be watchful for the women who are charmed by his incredible “presence”.

“Looks” ain’t squat.

Pure animal magnetism trumps that, for square.

18 years later and I still go weak in the knees.

[even though I’m notoriously impossible to impress]

:)


24 posted on 08/09/2011 10:48:28 PM PDT by Salamander (Can't sleep...clowns will eat me.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Maybe they simply know better than to criticize their spouse.


25 posted on 08/09/2011 10:50:07 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Well after over fifty years of marriage to the same great gal, I have no disillusions as to how she now looks. But, I also know I have no disillusions about myself either.

She is still the love of my life and apple of my eye and hope I am of hers.

26 posted on 08/09/2011 11:48:44 PM PDT by Sea Parrot (Obama may not be a natural born citizen, but there is no denying that he is a natural born liar.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Try telling that to Michael Douglas.


27 posted on 08/10/2011 4:59:26 AM PDT by tal hajus ("Thank you sir. May I have another?" GOP)
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To: Psycho_Bunny

Even as a young woman/teenager I was never attracted to a pretty face. Good looks are a dime a dozen.

When I first met my husband I thought he was a neanderthal and an idiot. I had no interest in him. He swore way too much.

We were in the same group and I finally had the opportunity to get to know him. Very quickly, I realized that I’d misjudged him and began to see him for the wonderful person that he is. Once I saw the inner beauty, I allowed myself to be swayed by the exterior and, to me, he truly is the most attractive man that I know.

But when I look at him, I don’t see the wrinkles. I see the man who sat by my bedside, unmoving, for 18 hours straight after I had surgery. I see the wonderful father. I see the humble strength of a man who never brags, but simply gives 100% to everything that he does.

Today is our 21st anniversary and I am so grateful to be married to this beautiful man. Yes, in my eyes, he’s an eleven! :-)


28 posted on 08/10/2011 6:58:03 AM PDT by Marie (I agree with everything that Rick Perry is saying. I just wish that *he* did. (NO to Bush II))
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To: Salamander

A woman glows when she know she is truly and honestly loved!

(Celebrating 21 years with my deliciously ‘hairy beast’ today... I do so love a furry guy! lol!)


29 posted on 08/10/2011 7:02:09 AM PDT by Marie (I agree with everything that Rick Perry is saying. I just wish that *he* did. (NO to Bush II))
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To: Marie

Congratulations on your anniversary!

Sounds as though you ~both~ “married well”.

I wish you many more happy years together!

:)


30 posted on 08/10/2011 7:12:24 AM PDT by Salamander (Can't sleep...clowns will eat me.)
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To: Marie

That’s simply beautiful.

:)


31 posted on 08/10/2011 7:14:34 AM PDT by Salamander (Can't sleep...clowns will eat me.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

32 posted on 08/10/2011 11:55:19 AM PDT by Daffynition ("Don't just live your life, but witness it also.")
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To: Daffynition

I wondered what the SOB that took my LuLu away looked like LoL. She is 650lbs of quivering love, I knew she cheated on me tho, one night I was kissing ob her an met another man coming from the other side


33 posted on 08/10/2011 12:25:22 PM PDT by Lees Swrd ("Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe and preserve order in the world as well")
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To: Lees Swrd

I forgot to post this this was our song.

http://www.archive.org/details/BobbieLeecan-WashboardCutOut1927

Ya know this is a great site to visit I didnt know the family lost the copyrights to this song!

Frank Sinatra - One For My Baby

http://www.archive.org/details/FrankSinatra-OneForMyBaby


34 posted on 08/10/2011 12:43:04 PM PDT by Lees Swrd ("Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe and preserve order in the world as well")
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To: Lees Swrd
LOL...she wadn't wort fightin' fer?


35 posted on 08/10/2011 5:27:46 PM PDT by Daffynition ("Don't just live your life, but witness it also.")
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