Gahan Wilson, October 1964.
Posted on 08/12/2011 3:43:34 PM PDT by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
ABBEVILLE, La. — The narrow, brick chimney of a Louisiana bank became his tomb for 27 years and now Joseph Schexnider will be laid to rest Sunday in a proper grave with a proper farewell by his family.
Still, his brother Robert wonders, how did he wind up in that chimney? Didn't anyone hear any cries for help? Was it a robbery attempt gone awry, an accident or something more sinister?...
[snip]
"Everybody has an opinion," said Lt. David Hardy, chief of investigations for the Abbeville Police Department. "But no one has evidence to say one way or another."
If Joseph Schexnider did cry out for help, no one heard his pleas. The stench of death was never detected.
The decades rolled on until last May when a construction worker helping turn the bank's vacant second floor into offices tugged some fabric out of the chimney and was showered with old clothes and human bones.
[snip]
From the way the skeleton was recovered, Hardy said it appeared Schexnider went into the 14-inch-by-14-inch chimney feet first. Because the chimney narrowed sharply at the bottom, he then was apparently unable to maneuver his way back out.
There was no way out at the bottom of the chute, which ended in a 3-inch opening to a narrow fireplace on the second floor of the bank building.
"He was stuck with nowhere to go," Hardy said. If he had called for help — Hardy points out — he would have been 20 feet above the street, and encased in bricks.
"His voice would have been carried up and away from the street," Hardy added.
(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...
AFP
The mummified body of a man thought to have died 20 years ago has been found in the chimney of an industrial building in Finland that was being demolished, media reports say. Identification papers found in a wallet in the man's pocket indicated that the body belonged to a man aged around 57 who had disappeared in 1991 and was declared dead in the early 2000s, tabloid Ilta-Sanomat reported on Monday.
"The police are investigating whether the man was placed in the chimney or went there himself," criminal investigator Juha Juurinen told Finnish news agency STT. Advertisement: Story continues below
The chimney, in a factory in the city of Vantaa near the Finnish capital, had not been used for decades, and the body was found on Sunday as construction workers tore it down.
© 2011 AFP
http://news.smh.com.au/breaking-news-world/mummified-man-found-in-finnish-chimney-20100614-yadz.html
Then there was that lady doctor in California who tried to break into her ex-lover’s house this way. Found her dead and dripping 3 days later.
Hilarious!!
“Hearth attack?”
O-OOOOOWWWW!!!!
I am finnished with this thread.!
lol, me too. What a way to go.
You dont have to be dumb to get stuck and die in a chimney.
“A doctor has died after she tried to sneak into her lover’s home by sliding down the chimney. Dr Jacquelyn Kotarac’s decomposing body was discovered three days after she went missing in Bakersfield, California.”
You can’t be very bright either
The cask of Amontillado.
Argh..... I hate that story. Poe sure had a thing for writing weird/disturbing stories....
My heart grew sick -- on account of the dampness of the catacombs. I hastened to make an end of my labour. I forced the last stone into its position; I plastered it up. Against the new masonry I reerected the old rampart of bones.
For the half of a century no mortal has disturbed them. In pace requiescat!"
The Cask of Amontillado. Edgar Allan Poe.
There is nothing new under the sun.
Gahan Wilson, October 1964.
Oy
Hey, I resemble that remark!
a. Thief jerky
b. Caught the flue
c. Nice soot to wear
d. Hearth attack
They're all OUTSTANDING, contestants, but, after much deliberation, I think I'll vote for the first entry, "Thief jerky." Congratulations, TexasNative2000!
Except that TexasNative2000 merely recycled my comment from over six years ago in a near identical story :-)
OK, then, Joe 6-pack, based on your appeal and upon further deliberation, the judges are hereby REVERSING their decision, STRIPPING TexasNative2000 of his prize (whatever it was), and awarding YOU, Joe 6-pack--who, after all, ALSO came up with "a nice soot to wear"--we are now awarding you the Best Pun of the Thread Award. Congratulations!
I knew I had seen it somewhere, I just couldn't remember where. Well played.
I have been outed. I knew I had seen that line in a similar story before - now I know where it was!
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