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Investment tips for 2012
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Posted on 01/09/2012 12:39:53 PM PST by woofie

Investment tips for 2012

With all the turmoil in the market, the collapse of Lehman Bros and the acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America, we all need some good investment advice For any of you with any money left, beware of the next year's expected mergers.

Watch for these consolidations later this year:

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. will merge and become:

Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:

Poly, Warner, Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:

MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:

ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:

FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:

Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:

PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:

Knott NOW!

And finally...

9. Victoria's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name:

TittyTittyBangBang


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: beans; bullets; cameras; consolidations; generators

1 posted on 01/09/2012 12:40:01 PM PST by woofie
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To: woofie

buy low, sell high. works every time.


2 posted on 01/09/2012 12:58:44 PM PST by wny
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To: woofie

Remington, Winchester, Colt, DPMS, Bushmaster, Saiga, Smith and Wesson, Armalite, Federal etc etc etc etc etc.

LLS


3 posted on 01/09/2012 12:59:31 PM PST by LibLieSlayer (obamao... ...the bastard son of a hippie slut and a drunk communist British Kenyan!)
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To: woofie

Gold, ammo, and freeze-dried meat.


4 posted on 01/09/2012 1:00:57 PM PST by rogue yam
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To: wny

Are you sure its not the other way around?


5 posted on 01/09/2012 1:06:16 PM PST by woofie (It takes three villages and a forest of woodland creatures to raise a child in Obamaville)
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To: woofie

You buy a stock and it drops like a rock, then what’s the strategy?


6 posted on 01/09/2012 1:17:38 PM PST by BipolarBob (I don't mind you shooting at me, Frank, but take it easy on the Bacardi!)
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To: BipolarBob

strategy? Rock and Roll I guess


7 posted on 01/09/2012 1:30:27 PM PST by woofie (It takes three villages and a forest of woodland creatures to raise a child in Obamaville)
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To: BipolarBob
You buy a stock and it drops like a rock, then what’s the strategy?

Hold.

8 posted on 01/09/2012 1:39:36 PM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts ("The price of freedom is willingness to do sudden battle anywhere, anytime..." - Robert A. Heinlein)
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IF ONE OF THESE TEAMS WINS THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP,
PLEASE MAKE A DONATION TO FREE REPUBLIC.



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Support Free Republic

9 posted on 01/09/2012 1:42:01 PM PST by deoetdoctrinae (Gun-Free zones are playgrounds for felons)
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To: BipolarBob

My advise is not to buy any of those....


10 posted on 01/09/2012 1:56:06 PM PST by G Larry ("I dream of a day when a man is judged by the content of his Character.")
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To: woofie

Invest in companies that sponsor Mayan travel and tourism sites.


11 posted on 01/09/2012 2:01:36 PM PST by Personal Responsibility (Obama 2012: Dozens of MSNBC viewers can't be wrong!)
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Look! It's Spam!!!


Click The Spam And Donate

Donate Anyway

12 posted on 01/09/2012 2:14:47 PM PST by DJ MacWoW (America! The wolves are here! What will you do?)
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To: Mrs. B.S. Roberts

ping


13 posted on 01/09/2012 2:43:05 PM PST by Mrs. B.S. Roberts
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To: woofie; a fool in paradise

14 posted on 01/09/2012 2:45:39 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: Revolting cat!

Sacking away the Sakojaweahs?


15 posted on 01/10/2012 10:24:21 AM PST by a fool in paradise (Candidate Barack Obama was never vetted. America is his employer, his job review sucks. End of story)
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