Aussie police on manhunt after 93-pound mayonnaise heist

Fox News ^ | June 19, 2012

[Slings and Arrows]

WHYALLA, Australia – Police were Tuesday conducting a manhunt for thieves who made off with 93 pounds of mayonnaise from a business in South Australia.

-snip-

They urged anyone who heard of people making large quantities of coleslaw or potato salad to notify authorities.

[Slings and Arrows]

Thanks to TheOldLady for this scathing social condimentary.

[Slings and Arrows]

When caught, the robber will be given a severe dressing-down.

[a fool in paradise]

Was it medicinal mayonnaise stolen from the Mayo Clinic?

[Joe 6-pack]

Not sure what the appropriate punishment would be for this heist, but you can bet when the guy is caught, he’s going to be whipped...

[treetopsandroofs]

They used to be 32-oz jars, think they’re a little smaller now. Even so, it sounds like these internationally reknowned condiment thieves made away with a few cases of mayo.

The great nickel robbery was more interesting.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6826757/ns/nbcnightlynews/t/millions-nickels-stolen-fed/

[Jack Hydrazine]

When I told the guy to, “hold the mayo” I didn’t mean for him to five-finger-discount it!

[goseminoles]

Egg-zactly!

[Revolting cat!]

Have they got a hold yet of whoever’s holding the mayo?

[goseminoles]

Imagine calling your mom from jail and telling her what you did? Its wouldn’t react be tuna funny..

[Revolting cat!]

Hell, man, it looks like whoever guarded these best foods hadn’t learned his kraft or passed the mustard!

[SWAMPSNIPER]

Hair dressing for Debbie Wasserman Schultz?

[Slings and Arrows]

Oil’s well that ends well.

[goseminoles]

Not really. This guys gonna be on a pickle.

[Tax-chick]

It could be terrorists, planning to start an epidemic of salmonella by offering everyone wonky macaroni salad.

[goseminoles]

“T hey urged anyone who heard of people making large quantities of coleslaw or potato salad to notify authorities”

Honestly that’s the dumbest statement I’ve ever seen. Ya think? How many restaurants are in that town. And who knows, it could be a private citizen prepped.

[Slings and Arrows]

The cops are gonna have to earn their celery.

[Daffynition]

I'd look in St.Louis, MO, USA -- During the seventh annual Iron Barley's Tomato Fest, where organizers build a giant BLT (bacon, lettuce and tomatoes) sandwich that measure 224 ft and 3 inches - setting the new world record for the Largest BLT Sandwich, according to World Records Academy (www.worldrecordsacademy.org).

[Slings and Arrows]

They’re based in New Deli.

[Slings and Arrows]

Now THAT’S bringing home the bacon!

[P.O.E.]

Work all night in the Deli Bar
Ham on buns and we wanna go home
Fill de orders cause de boss man come
Ham on buns and we wanna go home

Come Mr. Deli Man, Deli me bologna
Ham on buns and he want some more
Come Mr. Deli man, Deli me bologna
Ham on buns and he want some more

It’s sixth shift, seventh shift, eighth shift, Lunch!
Ham on buns and we wanna go home
Sixth shift, seventh shift, eighth shift, Lunch!
Ham on buns and we wanna go home

May
We say May-ay-ayo
Ham on buns and we want some more
May
We say May
We say May
We say May

(Softly)
Ham on buns and we wanna go home

(Excerpted from author: http://www.amiright.com/parody/authors/matthias.shtml )