Engineerial problem

07/20/12 | Not known

[Freelance Warrior]

A technical department in a Soviet university. An introductory lecture.

The professor:

For a start I'll explain to you, who an engineer is. There is a factory which receives daily a truckload of alcohol necessary for its operating. The factory has a huge tank with a tap to hold the alcohol. A female employee uses the tap to distribute the alcohol according to written orders. After each shift the tank is emptied with the same tap.

Now I have a question to you all:

How will an engineer steel some alcohol from the tank?"

[Freelance Warrior]

I thought you said this was from Soviet Russia.

That's exactly the Soviet way of doing things, at least when the issue is about valueables :)

[cynwoody]

It's simple. You pretend to work. We pretend to pay you.

The clock moves forward.

[dr_lew]

This is not an engineerial solution either.

This whole question made me think of a quote I saw from Shane Carruth, the software engineer turned indie film maker who made the low budget cult hit time travel movie, PRIMER : "Engineering is giving someone three days to do something that takes five minutes."

[cynwoody]

It's simple. You pretend to work. We pretend to pay you.

The clock moves forward.

Then, on the other side of the north pole, they elect a movie actor as their President.

[Freelance Warrior]

I know one way it could be done. It would depend on the volume of the truck, but you could either pump air into the truck to displace volume of the stolen booze or by lowering the pressure within the tank, it would allow the alcohol to expand.

That's a real engineerial solution. The problem with it is that the engineer can access the tank during down time only, when the tank is meant to be empty.

When the filling opening is open before a shift the pressure inside becomes equal to the atmospheric.

[OneWingedShark]

Steeling [from] the tank?
I suppose you’d have to use a sand-blaster, but that’s no good if the tank is solid steel.

[Freelance Warrior]

Well, I think it's the time for posting the answer:

1. Before a shift put a bucket with weights inside, for the bucket to stand steady, retrieve it with a rope and a hook after the shift.

2. If they inspect the tank with a rod after the tank is emptied, drop a quilt inside (or two, or any number of them), then retrieve it and squeeze.

[Usagi_yo]

At first glance it looks like an English problem, but if you really want to know the perfect way, steal the alcohol through evaporation.

[cracker45]

You need to get a real job; this crap thread is a waste of time!

JC

[Domangart]

Soooo simple. Al is volatile so you loose some to the air. Heat the tank and you distill it the second time like some scotch.

[muir_redwoods]

The female employee is the larcenous engineer, true?

[Shimmer1]

ping

[listenhillary]

You can not turn alcohol into steel. Her efforts to steel it are in vain.

[ClearCase_guy]

That solution was the first thing that came to my mind, but it was so incredibly obvious, I just decided not to say anything.

[Tallguy]

At first glance it looks like an English problem, but if you really want to know the perfect way, steal the alcohol through evaporation.

Yep!

[Kenny Bunk]

Comrade,
It is my sad duty to report that the Uzbekistan Alcohol Collective Plant at Stalinoputz shipped us Methanolski instead of Ethanolski, and now all my thought-criminal staff of Uzbeki counter-revolutionaries are dead, having ignorantly snuck drink from the mistaken shipment. At least their bodies will not freeze soon.

I have disposed of the remainder of the Methanolski and urgently request a replacement shipment of Ethanolski so that we may meet our production quotas for the glory of the Rodina and Communism.

Dos Vedanya, Dudeski,
Kenny Bunkov.

[ctdonath2]

Lame answers having nothing to do with engineering.

An engineer would suck all the air out of the empty tank, run it thru a cold tube, and condense the evaporated alcohol out of the air.

[Mier]

Maybe Comrade Obama can create another TRILLION dollar stimulus package to help figure this problem out? After all it’s only Obama money! Right?

[null and void]

I’d write the process instructions to require a sample be given to the engineer for testing each day.