Skip to comments.Father disowns his gay son in heart-rending letter after he comes out
Posted on 08/07/2012 9:29:23 PM PDT by mlizzy
It is probably one of the hardest things a gay man will ever have to do and one has decided to share his heartbreaking experience with the world.
'James', 33, from Pennsylvania, uploaded a letter sent to him by his father five years ago on internet messaging board Reddit, shortly after he worked up the courage to come out to him.
James reveals he called his father to tell him the news in August 2007: 'I finally built up the courage to tell my father I was gay.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
Oh, yeah, Dan Cathy made him do it..
Maybe he should have just told his father that he was a homosexual and let it go at that. “Gay” conjures up a lot of wacky and spooky images in a person’s mind.
Yes, I can certainly understand why the Dad would be heartbroken. I do not agree, however, that a total abandonment or disownment is the way to go.
It took a log of courage for his father to write that letter.
A little off topic, but have you ever been on reddit? Those loons make newsvine seem centrist..
Yes, I can certainly understand why the Dad would be heartbroken. I do not agree, however, that a total abandonment or disownment is the way to go.True. Therapists always advise that a door be left open, even if only slightly.
A little off topic, but have you ever been on reddit? Those loons make newsvine seem centrist..ROFL... it's bad indeed. :)
It took a log of courage for his father to write that letter.I agree, and he's probably none to happy to see it on the Internet, especially if the last name given is factual.
Sex is something a person has, it is not who they are. This entire problem with sexuality as identity should be understood as a mental illness.
Too bad there are not more strong fathers such as this brave man who would put his principles before his Sodomite Son.
I’d have to disown my kids of they came out liberal or Muslim.
You can still love another person without abandoning them.
I disagree. I have three daughters and there is NOTHING they can do that would cause me to disown them. I love them unconditionally.
I refuse to judge someone else’s family.
It is the dad’s choice to do this. Frankly, it is understandable, especially if the dad is a Christian.
My own father did this to me when I was an early teen, simply because I was the only one to stand up to his crud (abuse). He recently died, leaving the estate to his live-in floozy girlfriend (who wound up being investigated for his death) while leaving nothing to the rest of us.
I have only been at peace with the result since he died. My wife, sisters, and my divorced mother are happier than ever, too.
If it’s your money, you should be able to squander or invest it however you desire.
"James" has a need to pit the whole world against his father with this one-sided tale of woe.
Therefore, I don't trust this "James". He comes off as a manipulative, deceptive drama queen.
He doesn't speak to us much but I did help fly him to my mother's funeral and pay for his lodging and meals so surely he realizes I am not cutting him off however I think many gays become hypersensitive to slights and interpret even minor conflicts or silence as "hate" when it isn't so. It's as if they can't wait to find any confirmation of "hate" from straights as somehow justification for their own nastiness and persecution complex.
My advice to anyone who is convinced by faith that homosexuality is wrong and yet must deal with a family member who comes out is to a) stand firm in what Scripture says but b) understand that we are all sinners and do your best to accept the fallen without embracing their lifestyle.
>> Gay conjures up a lot of wacky and spooky images in a persons mind.
So here’s the thing I don’t get. Why is it okay for the son to be gay but it’s not okay for the father to stick to his convictions? And why is a vanity posted from Reddit considered “real news”?
...Therefore, I don't trust this "James". He comes off as a manipulative, deceptive drama queen.Yes, I agree. One-sided tales are not appropriate, and further the homosexual-as-selfish opinion.
This happened five years ago.
I'm sure "log" was a freudian slip but I say it only took stone cold cowardice.
You see it's letter like this, or the fear of such things, that drives the young people who come through adolescence with a homosexual inclination to fall into the waiting arms of the "gay community" which, for all its proclaimed "tolerance," preaches the abandonment of Faith, family, basic virtues.
I try to warn people: you must have an answer for them other than rejection and vitriolic condemnation. They must have some hope that there is a path for them to live productive, loved, happy lives while not feeling as if they're must lie about their inner struggle.
But, if you believe in "ex-gays," what mother or father would counsel his daughter to marry one? Ok, so then what? Is it lifelong celibacy as Catholics' teach? Is it hopeless damnation like Westboro Baptist espouses? I hope you can see why the false promises of "acceptance" and "belonging" from the "gay community" are so alluring and why this was precisely the easy answer, the wrong answer, the failed parent's answer, the inhumane answer, the unChristian answer.
You are making a wise and prudent choice.
So what would God say?
I don’t know if I agree with that—since homosexual acts are such a Satanic, evil act—that not only debases one’s own body—but other people. I wouldn’t care if they weren’t “practicing” the abhorrent lifestyle and were seeking help—then I would totally support them.
But if they think the debasement is “Good” —to actually act on base urges that defile other human beings and themselves, and continue such evil, dysfunctional dangerous lifestyle....I think I would—because of my Christian Faith and their total rejection of God and God’s Design. I would have to say goodbye. It would be sad—very sad—when someone chooses Satan over God. But it is Free Will. People should never back down on such basic principles of Right and Wrong and act like evil is good. That is what the “Good Germans” did in the 30’s. Embracing evil ends in hell.
And we’re all taking it on face value that it was really written by his father? My older sisters taught me the meaning of “gullible” at a young age. I’m taking it with a huge dose of skepticism his father actually wrote this.
This post encapsulates everything wrong with ‘our side’ when it comes to the homsexual issue.
First, lets stipulate to a simple fact. ‘little Johnny’ has chosen to destroy his family because he prefers taking another man’s penis orally and analy. That his desire to fulfill his sexual desires and put them ahead of everything and everyone but himself...so he ‘can be who he is’ has accomplished what exactly?
Not only has he and others like him made the personal choice to cause chaos for sexual gratification is not the worst of it. The worst of it is that he and others KNOW that there will always be people out there who believe that everyone else must change and adapt their lives, beliefs et all to accommodate his oral and anal desires.
So by all means. Please continue helping little ‘johnny’ destroy more families and himself through making it easier for him to do so. And having had a ‘homosexual’ (when it could get her what she wanted) sister in law, I have some experience in the matter.
So the whole thing comes down to this. Is it right for normal people to accept this insanity only to get more of it when they do? Or is it right that people be held accountable for the choices they make?
What God said 120 years prior to the great flood.
The Early church was told by the apostles to “Release(non repenting sinning Christians) them unto Satan, until such time they should repent”.
Sometime love demands we abandon erring ones, especially if such erring may threaten other innocent ones either as direct physical threats or indirectly thru influencing the innocents to commit sin themselves.
There is a time one must let go for the sake of one’s own spiritual integrity. One can mistake spiritual integrity for “wounded pride”, but “wounded pride” may also cause a parent or loved one to cling to an erring one to such an extent, that the erring one has no motivation to examine him or herself and to change those behaviors that are in error. “Tough love” maybe the only radical spiritual scalpel that may yet save the patient from him or her self!
I concur with you. If the letter is real, it’s pretty unsettling.
Fake letter from drama queen seeking sympathy for political gain.
Well said. I fail to understand how any 'normal' person can define his/her entire being - based on sexual attraction.
I'm an engineer, a dependable friend, a supportive person, active in my church, I give to charity, I volunteer to help out those less fortunate, I love my family, I help my neighbors, I will defend the helpless and I like members of the opposite sex, I love animals (especially dogs), I'm a hunter, I can take or leave fishing. But, my sexual preference has no place in defining "Who" I am.
I can appreciate the point about tough love. If my children were aware of the consequences of their actions, I would never prevent those consequences.
I do differentiate between deliberate rebellion and mental illness. If my child were gay, I assume that it’s more likely due to mental illness or messed up hormones, as opposed to open rebellion.
Having said that, my child would always be welcome into my home on condition that they abide behaviourally by my rules when they are here. If they cannot abide by my rules, they cannot come into my home.
“A little off topic, but have you ever been on reddit? Those loons make newsvine seem centrist..”
Yup. It’s an obama ass-kissers wet dream. That’s why you almost never see it linked ala Yelp or FB. It’s infested with lobotomy-ready readers.
It doesn't take a lot to read between the lines and see a father that feels shattered with disappointment and fear. He will never get to meet his new daughter-in-law. He will never be Gramps or Paw-Paw to some wonderful little tyke. And he will always fear for his son's physical health and spiritual well-being.
Perhaps if this son was not so self absorbed and happy to wallow in his self pity and drama, he may have been able to feel his father's pain and attempt to bridge the gap... instead of flying his gay agenda flag on the back of his father's sincere letter.
This unconditional love thing is another stupid Liberal idea foisted on the world in the sixties.
For your sake I hope your daughters never put you to the test.
It is true that a parent that raised their children to be good people will always WANT to lover their children but when your child has truly done terrible things to others, themselves and the parents it is only natural to hate the child for these terrible things that they have done.
Sometimes the worst thing that the child does is make the parent hate themselves for hating the child.
Again I hope your conviction is never tested.
“I disagree. I have three daughters and there is NOTHING they can do that would cause me to disown them. I love them unconditionally.”
One of my (former) high school buds stabbed, lacerated and dismembered his 6 month old pregnant wife. His father disowned him and he said it in front of us in the courtroom, for everyone to hear including the judge.
What about other sexual sins? Most of us who aren’t gay are born to commit adultery and fornication. It is the rare, rare man or woman who is not tempted, often sorely.
What shall we do? Repress all those urges in obedience to God?
Personally, I think he should have done better. Regardless of what level of communication he wanted to pursue he should have explained possibility of repentance and forgiveness to his son. “God doesn’t for you to live this lifestyle” is only the beginning, of what he should have said.
Three boys out of my son’s high school graduating class of a couple of hundred kids, were homosexual. All three died with AIDS. Their lives were gone in their early 20s. What a great lifestyle they had.
If I had a grown child who was homosexual, he/she could not come to my house. That child would have made a choice and I would make a choice.
By any chance, was her name Aisha?
If all the kid did was say he was gay and the father reacted this way, the father is wrong. There is nothing principled about the father’s letter. The kid didn’t say he was out having sex or marching in parades. In fact, the father seems incredibly callous and cold. Christianity teaches the difference between being gay and acting on it. I agree that the article is a stupid attempt to tie it to Cathy though.
Unconditional love is not the issue; the issue is unconditional acceptance.
And I dare say only a fool would pledge unconditional acceptance, even to God himself.
We have a winner!
Apparently "The Blaze" and "The Daily Mail" consider it news.
Because Christians always go along with what the "world" wants, right?
Peppering your response with insults and false rationalizations doesn't make it any less wrong.