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Chuck Norris,Who Cuts Through A Hot Knife With Butter,
ZeroHedge ^
| 9/4/12
| Tyler Durden
Posted on 09/04/2012 5:14:54 PM PDT by Kartographer
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To: beebuster2000
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. The problem is, Chuck Norris has never cried. Ever.
21
posted on
09/04/2012 6:00:30 PM PDT
by
sima_yi
( Reporting live from the far North)
To: ATOMIC_PUNK
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
22
posted on
09/04/2012 6:00:43 PM PDT
by
Kartographer
("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
To: beebuster2000
Chuck Norris can play Xbox live on an Atari 2600.
23
posted on
09/04/2012 6:03:05 PM PDT
by
Mad Dawgg
(If you're going to deny my 1st Amendment rights then I must proceed to the 2nd one...)
To: Mad Dawgg
Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it.
24
posted on
09/04/2012 6:06:03 PM PDT
by
deoetdoctrinae
(Gun free zones are playgrounds for felons.)
To: Kartographer
Chuck Norris...speaks Braille.
To: deoetdoctrinae
LOL!
26
posted on
09/04/2012 6:07:58 PM PDT
by
JoeProBono
(A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit ;-{)
To: sima_yi
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
27
posted on
09/04/2012 6:08:20 PM PDT
by
deoetdoctrinae
(Gun free zones are playgrounds for felons.)
To: Billthedrill
If Chuck Norris had performed in the movie “300”, the film would have been called... “1”.
28
posted on
09/04/2012 6:12:36 PM PDT
by
deoetdoctrinae
(Gun free zones are playgrounds for felons.)
To: Kartographer
Chuck Norris’ headstone will read: I’m not dead. I simply slumber, and wait.
29
posted on
09/04/2012 6:16:08 PM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(Communist Party = Democrats. Socialist Party = Republicans. WE NEED A CAPITALIST FREEDOM PARTY!)
To: Lazamataz
Dang! I knew I should have waited a few more minutes. I could have sent post 28 to you!
How ya doing Laz?
30
posted on
09/04/2012 6:19:18 PM PDT
by
deoetdoctrinae
(Gun free zones are playgrounds for felons.)
To: deoetdoctrinae
I’m okay, providing Chuck Norris agrees.
31
posted on
09/04/2012 6:20:21 PM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(Communist Party = Democrats. Socialist Party = Republicans. WE NEED A CAPITALIST FREEDOM PARTY!)
To: Lazamataz
Chuck Norris is not immortal...
He just chooses not to die.
32
posted on
09/04/2012 6:21:14 PM PDT
by
Mad Dawgg
(If you're going to deny my 1st Amendment rights then I must proceed to the 2nd one...)
To: deoetdoctrinae
Cthulu belongs to the Cult of Chuck Norris.
33
posted on
09/04/2012 6:21:16 PM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(Communist Party = Democrats. Socialist Party = Republicans. WE NEED A CAPITALIST FREEDOM PARTY!)
To: Lazamataz
"Laz is okay."
34
posted on
09/04/2012 6:22:23 PM PDT
by
deoetdoctrinae
(Gun free zones are playgrounds for felons.)
To: Mad Dawgg
I’m issuing a challenge to myself. I’m only posting Chuck Norris jokes I personally come up with. Two of them, above.
35
posted on
09/04/2012 6:22:25 PM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(Communist Party = Democrats. Socialist Party = Republicans. WE NEED A CAPITALIST FREEDOM PARTY!)
To: deoetdoctrinae
Chuck Norris is the only man who can beat Chuck Norris in a fair fight.
36
posted on
09/04/2012 6:23:08 PM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(Communist Party = Democrats. Socialist Party = Republicans. WE NEED A CAPITALIST FREEDOM PARTY!)
To: Mad Dawgg
In the Beginning, God created the Heavens and Earth. That’s because, a few seconds earlier, Chuck Norris suggested it.
37
posted on
09/04/2012 6:24:41 PM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(Communist Party = Democrats. Socialist Party = Republicans. WE NEED A CAPITALIST FREEDOM PARTY!)
To: ATOMIC_PUNK
38
posted on
09/04/2012 7:15:09 PM PDT
by
maine-iac7
(Christian is as Christian does....)
To: Kartographer
39
posted on
09/04/2012 7:17:51 PM PDT
by
Free Vulcan
(Election 2012 - America stands or falls. No more excuses. Get involved.)
To: battousai
40
posted on
09/04/2012 7:22:25 PM PDT
by
maine-iac7
(Christian is as Christian does....)
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