Skip to comments.Ugly American Cars (My Vanity Rant)
Posted on 09/09/2012 9:23:53 AM PDT by count-your-change
It's that time of year. The auto dealers face a wave of 2013 vehicles and must clear out the 2012 models to make room and avoid the inventory tax where it exists. Pretty much the same as last year and if you're in the market for a car you might be able to strike a good deal for brand new one year old car.
But one thing you might have trouble finding is an American auto that is NOT just plain ugly. Ugly and uninspired, ugly and bland, ugly and really ugly seems to be the rule.
I offer in evidence the 2013 Chevrolet Spark. No, I won't post a picture, I'll have mercy on the people that love the classics.
Firstly the front end looks like most other econo thumpers in the $15,000 range, squinty eye, swept back head lights and an overly busy grill area framed in plastic. PLastic! I'm sure it would hold up to an impact with cotton candy fairly well but anything tougher will require a call to your insurance agent.
Open the door and experience the true ugliness of today's offerings: Their tiny entrances. All you have to do is turn backwards, bend double and hope your knees will bend enough to allow you to drag your feet in. Wonderful! Now try getting out.
Moving to the rear of the typical new car gives the impression that the designers just gave up and tried to get the thing finished so they could leave early at the end of the week. Just hit the computer key that says, "Add some lights and acres of plastic" and punch out for the weekend.
But one may object, "You get what what you pay for." You sure do!
Consider the 2013 Chevrolet Corvette. The same squinty eye, wrap around head lights and the rest of the cars exterior a study in blandness, a bar of soap worn down to roundness with a couple of tail lights to keep the drivers behind from falling asleep just looking at the car.
For this you can pay handsomely, up to a hundred grand if you're a wealthy masochist or believe the slinky women in the commercial will ignore your double chins and "portly" avoirdupois. In case they don't the car does go fast so you'll be able to leave that embarrassing situation quickly and feel the breeze in your Hair Club for Men.
Me? The last car that I truly enjoyed driving and found really comfortable was my 1975 Ford LTD. It was big, heavy, feared no car on the road and ate at least one Fiat. And it had character by the ton.
If I were inclined to spend fifteen to twenty grand on a car today I would find one of the older models that were like Cleopatra's barge on wheels and have it restored or at least made serviceable.
The ugliness, the blandness, the uninspired sameness of today's auto designs is, what I believe, drives the popularity of the restoration market. What else would drive a person to pay thousands of dollars for a rusty, thirty or forty year old car and spend tens of thousands of dollars restoring it to its new condition when it sold for under three thousand dollars?
I would go kick a new car's tires but I'm afraid one kick might total it.
Can anyone imagine some future car collector looking back with affection for the classic lines of a Chevrolet Aztec like I do for the '34 Cord?
No car has had classic lines after 1972.Ugly is the trend style is gone.
Hopefully the US car makers don’t ever make them as ugly as the riceburners.
Look at the new Taurus, freaking ugly.
Simply lowering the beltline (the line that extends the length of the car and defines the window body demarkation) 5 inches would make this a pretty decent looking car.
I remember in the old days, there used to be some excitement in the fall, as the new cars were introduced for the new model year.
And, often there would be interesting styling changes for the new model year. But not anymore. Maybe it’s just me, but it’s hard nowadays to tell a Ford from a Chevy from a Nissan to a Honda, or to tell a 2001 model from a 2008 model of any vehicle out there.
I’ve had ricers’ since high school. Burned my money from summer work souping them up. Had no problems getting girls. It’s when I drove a Chevy my social life went down LOL
Toyota, while not technically a US name plate, has gone ugly. The best looking vehicle in their line up IMO is the Tacoma pick up. And that aint sayin much.
I still like the last of the Ford Crown Victoria’s and Lincoln Town Cars. Too bad they don’t make them anymore.
You are correct...add to that, fall television programs...TV guide did a brisk business in September back in the day.
Old guy-itis. My father couldn’t stand the sleeker lines of 1960’s cars. He never understood why the pregnant elephant look of 1940’s and 1950’s cars went out of style. Except for the 80’s, I think cars have just gotten better looking with each passing decade.
Detroit it isn't that hard to figure out, just dust off the old blue prints and start upgrading technoogy...
I still think my 1940 Ford coupe was beautiful. I also got to talk with a a 83 year old woman that was driving a 1925 chopped and channeled Dodge P/U with a most bodacious hemi in it, that was also beautiful.
Wow, I find Asian cars bland and overrated.
But its a free country and spend your money however you want to.
Me I will buy American cars.
I’ve never understood why American cars and trucks have the ugliest grilles. It’s like the designers have a disease that’s unique to Americans.
I was going to point that out...to my eyes, Hondas and Toyotas are by far the most dull cars on the road. I wonder if they’re deliberately marketing the Civic and Camry to people who just want to drive as little as possible and mope about it when they have to.
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