Posted on 12/28/2012 8:05:58 AM PST by SeekAndFind
Many have spent long hours wondering if a marriage is going to last, considering things like love, children, taxes, and the opinion of friends and professionals.
But the best and easiest answer may be this formula:
frequency of lovemaking minus frequency of quarrels
A positive difference predicts marital happiness, a negative one unhappiness.
The formula was derived from a series of studies in the 1970s.
One study of married students at University of Missouri-Kansas City found that 28 out of 30 self-described happy couples had sex more than they argued, while all 12 self-described unhappy couples argued more. These results were corroborated by a 1974 study by John Howard and Robyn Dawes, in which all 23 happy couples had a positive score and all 3 unhappy couples had a negative score.
(Excerpt) Read more at businessinsider.com ...
Thank you, Captain Obvious. LOL!
ping
So, if you do have an argument, never, ever, skip the make-up sex.
Does this mean Boehner and Barry are married?
There’s still an open cause/effect question. Does lovemaking make for more happiness or does happiness make for more lovemaking?
I keep extra locksets in stock. ;)
/johnny
I tried to show this study to my wife and she argued with me.
Acceptance.
My preferred method for "battle" is to withdraw and not engage in our normal play. My Wife and I laugh and smile at each other all the time.
This turns to resentment and anger far beyond the initial issue making intimacy very unlikely which further degrades the situation.
I married my Wife for many reasons, my desire for her is top of that list and without that connection... Simple enough but I know so many men that speak poorly of their wives and you can hear the distance in their voices.
Since I’m pretty anonymous:
My first marriage lasted 20 years. Although in the beginning I wanted sex every day, she was fine with twice a week. And it trailed off from there. It produced three beautiful daughters, but back to the subject...
The last year we were married we went 14 months with nothing. And to be clear, she was a BIG arguer and I’m a Mr. Spock when it comes to arguing.
Being a Christian couple, I figured divorce was not an option and I continued to work on it. That is, until, completely out of the blue, she exercises her “no fault divorce” rights.
Not two months later, and completely done with women, I go to my 25th High School reunion and meet a female class mate who had just been through the same thing at the same time (though it was a second husband as her first, and the father of her three children, died of leukemia). She was so done with men that she told her sister to shoot her if she even thought about it.
So, we were both smitten and got married a month after my divorce was final. Frequency? Roughly 13 times a week. Sometimes more. Eventually it slacked off to 7. It’s only about four now. But then, it’s been 15 years and we’re just shy of 60.
And the only thing we ever fought about was sometimes me over-appeasing my ex when dealing with events involving the kids. I honestly can not remember the last time we fought. Our respect for each other is so high (and we both know it) that it is beyond my ability to imagine fighting.
Frankly, I did not know, in my wildest imagination, that it could be this good. It really is like a fairy tale, exept it really does happen.
I also confess that as I look around at young family men I can see it in the men’s eyes and demeanor. I feel bad for them. What I went through is a VERY common tale.
This sums it up:
http://www.fredoneverything.net/Divorce.shtml
So, if you do have an argument, never, ever, skip the make-up sex.
Actually, in “Learning to live, learning to love”, makeup sex is considered part of the cycle of abuse. It is, therefore, interpretted as abuse. As is “I’m sorry” roses.
I actually experienced that attitude.
There’s still an open cause/effect question. Does lovemaking make for more happiness or does happiness make for more lovemaking?
Both. On a related note, my wife says that foreplay is what happens all day long.
What if you argue about sex?
Yeah......duhhhhhh...
another pseudo-scientific “clinical” assessment based on
“MARRIED STUDENTS”?????
How about the more interesting and prevalent “demographic”
of couples that have been married, 25,30,40 years and more
who find that they’ve
“lost interest” in physical sex as they are physicaly “less able to do it well”(especially in these nose-to-
the-grindstone, extra-stressful times)or dialed down their
biological instincts and found more important priorities?
Traditional sex , practiced twice a week, twice a month, twice a year,does nothing, with or without “arguments” to leaven or counterbalance it, to establish the real stuff, which is openness, honest intimacy, and mutual respect and responsibility for shared goals, which is the only thing that means anything in the real world.
worse, what if you argue during sex? try keeping it up while that’s going on.
LOL!!!! Hilarious!!
Abuse? Makeup sex is one of those things that makes life worth living. I pity those who would make themselves miserable by denying it to themselves.
Just argue about sex during sex, and you should be fine.
I have long believed that a woman should not notice the beginning of foreplay. It should start with smiles, words, gestures long before anyone is in bed.
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