Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Alaska Wolf! That is an awesome accomplishment, no matter how much compatability you share naturally -- marriage is hard work, and it sounds like you two have done the work with a cheerful spirit.
Many happy returns!!
Posted on 12/28/2012 8:05:58 AM PST by SeekAndFind
Maybe. Do bear in mind that physical problems may prevent a woman from desiring a husband whom she truly does love. After childbirth and/or after menopause, sex can become quite painful, and the medication used to improve this situation has side effects like heart attack, stroke, and cancer. It's hard to force yourself to have sex when it hurts like mad and even causes damage to delicate tissues. It's harder still to choose to inflect potential death on yourself for the sake of having sex. I have seen many, many medical records and have heard from many patients that they are frustrated, they're unhappy, they know their husbands may leave them, but a prior history of cardiac problems or cancer precludes using hormones to fix the sexual pain. This is far more common than you'd think.
Why, in more civilized times, men over 40 usually had a second, younger wife if he could afford it.
In more civilized times, the natural abilities of men began to wane as they got older, and they did not have the ability to alter that with various pills, injections, balloons, creams, and other interventions.
Face it, life after 40 without sex is boring. For the life of me I don’t understand the female race....
There's more than one way to keep a guy sexually happy.
I agree, something starts to go out of life, and one becomes less energetic, less vibrant and alive, without a happy sex life. But for the women I was talking about, sex = serious pain. You can understand that, surely.
Carry on ... and Happy New Year to you, too!
There was a statement on FR some years ago regarding marital bliss that has stuck with me.
For a long marriage, a husband needs to listen, really listen, to his wife for 15 minutes a day, and a wife needs to have sex with her husband at least once a week.
I think the first would tend to keep the number of arguments down to a level where the second would keep things well positive under the math in this article.
Problem is, there are men like that, too. Either their libido is the problem or they just got married to please their nagging mother or so as not to look gay to their boss, but don't really love their wife, or they are cheating and won't throw their wife a bone once in awhile.
And it's just not as easy for a woman with children to just get a divorce, change partners and dance. Especially with children, and especially if he is the larger breadwinner. Most men can get loose women and/or another wife at virtually any age; but most men do not want to marry a divorced woman over 35 with children; and most mothers do not want a mere shackup in front of the children.
People need to prepare for marriage much more carefully if they intend to have children. Every time I hear that old b.s., "children are flexible" with regard to joint custody and two sets of parents, I spit. That's because they don't know anything yet and they should be seeing a good moral example when they are forming their own value system. Kids shouldn't have to swallow their pain to accommodate their juvenile parents' demands for self-fulfillment, liberation, more bang for their buck or whatever.
By the way, PapaBear, this rant is not directed at you personally. Just sayin'.
My wife and I celebrated 45 years of marriage this year. We made a commitment. We genuinely liked each other and enjoyed each others company before we got married. She has been disabled for the last 17 years and we still like each other and enjoy each others company.
Pornography wrecks marriages.
There is a very big difference between loving making with someone who loves you and someone for whom one is merely and extension of their porn addiction.
Then you’re screwed, and not in a good way.
That’s not what you’re expecting when you do.
Absolutely, I could not truly Love my Wife if I did not respect her. But intimacy is important in my marriage -my Wife is not my “buddy” - to me it is why man & woman were made for each other.
Make love, not war....and bring money.
Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Alaska Wolf! That is an awesome accomplishment, no matter how much compatability you share naturally -- marriage is hard work, and it sounds like you two have done the work with a cheerful spirit.
Many happy returns!!
Thank you.
marriage is hard work
It is, but the rewards of a happy and successful partnership far outweigh the effort and work needed.
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