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Exhaustipated
01/21/13 | Elderly patients

Posted on 01/21/2013 10:29:14 AM PST by Brian Kopp DPM

True story:

I always ask patients how they are doing, or "What's new?" every time I walk in the treatment room. A standard response is, "Well, I checked the obituaries this morning, and I wasn't in there."

One guy always said, "I'm vertical and taking nutrition." Another guy routinely says, "I'm looking down at the grass and not up at the roots."

A couple months ago one little old lady deadpanned, "These are supposed to be my 'Golden Years.' The only thing golden about my 'Golden Years' is my pee."

But this morning, I had a patient who said he was "exhaustipated." He said he's just too tired to give a crap.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 01/21/2013 10:29:16 AM PST by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: Dr. Brian Kopp

At least he’s keeping his s... to himself.

Wish the DEMS would do the same.


2 posted on 01/21/2013 10:41:53 AM PST by Writingwhiz
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To: Dr. Brian Kopp

Sounds like my 87 year old Dad. LOL


3 posted on 01/21/2013 10:43:47 AM PST by dforest
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To: dforest

This little old guy was really cute. He said he got an email about being exhaustipated this weekend and just couldn’t wait to tell a doctor that.


4 posted on 01/21/2013 10:47:46 AM PST by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: Dr. Brian Kopp

I’m 71 yo and have Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. My answer to the Dr. although not funny always draws a smile. I’m in great shape for the shape that I’m in......


5 posted on 01/21/2013 10:56:25 AM PST by Coldwater Creek (He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadows of the Almighty Psalm 91:)
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To: Dr. Brian Kopp

I found out that I have inflamed anal-optic nerves.

It gives me a sh*tty outlook on life.

If you don’t think this is real, pull a hair from down there, and see if doesn’t bring a tear to your eye.

/found on the interwebs.


6 posted on 01/21/2013 11:09:09 AM PST by Yehuda
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To: Dr. Brian Kopp

We have to be really careful around my Dad not to mention Obama. He gets so upset.

Ar age 87, I can understand. He knows he is too old to do anything about it.

I guess he is “exhaustipated”.


7 posted on 01/21/2013 11:11:19 AM PST by dforest
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To: Dr. Brian Kopp

Standard answer;
“Old, Fat, Bald, Ugly and Broke.”


8 posted on 01/21/2013 11:14:21 AM PST by Tupelo (Hunkered down & loading up)
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To: Coldwater Creek

I’m 55 and I have Idiopathic Interstitial Lung Disease, which I think is similar to what you have. Diagnosed about 12 years ago. Fortunately for me it has been fairly stable over the years. Hope you are doing well.

When a doctor asks me how I’m doing, I never get the sense he is actually listening to me anyway, so I just say fine.


9 posted on 01/21/2013 11:27:49 AM PST by beandog (All Aboard the Choo Choo Train to Crazy Town)
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To: Dr. Brian Kopp

One day in the grocery store a guy said to me “Help a guy out? I’m vertically challenged” and asked if I could reach to the top shelf for some packages.

I said, “Sure. But you’re not vertically challenged - you’re horizontally exceptional!”

We shared a laugh....


10 posted on 01/21/2013 11:46:03 AM PST by raybbr (People who still support Obama are either a Marxist or a moron.)
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To: raybbr

Once I grabbed a woman at the grocery store. “Excuse me, ma’am. I’m horizontally challenged. May I borrow your husband?”

She was shopping with her husband who was well over six foot. I needed something off a high shelf. She laugheda LOT and let me borrow him.


11 posted on 01/21/2013 11:51:53 AM PST by Marie ("The last time Democrats gloated this hard after a health care victory, they lost 60 House seats.")
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To: Dr. Brian Kopp

My mother had a friend who would say after listening to a litany of woes “Only the living can suffer like this.”


12 posted on 01/21/2013 11:58:47 AM PST by DManA
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To: Dr. Brian Kopp
I've used "exhaustipated," which I think is either a direct quote or a play on the patter of Popeye the Sailor.

And one variation of one mentioned that I've still try to use frequently, usually to blank stares, is, "I'm able to sit up and take nourishment," which is something my father and his father before him often said.

Which always reminds me of another stern warning my grandfather used to say (totally unrelated, but perhaps humorous to some), "never let the women get you in bed (meaning a sick bed, as they used to call it, just to be clear), you'll never get up."

13 posted on 01/21/2013 12:11:31 PM PST by Prospero
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To: Marie

I get asked to be that helper quite often, Marie.
You weren’t here in SV when that happened, were you?
Coulda been me!


14 posted on 01/21/2013 12:34:12 PM PST by HiJinx (The New Year is here; to all Men Good Cheer. (Last one out, turn out the lights.))
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To: Prospero

“And one variation of one mentioned that I’ve still try to use frequently, usually to blank stares, is, “I’m able to sit up and take nourishment,” which is something my father and his father before him often said.”

My Dad used to say the same thing. He was born in 1922.


15 posted on 01/21/2013 12:46:32 PM PST by USMCPOP (Father of LCpl. Karl Linn, KIA 1/26/2005 Al Haqlaniyah, Iraq)
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To: Dr. Brian Kopp

My dad just turned 90 last month. He has CHF. His standard reply to an inquiry as to how he’s doing is “well, I’m still vertical!” The other one that he pulls on people ... if HE asks them how they are and they say “Oh, I’m just fine”, he’ll respond with “just plain fine or fine as silk?”

I’ll tell him about the “exhaustipated” - he’ll laugh, but he’d never use the work ‘crap’ (too old fashioned & polite) so I know he won’t be borrowing it to use on his doctors!


16 posted on 01/21/2013 12:52:22 PM PST by MissMagnolia (You see, truth always resides wherever brave men still have ammunition. I pick truth. (John Ransom))
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To: beandog
Yes it is in the same family. I have had this for 10 years and am no longer stable. No fun, but it is what it is.

Hop that you continue to do well. I think that yours has a better prognosis than mine.

17 posted on 01/21/2013 12:59:29 PM PST by Coldwater Creek (He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadows of the Almighty Psalm 91:)
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To: Dr. Brian Kopp

It irks me when I go in for yearly xrays, the dentist asks how my teeth are doing. He’s the one shining a light in my mouth, probing around, sticking me with sharp instruments and taking xrays so he should be telling me.


18 posted on 01/21/2013 1:02:43 PM PST by bgill (We've passed the point of no return. Welcome to Al Amerika.)
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To: HiJinx

Sierra Vista...?

Why, yes! I was! lol!


19 posted on 01/21/2013 1:54:19 PM PST by Marie ("The last time Democrats gloated this hard after a health care victory, they lost 60 House seats.")
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To: Dr. Brian Kopp

An unrepentant optimist who lives in my MIL’s retirement community always responds: “Still buying green bananas.”

I plan to follow his lead.


20 posted on 01/21/2013 2:04:14 PM PST by Arm_Bears (Ted Kennedy's Oldsmobile has killed more people than my guns.)
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To: HiJinx

I just told my husband, “I found the guy!” lol!

I remember trying so hard to be respectful and only speak to the wife. “Can I borrow your husband?”

All I remember for sure was that the boxes in the front were gone and there was no way I could reach beyond that. I had a choice: climb the shelves (which I’ve done many times before) or ask of help. There was this guy who was well over six foot and his little wife. (She was still taller than me.)

I was horribly embarrassed and didn’t want her to be offended that I’d take liberties with her husband, so I never spoke to him directly.

How messed up is that? “Give me your man.”

This morning I lent my son to a neighbor to kill a bug, so I guess I shouldn’t feel too bad! LOL!


21 posted on 01/21/2013 2:05:06 PM PST by Marie ("The last time Democrats gloated this hard after a health care victory, they lost 60 House seats.")
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To: Marie

One of the philosophies I live by is “What good am I if I cannot help someone in need?”


22 posted on 01/21/2013 2:39:34 PM PST by HiJinx (The New Year is here; to all Men Good Cheer. (Last one out, turn out the lights.))
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To: Yehuda

I have rapidly advancing Optical Rectalitus.... Gives me a shitty outlook on life also


23 posted on 01/22/2013 12:15:34 AM PST by Kenika (A Tried, True and Tested CPO)
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To: Dr. Brian Kopp

My mother used to say, “When I woke up this morning, I had the same old aches and pains, so I figured I was still alive.”


24 posted on 01/22/2013 12:25:32 AM PST by firebrand
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To: Kenika

I like your terminology better!


25 posted on 01/22/2013 12:50:04 AM PST by Yehuda
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To: Dr. Brian Kopp
Any day above ground is a good day.

Since I was diagnosed with Leukemia eight years ago and I'm about half way to my Doctor's original estimate of my expected demise, I find myself using that phrase more and more.

Even with Pharaoh Obama running the show, Old Age is still a preferred option to the alternative.

26 posted on 01/22/2013 1:04:18 AM PST by Kickass Conservative (I only Fear a Government that doesn't Fear me.)
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