Posted on 01/21/2013 10:29:14 AM PST by Brian Kopp DPM
True story:
I always ask patients how they are doing, or "What's new?" every time I walk in the treatment room. A standard response is, "Well, I checked the obituaries this morning, and I wasn't in there."
One guy always said, "I'm vertical and taking nutrition." Another guy routinely says, "I'm looking down at the grass and not up at the roots."
A couple months ago one little old lady deadpanned, "These are supposed to be my 'Golden Years.' The only thing golden about my 'Golden Years' is my pee."
But this morning, I had a patient who said he was "exhaustipated." He said he's just too tired to give a crap.
I just told my husband, “I found the guy!” lol!
I remember trying so hard to be respectful and only speak to the wife. “Can I borrow your husband?”
All I remember for sure was that the boxes in the front were gone and there was no way I could reach beyond that. I had a choice: climb the shelves (which I’ve done many times before) or ask of help. There was this guy who was well over six foot and his little wife. (She was still taller than me.)
I was horribly embarrassed and didn’t want her to be offended that I’d take liberties with her husband, so I never spoke to him directly.
How messed up is that? “Give me your man.”
This morning I lent my son to a neighbor to kill a bug, so I guess I shouldn’t feel too bad! LOL!
One of the philosophies I live by is “What good am I if I cannot help someone in need?”
I have rapidly advancing Optical Rectalitus.... Gives me a shitty outlook on life also
My mother used to say, “When I woke up this morning, I had the same old aches and pains, so I figured I was still alive.”
Since I was diagnosed with Leukemia eight years ago and I'm about half way to my Doctor's original estimate of my expected demise, I find myself using that phrase more and more.
Even with Pharaoh Obama running the show, Old Age is still a preferred option to the alternative.
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