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Daughter Living With Boyfriend Doesn't Get Mother's Support [Dear Abby says shacking up is OK]
Dear Abby ^ | June 14, 2013 | Dear Abby

Posted on 06/15/2013 7:27:26 AM PDT by grundle

DEAR ABBY: I am 25, and my boyfriend and I have been together since high school. We have now decided to take our relationship to the next level by living together.

When I brought up the idea to my mother a few months ago, she was against it. She said if I do this it will change my relationship with her. My boyfriend and I are college graduates, have good jobs and are self-supporting. If things work out between us, we will most likely be getting married next year.

I am an only child and I don't want to hurt my mother or have our relationship change, but I want to be able to live my own life. I would like her support, but don't know how to tell her what we have decided or if it would be worth breaking the special bond between my mother and me. -- ONLY CHILD IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ONLY CHILD: Stop beating around the bush and tell your mother what your plans are. At 25, you are old enough -- and this relationship has gone on long enough -- that moving in together is a natural progression toward a permanent commitment. Her resistance is based on fear of what your independence from her will mean -- to her.

However, if you truly can't decide whether cutting the umbilical cord is worth it, then keep things as they are -- and remain her little girl forever.

(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...


TOPICS: Society
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To: grundle

If she and the boyfriend have been together since high school and don’t know yet if the relationship will work in the context of marriage, they will never know, and may as well move on. That said, this “only child” is an adult several years over-she can do as she damn well pleases...


21 posted on 06/15/2013 8:00:22 AM PDT by Texan5 ("You've got to saddle up your boys, you've got to draw a hard line"...)
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To: grundle

Maybe the “Dear Abby” schtick was real at first, but I just figured that the letters have been faked for decades.

Fake letters designed to push one social agenda or another. Kind of like how pols reach into their bag of tricks to read tear-jerker letters from brainwashed kids who are desperate for government programs.

People who actually write Dear Abby have way more issues than whatever they are whining about in the letters.

It’s like the adult version of writing letters to Santa. Wonder if the post office has its own incinerator for “Abby’s” mail. Or her supposed email addy is set for auto-delete.


22 posted on 06/15/2013 8:01:14 AM PDT by Ezekiel (The Obama-nation began with the Inauguration of Desolation.)
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To: silverkor

“Dear Abby”, pen name Abigail Van Buren, just died earlier this year. However, she had been suffering from Alzheimer’s for many years, and her daughter has been running that column under the Dear Abby name for years.


23 posted on 06/15/2013 8:02:27 AM PDT by Dilbert San Diego
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To: grundle

Living together is NOT a natural or normal progression, making one’s relationship permanent is.

The answer most likely reflects the views of the newspaper itself, like most of them — anti-American, anti-tradition, anti-family, etc.

Glad I finally canceled my subscription to the “hometown” paper that shoved these values down our throat every day. I don’t need to pay for what the paper, its writers or editors consider the “new normal” — that and read illegal alien sob stories on the front page every day (this is in Kalifornia).


24 posted on 06/15/2013 8:14:51 AM PDT by Bon of Babble (It was ME. I Let the Dogs Out.)
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To: Dilbert San Diego

Which is amusing in light of her put down in the last line of the reply, calling out the girl for not cutting the umbilical cord and remaining mothers little girl!


25 posted on 06/15/2013 8:19:05 AM PDT by Anima Mundi (Envy is just passive, lazy greed.)
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To: moviefan8
Her mom is still wrong. She needs to let her daughter go and let her be an adult.

Her daughter is an adult and is free to as she pleases, just as her mom is under no obligation to continue to feel respect towards her daughter.

26 posted on 06/15/2013 8:24:48 AM PDT by Jeff Chandler (Idiocracy is a documentary.)
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To: Westbrook

The “imposter” is her daughter who took over the column a number of years ago.


27 posted on 06/15/2013 8:35:22 AM PDT by Wiser now (Socialism does not eliminate poverty, it guarantees it.)
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To: grundle
I am 25, and my boyfriend and I have been together since high school.... If things work out between us, we will most likely be getting married next year.

Because 7-10 years ISN'T REALLY enough to time to get to know someone.

28 posted on 06/15/2013 8:38:40 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: Pontiac; Revolting cat!

Surprised that Ms. Abby didn’t just tell her to go out their and get her Sex in a City groove on. Monogamy is for squares. Smash the patriarchy, sista!


29 posted on 06/15/2013 8:40:15 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: count-your-change

Nothing in her letter suggests that her long time beau was her first sexual partner. Welcome to the new immorality.


30 posted on 06/15/2013 8:42:29 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: grundle

Bad, very bad advice. The Abby of my day would be horrified that her name was attached to this. No, the “next level” is getting legally married. A lifetime commitment and if it’s in the cards starting a family, a house with a two car garage, matching towel sets, life insurance and spousal health insurance and filing their taxes jointly. Her mom already knows they’re probably spending more nights together than apart so who is the party who is immature and not wanting the responsibility. Living together is nothing but a little girl playing house for who don’t want the commitment.


31 posted on 06/15/2013 8:46:05 AM PDT by bgill (This reply was mined before it was posted.)
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To: old and tired
100%
32 posted on 06/15/2013 8:49:47 AM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: grundle

The “new normal, natural progression of dating,” according to liberals: “hang out” together (for 5 years or longer), get the woman pregnant, move in together, guys leaves, woman goes on state assistance, woman meets new guy, repeat.


33 posted on 06/15/2013 8:50:52 AM PDT by Lou L (Health "insurance" is NOT the same as health "care")
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To: grundle

Abby has been a leftwinger for years.


34 posted on 06/15/2013 9:01:16 AM PDT by JSDude1 (Is John Boehner the Neville Chamberlain of American Politics?)
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To: grundle

The correct answer is to get married first and then live together until death do you part. This relationship is doomed.


35 posted on 06/15/2013 9:29:02 AM PDT by Sam Clements
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To: a fool in paradise

I’ve seen the new immorality coming to fruition over many years under the flag of tolerance, mind your own business, freedom, liberation , modernity, and any other self justifying term available.


36 posted on 06/15/2013 11:34:52 AM PDT by count-your-change (you don't have to be brilliant, not being stupid is enough)
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To: grundle

Dear Abby died years ago.

Now it is just a woman who writes to pander to left wing newspaper editors.


37 posted on 06/17/2013 11:05:20 AM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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