Posted on 07/01/2013 1:41:31 PM PDT by servo1969
Human beings have some odd sexual fetishes. My friend of over twenty-two years, Liz Lightspeed (no need to hide her identity – she’s very proud of, and public with, what she does) makes her money choking guys unconscious and being paid to pose with other women pretending to fight. Not entirely my thing, but hell, if there’s a market for it, knock yourselves out (literally).
I have a former lady-friend (of sorts) whose only work since we went our separate ways has been on a foot fetish website. I have another female friend whose fan base likes to see muscular women carrying things. And I have a current friend who was once paid to dress like a ninja and threaten a rich guy (hell, I’ll do that. Sign me up).
So many fetishes, and catering to them is a huge business. But this weekend has taught us one very important lesson – “Obama porn” doesn’t pay.
“White House Down” is pure, 100% Obama porn. It was written to appeal to those who want a romanticized version of the president they thought Obama would be. It’s porn for Obama supporters in the way that romance novels are porn for women. Just as the fans of those “sexy pirate kidnapper” novels want to be whisked away by handsome, romantic, tough-yet-caring pirates, “White House Down” was intended for those who want a dreamy two-hours in a movie theater being swept away by the Obama they want so badly to love (you know, the one who consistently fails to appear in real life).
The Obama character in “White House Down,” President Sawyer (portrayed by Jamie Foxx, who has admitted in interviews that the character is based on Obama) is the Obama “ideal.” He wants peace. Peace, peace, peace! He so badly wants peace that as soon as he came into office, he disbanded all drone attacks and other violent U.S. military activities on the Pakistan border, thus angering the evil white right-winger who leads the operation to seize the White House.
“President Sawyer” even put the evil drone-attackers in prison for daring to commit violence against Pakistanis.
“Sawyer” loves Abe Lincoln, and he’s a veritable encyclopedia of knowledge about American history. He has lofty thoughts, he cares about his countrymen, and he acts in the nation’s, and the world’s, best interest. What a guy!
But he can also be cute and loveable, as when the invasion of the White House forces him to fight bad guys. Oh, that cutie-pie. He doesn’t want to fight, and he’s adorably clumsy at it. But when called upon to save the world, dammit, he’ll fight!
And it is indeed the world he must save, as the core of the evil white right-wingers’ plot is a desire to sabotage an upcoming peace conference with Iran, by firing nukes at the peaceful, international-law-abiding nation of humble “religion of peace” followers.
At the end of the film, after the evil white guys have all been killed, there is concern that the sweetie-cake flower-children in Iran might fire their nukes in retaliation for us almost firing ours. But have no fear – we learn that the big-hearted Iranians agree to have world peace after all! Because when have Muslims ever done anything vengeful or retaliatory?
Sawyer/Obama has done it. He’s saved the world, with the help of the heroic Iranians.
Mother Jones declared that “White House Down” is “a harsh critique of the military industrial complex.” Indeed. And fetish porn for anyone wanting the Obama they loved in 2008 to live again, at least for two hours on-screen. From the Mother Jones review:
Not to spoil the entire movie, but Jamie Foxx, Channing Tatum, and the liberals win the day, and the hawkish, Fox News-adoring, reactionary killers wind up either in jail or ripped to shreds by explosives and ammunition. It’s typical Hollywood liberalism with gigantic firearms.
But there’s just one problem – the film has completely flopped. It came in a disastrous fourth place in its opening weekend, beaten by one new film (“The Heat,” the horrible film starring Sandra Bullock and that fat girl I’m supposed to recognize even though I have no idea where the hell she came from), and two week-old films (“World War Z” and “Monsters University”). The $150,000,000-budgeted “White House Down” took in just $25,000,000 its opening weekend. By contrast, “Olympus Has Fallen,” this year’s other “White House under attack” film (which featured North Korean terrorists as the villains), cost $70,000,000 to make, earned $30,500,000 its opening weekend, and has taken in over $160,000,000 in total…and that was without the benefit of being released during the summer movie season.
Memo to Sony – call my ex and get a foot fetish film in the works – you’ll have more success with it. Obama porn just doesn’t sell. Sure, Chris Matthews was probably there on opening night, pleasuring himself Pee-Wee Herman style in a near-empty theater, but that’s not enough, not nearly enough, to make the film turn a profit.
The Obama of “White House Down” has as much in common with the real president as the pirates in romance novels have with actual pirates. But how many of us are ever going to come into real-life contact with a diseased, AIDS-ridden, murderous, conscienceless Somali pirate? Whereas, by contrast, we have to live with Obama every day. We see the real thing far too often to buy into the fantasy. I’d accept Fabio as a “pirate with a heart of gold” before I’d accept “White House Down’s” version of Obama.
Apparently, based on the box office numbers, I’m not alone.
As an aside, I read a glowing review of the movie. Guess I know who the reviewer voted for, twice.
This is kind of crazy. Even the left admits Obama has expanded drone attacks way beyond what Bush ever did. And he seems to hate peace- he invades countries at the drop of a hat.
It’ll do well in the Middle East since according to Wikipedia, it concerns “The President” pulling out all US troops from the Middle East and ends “As a result of the events, the leaders of Russia, China, Israel, France and Iran agree to Sawyer’s peace treaty, allowing him to bring the peace he wanted.”
Oh gee, did they accidently let a real poll rear its ugly head?
Wadda ya mean Americans Hate Obama!?
Jamie Foxx is no Leni Riefenstahl...
But he’s trying hard.
Instead you got the Obama who looks through your texts and listens on the other phone when you get a call.
I wanted to see it because I heard that Foxx’s character buys it in spectacular fashion...then I heard that he survives to the end so no thanks!
Conceptually, maybe. Maybe that was the plan at the beginning.
But Jamie Foxx is too black to be any kind of Obama, and one would have to be pretty dim not to see that.
The underlying idea goes back before Obama, though, whether we're talking about idealized Black presidents in 24 or Harrison Ford fighting to get his plane back in Air Force One or Bill Pullman taking to the air in Independence Day.
The movie bombed. Apparently Jamie Foxx didn’t pray hard enough to his “lord and savior” Obama.
LOL! Spit my Powerade Zero out at that one! Then I got a mental image and threw up a little in my mouth...
I used to like Jamie Foxx. sigh.. Another actor I’ll refuse to support with my money.
OTOH , Foxx has more credibility than the real Zer0. And that ain’t much.
I used to like Jamie Foxx. sigh.. Another actor I’ll refuse to support with my money.
OTOH , Foxx has more credibility than the real Zer0. And that ain’t much.
Ka-pow!
My son asked me to take him to see this and, unfortunately, I did. The movie is a parody of liberal biases which, if not so over the top ridiculous, would have upset me. This movie is horrible and not smart enough to push the liberal stereotypes it seeks to do.
I hate to admit, but Wanda is one of my favorite characters. He did a great job with that-so funny. All down hill for him since.
It’ll do well in the Middle East since according to Wikipedia, it concerns “The President” pulling out all US troops from the Middle East and ends “As a result of the events, the leaders of Russia, China, Israel, France and Iran agree to Sawyer’s peace treaty, allowing him to bring the peace he wanted.”
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I was thinking it would do well in the Middle East because it shows the White House on fire and enemy Caucasians being killed. It’s off putting to imagine the wild applause, and possible firing of weapons skyward in theatres in some parts of the world when they see the initial explosions.
Thanks for the review. No one in my house will be seeing this. Ever.
I had no idea that was the premise ... I go to theatres to escape the heat and see action movies that don’t translate well to TV. So ... I saw WHD. It took about 15 minutes to see that they were going after the conservatives, but it could have been worse. The plot had so many holes however ... in the entire movie there were terrorists in front of and on top of the white house, and not a single sniper took one of them out. The most amusing part however was the presidential limo taking 10 MINUTES of abuse from a minigun (does it EVER run out of ammo), including hitting glass, and not penetrating.
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