Posted on 01/07/2014 2:52:32 PM PST by Slings and Arrows
Being a cat owner is full of surprises. Sometimes though, your cat will do something so outrageous, you wonder what's going on in his or her crazy little head. These are the funniest stories I found on the internet.
(Excerpt) Read more at distractify.com ...
Count your blessings, Hamster. It’s a miracle that girl kitty didn’t have you for lunch.
Or Richard Gere didn’t ask you out on a date.
“HE UGLEE, TOO!”
I am all too familiar with barf magnets. *sigh*
Do I like cats?
Yes I do!
Boiled, broiled, and in a stew
(Gahan Wilson, circa 1972 but substitute children for cats)
‘Cat! the other white meat’
Ah,hairballs,the sausagy-looking things with the sauce-like fluid that all too often accompanies them....
I laughed so hard my daughter disowned me. lol!
Gross! Glad I didn’t go to the link.
Oh yes, and that’s not the worst of it!
I try and be extra careful about things like that. And our one cat is awful, Nikita will eat anything, she likes word shards and nails especially.
We’ve been doing major renovation since we got flooded by Sandy, so for a long time there was cr*p all over the place (now there is just cr*p in few places). The cat would pick up nails, etc. nom them, and leave them in my laundry basket.
She is a wacky chick that cat.
“Never trust a hater of cats....
Irish proverb”
I like it.
These are a hoot. At my house, Catman ate the venetian blinds…..kiss the security deposit goodbye.
Years ago we had a cat named Smitty. Our daughter had a hamster. I forget his name. Smitty didn’t directly kill it but he harassed it in its cage and the hamster died. We buried it with this epitaph.... Smitty was his bane, Smitty was his sorrow, Smitty wants to dig him up for breakfast tomorrow.
“Smitty was his bane, Smitty was his sorrow, Smitty wants to dig him up for breakfast tomorrow.”
LOL
Target Practice!
“Do I like cats?
Yes I do!
Boiled, broiled, and in a stew
(Gahan Wilson, circa 1972 but substitute children for cats)
‘Cat! the other white meat’”
Dahmer? Is that you?
Catz are good for one thing only:
Target Practice!
__________________________
Dahmer...is that you?
Oh WOW, HERE WE GO WITH THE FARTGAS WHITE PAPERS ABOUT FOLKS WHO DON’T LIKE “WILD, FERAL KATZ.”
Yo, green weenie, in PA, I can kill a rampaging raccoon, I can kill a bear, a deer, a rabid skunk, and on and on, and NOT be considered, in your twisted mind, A KILLER.
Oh, but JEEZ DAMN LOUISE, let me kill a WILD, FERAL KAT, and I am the most despicable creature on God’s earth.
Hey, YO! STOOPID,
FERAL KATZ kill more protected wild life than even weasels or HUMANS.
They ARE NOT TIMMY’S LITTLE TABBY that curls up in front the fire place and purrrrrrszzzz when you rub his tummy.
They will tear your hand off if you get near them. They WILL KILL your precious little TABBY. At night, they mix it up with skunks, raccoons and possums. They carry ticks, fleas and RABBIES.
They tear up gardens, defaecate EVERYWHERE and spray NOXIOUS urine ALL OVER THE PLACE.
You dummies keep trying to equate them with DOMESTICATED cats. (Um, by the way, feral (wild katz KILL your precious kitty every chance they get. Tell me I’m wrong.)
Now, WHY should I treat them any different than a WILD DOG, COYOTE, OR FERAL PIG??
You katz lovers are beyond stupid.
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