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Why You Should Be Careful Of SunkenCiv's Photos
blueunicorn6 | 1/25/14 | blueunicorn6

Posted on 01/25/2014 4:18:17 PM PST by blueunicorn6

SunkenCiv always has the most beautiful photos of distant galaxies and comets and stuff. The other night, he posted this photo of a planet that was just stunning. I thought that maybe I should go outside and look at all the stars I was missing. I walked out the back door and started across the back yard looking up to see what was in the sky. This is kind of dangerous as I have four dogs and you should watch where you step in the back yard because if you don't you might step in dog crap and drag it into the house where your wife will scream at you like you just brought a grenade or something into the house. I was looking up at the night sky when I heard something in front of me. It was a mountain lion. Now, I don't know how big he was, but his fangs were about five feet long. I knew I was a goner. Then, I remembered that I had left the back door open and my four furry fighters were waiting in the house. I whistled for my dogs. They came charging out the back door like canine cavalry, barking and howling and scratching to get traction. They were halfway across the back yard when they saw the mountain lion. They put on the brakes and stopped like they had those fancy ceramic Porsche brakes that will stop you from 60mph in 106 feet. At least that's what John Davis says they'll do and he's been on Motorweek for a few years, so I figure he should know. The oldest dog looked at the mountain lion and then he looked at me and said, "We thought you had a squirrel or something. You got that big rascal all to yourself!" Back the dogs ran into the house leaving me to feel like Custer at the Little Big Horn watching Major Reno "charge" back up the hill. I even called the oldest dog a dirty chicken and he said he'd sooner try to lay an egg than fight a full-grown mountain lion. They made it inside and shut the door and stood there looking out the glass door. The mountain lion snarled and got my attention again. I remembered the old saying about music soothing the savage beast, so I started to serenade him. The only song I could think of was MUSKRAT LOVE by the Captain and Tennille. "Muskrat Suzie and Muskrat Sam do the jitterbug down in muskrat land...". Well, it turns out the mountain lion was a Rolling Stones fan and all I had done with my soft rock was tick him off. He crouched to pounce. I am not without my own defensive skills. I've had a few years of martial arts training. I got into mt tiger stance and prepared to do battle. The mountain lion looked at me....rolled over on his back.....and started laughing. I'd never seen a mountain lion laugh before. I'm pretty sure I've never seen any big cat laugh, but there he was, four paws up in the air laughing his head off. I know when to take advantage of a break, so I skedaddled to the back door. The chicken dogs had locked it. The little looked at me and said, " if you can hang in there another five seconds, I'll win the bet!" The flea bags were betting on how long I would last with the mountain lion. I made it to the back door of the garage while old Charlie The Lonesome Cougar was laughing himself silly. Oh, you should have seen my four loyal dogs when I walked up behind them. They were all looking at the floor and they were all real sorry about leaving me out there to fight a mountain lion by myself. I asked them who won the bet. They said my wife had come the closest. She had bet "The big chicken will drop to the ground in a dead faint". As punishment for the dogs, I sing MUSKRAT LOVE over and over again to them. They have sensitive ears so they can hear me from all over the house. They caught the mountain lion a week later in the garden department at Shopko. I guess he was looking for some gloves or something. My wife now must go out the back door before me at night. I may be a "big chicken" but I'll be the first chicken through that back door. Anyway, if you see a beautiful planet photo from SunkenCiv, just thank him and don't go outside at night to look.


TOPICS: Arts/Photography; Astronomy; Astronomy Picture of the Day; Humor; Music/Entertainment; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: mountainlion; muskratlove; paragraphs; sunkenciv
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1 posted on 01/25/2014 4:18:17 PM PST by blueunicorn6
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To: blueunicorn6

I had a cougar come after me once. Her name was Denise.


2 posted on 01/25/2014 4:20:44 PM PST by South40 (Liberalism is a Disease)
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To: blueunicorn6; SunkenCiv

Can I have some of whatever you are having?! :)


3 posted on 01/25/2014 4:21:48 PM PST by momtothree
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To: blueunicorn6

LOL. I might save that one to use in the liar’s contest next fall.


4 posted on 01/25/2014 4:22:03 PM PST by WVNan
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To: blueunicorn6

LOL — Good story.


5 posted on 01/25/2014 4:22:36 PM PST by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: blueunicorn6

I would have sung “If I had a nose full of nickels”...


6 posted on 01/25/2014 4:25:19 PM PST by null and void (We need to shake this snowglobe up.)
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To: blueunicorn6

I see it scared the paragraphs right out of you...


7 posted on 01/25/2014 4:26:05 PM PST by null and void (We need to shake this snowglobe up.)
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To: blueunicorn6

I think I need to watch out for all that text posted all crammed together.


8 posted on 01/25/2014 4:27:40 PM PST by dforest
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To: null and void

BTT


9 posted on 01/25/2014 4:27:52 PM PST by momtothree
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To: blueunicorn6

Fortunately, for me, I’ve never gotten the interest at looking at planets and stars. I guess this is another reason why.

The most I ever see when walking the dogs are deer and fox. Even my fat little dog is afraid of them.


10 posted on 01/25/2014 4:28:58 PM PST by beandog (All Aboard the Choo Choo Train to Crazy Town)
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To: blueunicorn6; SunkenCiv

Wow...that happened to you, too?

Just last night, I was walking the dawg and happened to look up into the night sky. Orion was walking HIS Dawgs too!

I’m Sirius..


11 posted on 01/25/2014 4:31:14 PM PST by left that other site
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To: null and void; blueunicorn6

Not my fault!
If it were, they would have been mugged by an uncommonly aggressive rabbit!


12 posted on 01/25/2014 4:31:38 PM PST by Darksheare (Try my coffee, first one's free..... Even robots will kill for it!)
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To: blueunicorn6

Funny tale but from the title, I thought you were dissing Sunken Civ!


13 posted on 01/25/2014 4:35:36 PM PST by Ciexyz
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To: blueunicorn6; SunkenCiv

You got me thinking, blueunicorn6. What if SunkenCiv actually INTENDS things like this to happen? I mean he posts such beautiful pictures and explanations of planets, starts etc... to lull us into walking outside. Pretty devious guy if you ask me! Sunky has some ‘splainin to do!!


14 posted on 01/25/2014 4:36:33 PM PST by momtothree
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To: null and void

Paragraphs are for MFAers and romance novelists. Real men shun the pretentisne.....pretenshunes.....overly fancy writing associated with using paragraphs. Besides, it’s meant to be read in one long stream.


15 posted on 01/25/2014 4:37:20 PM PST by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: blueunicorn6
the Captain and Tennille..

Are splitting the sheets...

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3114891/posts

16 posted on 01/25/2014 4:37:22 PM PST by TomServo
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To: left that other site

Hehe nice use of astronomical terms.

So much light pollution here, only see the major stars. My neighborhood was made in the 70s when they put giant street lights every 3 houses.

Most new neighborhoods have no street lights now.

And I notice them turning some off at 2am for a while and rotating some But still too much light pollution.

In yellowstone it’s another story. Never saw so many stars in my life as there!


17 posted on 01/25/2014 4:37:46 PM PST by bicyclerepair (TERM LIMITS TERM LIMITS TERM LIMITS)
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18 posted on 01/25/2014 4:37:51 PM PST by RedMDer (Happy with this, America? Make your voices heard. 2014 is just around the corner. ~ Sarah Palin)
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To: blueunicorn6

Lets see. You found out one of the pics in the Voynich manuscript was of the strongest and purest known strains of South American marijuana.

You deciphered the secret language, learned it’s whereabouts; gathered a few stalks, smoked it.

Then you saw SunkenCivs pictures on the exoplanets...

Cool story;)


19 posted on 01/25/2014 4:38:42 PM PST by Beowulf9
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To: blueunicorn6

Sorry, I couldn’t help myself...

SunkenCiv always has the most beautiful photos of distant galaxies and comets and stuff. The other night, he posted this photo of a planet that was just stunning.

I thought that maybe I should go outside and look at all the stars I was missing. I walked out the back door and started across the back yard looking up to see what was in the sky.

This is kind of dangerous as I have four dogs and you should watch where you step in the back yard because if you don’t you might step in dog crap and drag it into the house where your wife will scream at you like you just brought a grenade or something into the house.

I was looking up at the night sky when I heard something in front of me. It was a mountain lion. Now, I don’t know how big he was, but his fangs were about five feet long. I knew I was a goner. Then, I remembered that I had left the back door open and my four furry fighters were waiting in the house.

I whistled for my dogs. They came charging out the back door like canine cavalry, barking and howling and scratching to get traction. They were halfway across the back yard when they saw the mountain lion. They put on the brakes and stopped like they had those fancy ceramic Porsche brakes that will stop you from 60mph in 106 feet. At least that’s what John Davis says they’ll do and he’s been on Motorweek for a few years, so I figure he should know.

The oldest dog looked at the mountain lion and then he looked at me and said, “We thought you had a squirrel or something. You got that big rascal all to yourself!” Back the dogs ran into the house leaving me to feel like Custer at the Little Big Horn watching Major Reno “charge” back up the hill. I even called the oldest dog a dirty chicken and he said he’d sooner try to lay an egg than fight a full-grown mountain lion. They made it inside and shut the door and stood there looking out the glass door.

The mountain lion snarled and got my attention again. I remembered the old saying about music soothing the savage beast, so I started to serenade him. The only song I could think of was MUSKRAT LOVE by the Captain and Tennille. “Muskrat Suzie and Muskrat Sam do the jitterbug down in muskrat land...”.

Well, it turns out the mountain lion was a Rolling Stones fan and all I had done with my soft rock was tick him off. He crouched to pounce. I am not without my own defensive skills. I’ve had a few years of martial arts training. I got into my tiger stance and prepared to do battle. The mountain lion looked at me....rolled over on his back.....and started laughing. I’d never seen a mountain lion laugh before. I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen any big cat laugh, but there he was, four paws up in the air laughing his head off.

I know when to take advantage of a break, so I skedaddled to the back door. The chicken dogs had locked it. The little looked at me and said, “ if you can hang in there another five seconds, I’ll win the bet!” The flea bags were betting on how long I would last with the mountain lion. I made it to the back door of the garage while old Charlie The Lonesome Cougar was laughing himself silly.

Oh, you should have seen my four loyal dogs when I walked up behind them. They were all looking at the floor and they were all real sorry about leaving me out there to fight a mountain lion by myself. I asked them who won the bet. They said my wife had come the closest. She had bet “The big chicken will drop to the ground in a dead faint”.

As punishment for the dogs, I sing MUSKRAT LOVE over and over again to them. They have sensitive ears so they can hear me from all over the house. They caught the mountain lion a week later in the garden department at Shopko. I guess he was looking for some gloves or something.

My wife now must go out the back door before me at night. I may be a “big chicken” but I’ll be the first chicken through that back door. Anyway, if you see a beautiful planet photo from SunkenCiv, just thank him and don’t go outside at night to look.


20 posted on 01/25/2014 4:42:45 PM PST by Third Person
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To: blueunicorn6

You have a knack for spinning a yarn. I really enjoyed your story. It reminded me of one of my favorite outdoor writers named Pat McManus. I think he used to write humourous articles for outdoor life. He also has several humourous books.


21 posted on 01/25/2014 4:44:04 PM PST by ThomasSawyer (Democratic Underground: Proof that anyone can figure out how to use a computer.)
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To: blueunicorn6

Too cold to go outside at night here. Let the dogs out first next time and if they stay out you will be safe.


22 posted on 01/25/2014 4:50:21 PM PST by mountainlion (Live well for those that did not make it back.)
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To: blueunicorn6

ifyouweremoreattunedtoinnertruthyouwouldntbesuchainnertube


23 posted on 01/25/2014 4:52:13 PM PST by bigheadfred
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To: mountainlion

Oh sure... like any of us are going to listen to the mountainlion after what blueunicorn went through. Sheesh....


24 posted on 01/25/2014 4:52:54 PM PST by momtothree
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To: blueunicorn6

lolz


25 posted on 01/25/2014 4:53:34 PM PST by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans!)
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To: momtothree

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn, NEVER!!


26 posted on 01/25/2014 4:56:00 PM PST by mountainlion (Live well for those that did not make it back.)
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To: mountainlion

:)


27 posted on 01/25/2014 4:57:15 PM PST by momtothree
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To: blueunicorn6
Learn to use these: <p>
28 posted on 01/25/2014 5:00:10 PM PST by Gamecock (If you like your constitution, you can keep your constitution. Period. (M.S.))
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To: bicyclerepair

There is usually too much light pollution here too, but go 50 miles into the everglades and it’s wonderful!

I live in a very urban area, but for some reason, last night’s sky was really nice. The sky was a deep purple with fluffy scudding clouds, and a half mini-moon which gave a little glow to the edges of the clouds. And the stars peeked through and seemed very bright.

And it was COLD. That might have affected the atmospheric conditions and made the stars more brilliant.


29 posted on 01/25/2014 5:01:34 PM PST by left that other site
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To: Third Person

Thank you. Mrs. Frederickson, my sixth grade English teacher thanks you. I remember those tortured hours at the blackboard trying to diagram sentences. Jeanie could always do them properly. “This is a predicate nominative.” Oh, how I longed to know what a predicate nominative was. I’m sure that kept me out of Yale. That and my criminal record. And paragraphs! When should you start a new paragraph? A new thought? A new subject? A new car? I just threw that last one in. I blame my public school education. I blame bullying. I blame global warming. Jeanie turned out to be quite beautiful as well as knowing what a predicate nominative was. I’d like to tell you that Jeanie and I were married and lived happily ever after, but she married a lawyer. I guess he knew what a predicate nominative was. Me? I hold the record at Free Republic for being called a fool. Eh.....it’s a record.


30 posted on 01/25/2014 5:03:53 PM PST by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: blueunicorn6

Definitely post of the day likely month and an early contender for the year. Sitting in an airport laughing my ass off and people are looking at me strangely....but then that last part I guess isn’t so different


31 posted on 01/25/2014 5:05:03 PM PST by reed13k (For evil to triumph it is only necessary for good men to do nothings)
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To: Gamecock

Do you know that if you look at your post sideways, it looks like a face eating a sideways “d”.


32 posted on 01/25/2014 5:07:55 PM PST by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: Third Person; blueunicorn6

Thank you for the paragraph breaks. I was finally able to read the post, and now I’m glad I did. That is some very well done satire.


33 posted on 01/25/2014 5:08:32 PM PST by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: blueunicorn6
The only improvement I'd recommend would be getting rid of the periods - just one long run on sentence. Excellent, and funny stream of consciousness - thanks for posting.
34 posted on 01/25/2014 5:16:25 PM PST by El Cid (Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house...)
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To: mountainlion

You! You’re just trying to trick me into going back outside at night! Well, I’m ready for you now. I bought one of those surplus Vulcan Gatling gun vehicles. A hundred rounds of 20mm sweeping the back yard before I go out. The neighbors are a little upset, but they were mad about my howitzer and they eventually got used to it.


35 posted on 01/25/2014 5:17:22 PM PST by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: blueunicorn6; SunkenCiv; mikrofon; martin_fierro
I think there are TWO morals of the story:

1) Yes, be careful about SunkenCiv's photos, but also

2) Don't sing MUSKRAT LOVE to a mountain lion. Or to anyone else, for that matter. It will just piss them off. I mean, the Captain himself was singing MUSKRAT LOVE to Tennille the other day, and she turned around and filed for divorce!

36 posted on 01/25/2014 5:18:02 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (b6, that was one of the most creative posts I've seen here in a while and I mean that in a good way.)
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To: blueunicorn6

You’re just trying to trick me into going back outside at night!

With all that muzzle flash you will loose your night vision and miss the good stuff. The better viewing will be now while it is cold before the bears wake up and come around at night.


37 posted on 01/25/2014 5:21:53 PM PST by mountainlion (Live well for those that did not make it back.)
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To: blueunicorn6

Thanks for the hilarity, nearly cost me another cheap keyboard. I always liked that song Muskrat Love, especially the version by the band America. I once leg-wrestled a Hungarian cougar and those are the worst kind.


38 posted on 01/25/2014 5:22:32 PM PST by OftheOhio (never could dance but always could kata - Romeo company)
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To: blueunicorn6; SunkenCiv

39 posted on 01/25/2014 5:23:04 PM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: OftheOhio

“I once leg wrestled a Hungarian cougar”

That sounds like it could be a better story than mine.


40 posted on 01/25/2014 5:27:20 PM PST by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: blueunicorn6

LOLOLOLOL! Your story made my day!


41 posted on 01/25/2014 5:31:05 PM PST by afraidfortherepublic
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To: blueunicorn6

42 posted on 01/25/2014 5:32:40 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (b6, that was one of the most creative posts I've seen here in a while and I mean that in a good way.)
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To: TomServo

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3114891/posts


43 posted on 01/25/2014 5:35:59 PM PST by afraidfortherepublic
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To: martin_fierro

“Not a cool story, Bro. It has no aliens..”

What if SunkenCiv is really an alien?! He knows all about galaxies and no one has ever SEEN him, have they? Hmmmmmm........


44 posted on 01/25/2014 5:37:40 PM PST by momtothree
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To: blueunicorn6

Fool!


45 posted on 01/25/2014 5:50:25 PM PST by Third Person
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To: blueunicorn6
wait.....was it a PINK mountain lion?
46 posted on 01/25/2014 5:58:44 PM PST by ZinGirl (kids in college....can't afford a tagline right now)
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To: blueunicorn6; MinuteGal

Great writing! My hat’s off to you, if I had a hat on. Bravo, Bravo.


47 posted on 01/25/2014 6:03:47 PM PST by flaglady47 (Proud Conservative Republican)
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To: ZinGirl

Oh....that’s cute. Little ones are truly wonderful.


48 posted on 01/25/2014 6:09:15 PM PST by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: blueunicorn6
The only song I could think of was MUSKRAT LOVE by the Captain and Tennille.

Looking at SunkenCiv's photos will get you divorced?

-PJ

49 posted on 01/25/2014 6:11:58 PM PST by Political Junkie Too (If you are the Posterity of We the People, then you are a Natural Born Citizen.)
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To: blueunicorn6

Hahaha!! Nice! That was good!

(Keep posting the pics, Sunkenciv!)


50 posted on 01/25/2014 6:15:29 PM PST by Thorliveshere (Minnesota Survivor)
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