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Posted on 02/02/2014 9:56:49 PM PST by nickcarraway
Study by pro eating league reveals the secrets to devouring wings quickly and efficiently during the Super Bowl.
We now know why America is struggling to retain its dominance in the world: We are too slow at eating chicken wings.
Fortunately, just in time for the wing-eating bacchanal known as the Super Bowl, a new study shows that America can save 116 million hours in lost productivity — more than 4,800,000 days! — if we become more efficient at stripping meat from the appendages of birds.
“Imagine what America could do with those hours!” says George Shea, the chairman of Major League Eating, which oversees professional eating contests. It studied more than 100 gustatory gladiators over two years to determine that the typical consumer could save three minutes and 30 seconds for every dozen wings consumed.
And with Americans eating 28 billion chicken wings every year, well, do the math: Just a few bites here and there, and you’re talking about some real time.
“If we could effectively focus this time, we could resolve some of society's most elusive mysteries: the impact of climate change, the cause of bee colony collapse or even the surprise appeal of the açai berry,” says Shea.
Step two: Bite in, pulling meat with your bottom teeth first.
Bite in, pulling meat with your bottom teeth first.
But before we can solve the world’s problems, let’s review the findings: 1. The best way to eat the “drumstick” portion of the wing is the “typewriter” method.
2. The other popular technique — called “the meat umbrella” — is messy and actually takes longer.
3. The best way to eat the upper portion of the chicken wing is by “wishboning,” wherein the entire segment is inserted into the mouth and the bones are separated as the wing is pulled out. The teeth capture all the meat.
Step 3: Use your tongue and teeth to capture the meat.
4. “Bulletholing,” which calls for pushing the meat through the two bones and into your mouth, leaves behind too much flesh, requiring multiple, time-consuming passes. “These findings are seminal,” says longtime competitive eater “Crazy Legs” Conti. “I lost the Hooter’s finals because I ‘bulletholed’ instead of ‘wishboned.’ If I could only have that moment back ... ” A little does indeed mean a lot. According to the study, the average American takes just under 20 seconds to fully consume a chicken wing. But with the Major League Eating’s recommendations, the vast majority of wing meat can be hoovered down in just 21/2 seconds — saving roughly 3:30 per dozen. “Embracing just a few simple techniques could save America,” Shea says, quickly adding, “Vegans will see no benefit, alas.”
Wing man: Major League Eating Chairman George Shea commissioned, conducted, reviewed, published and promoted the new study. JAMES KEIVOM/NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
Wing man: Major League Eating Chairman George Shea commissioned, conducted, reviewed, published and promoted the new study.
Shea called the research study akin to the discovery of the Higgs boson, which long eluded physicists. “As a scientist, I’m not focused on the wing eating. I’m focused on the future of our nation,” he says. “So this kind of work is so gratifying.” Shea was reminded that he is not actually a scientist — and the margin of error in the study is plus or minus 14.7%. “Even within that margin of error, you’re still talking about close to 100 million lost hours,” Shea says. “And by the way, I do have a lab coat.” Competitive eater Crazy Legs Conti participated in a two-year study to determine the best, quickest way for the casual diner to eat chicken wings. The result? America is wasting more than 100 million hours. JAMES KEIVOM/NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
Competitive eater Crazy Legs Conti participated in a two-year study to determine the best, quickest way for the casual diner to eat chicken wings. The result? America is wasting more than 100 million hours.
STEP BY STEP, THE "CRAZY LEGS" CONTI WAY
Wing-eating legend “Crazy Legs” Conti, a 12-year professional eater, showed us how it’s done.
Use the “typewriter” method for the drum portion:
1. Firmly grasp the wing like an ear of corn with both hands.
2. Strip the meat with your bottom teeth first.
3. Spin the wing while separating the meat from the bone from left to right.
With the "wishbone" successfully executed, admire your handiwork.
Use the “wishbone” method for the two-bone portion:
1. Use both hands to grab each bone at the bottom.
2. Insert whole wing into mouth.
3. As you remove the wing from your mouth, pull apart the bones and use the tongue to hold back the meat.
Video at Site.
I like mine swimming in a sea of tabasco.
Lost me right there. My uppers are in the leather jacket pocket, right side.
Last time I heard my lowers, the catz were playing tooth hockey with them in the kitchen. They may be under the stove or the fridge.
I'm not moving either one anytime soon.
/johnny
Only boneless wings for me
Ain’t got time for all that
Franks red hot and butter
Wrong! Stand wing on end. Place three fingers around wing. Push down. Pick up wing and put meat in mouth. Fastest way.
I’m nearly done with a quart can of Japanese beer and I want something to eat.
“Ain’t noone got time for that!”
ooh baby baby!
LOL
For me it would depend on when the bone was removed.
Removing bones before cooking diminishes the flavor.
yah ok, so I eat my wings quicker, that just means I use those three minutes to eat some Fritos.
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