Posted on 03/07/2014 1:32:31 PM PST by Drango
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there," as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish . On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? "
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull.
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs .
"Your badge. Show him your BADGE!"
A Goldie-oldie and just as funny as ever! Thanks
In real life the DEA thug would shoot the bull and the rancher.
Other version: Rancher says, “only if you can run across that field in 8 seconds, ‘cause the bull can do it in 9.”
Yes, but probably only after shooting the rancher’s dog.
Don’t know why but, that’s still funny.
No, in real life, most bulls you have to walk up and kick em before they will do ANYTHING?
If a teenager didn't have his pistol because he accidentally leave it in the men's room.
This is Texas. The rancher would have shot the DEA ahole and fed his body to the bull.
“In real life the DEA thug would shoot the bull and the rancher.”
Yep. I came close to getting shot. I answered the door dressed in formal shirt and tie and I’m convinced that’s why he didn’t finish the draw. He relaxed instantly. The officer had been told a lie by a neighbor who was stalking me and had his gun partially drawn. The neighbor had said I was stalking around looking in his “little children’s” windows. (It was still daylight and he didn’t have any little children. “Little children” at risk is the statutory language required for a restraining order, which would require me to surrender my guns.) I invited the officer in and showed him my alarm system video tape that proved not only hadn’t I left the house since getting home from work, but that my neighbor had been hanging around in front for over an hour before the officer arrived. I wanted my neighbor arrested for filing a false complaint. The cop said “I can’t do that.” I handed him a copy of the law saying he could (supplied by my lawyer.) He said, “Oh, we don’t enforce that law.”
But the point was, he might have shot me based on a false complaint. I finally moved 40 miles away and the neighbor continued to visit me for 18 months. That is why I conceal carry 24/7.
Cops are dangerous. Plain and simple. They are not there to protect us and have no legal requirement to come to our aid. You can be dying, scream for help and they can go get donuts. Nothing will happen to them for it.
Worst thing you can ever do is call the cops where a family member is involved.
A much older story concerns a British gent who came to Texas in the 1850’s to have a look around at this newly settled (by white people) land.
Spiffed up in typial British fashion and driving a very nice buggy with a fine horse, he proceeded into the countryside outside Ft. Worth, until he came upon a rancher standing in a mud bog next to a small corral.
Taking the rancher to be an underling, he drew up to a stop in the nearest dry area and called out, “Good day sir, pray tell me, who is your Master?”
The rancher slowly looked up at the gentleman, took time to spit into the mud, and replied, “That sumbitch ain’t been born yet.”
Absolutely correct. Wouldn't run one step.
I like.
And then the rancher caps the DEA dude and feeds his carcass to the hogs. Win-win . . . except for the bull.
So is Waco.
The cattle went right past me and mowed Tom down. Mad as hell, he picked himself up and said "Jimmy, you don't a G*ddamn thing about cattle, do you?" Steve grinned hugely and said "Well now he's not the one on the ground, is he Tom?" We all broke up laughing then. You took what the Lord gave you out there.
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