Sunday Stories: “99 Red Balloons” [aka life as a car salesman]

Frankly I think it is a pack of lies from a disgruntled loser.

YEAH, PUSH THEM INTO 25% APR!!

No dealership will survive legally if 1/10 of what this supposed “insider” blog says.

I know there is a lot of push-push-push but even an elementary school child can think to come back the day after a “free car for the right key” promotion to ensure the car was given away.

If dealers are that clueless about the law and how to sell, then we would all be driving Fords.

Great story! I hit bottom in the early 90s and got a job selling cars. I sold a car the first week and quit. It was a T&C van. I’m serious.

I may have posted this before. If any of you have heard it, sorry. A friend of mine named Ray told me about the time in the early 80s, during his drinking days, that he was broke and on foot. He said he walked by a used car lot and noticed a nice red Ford pick-up truck. The sign said “Owner Financing”. He went into the office and told the only salesman there that he wanted to test drive it. The salesman was also the owner. Ray drove the truck then they went back into the office and sat down. “I’m interested in owner financing. Can we work something out?” Ray asked?

Ray said when the man told him “I need to call some of your credit references”, he knew it was all over. “But,” he thought, “why not take a shot.”

The owner called a few numbers Ray had given him. After finishing the second call he hung up the phone and said “Fellow, you oughta’ be able to pay cash for that truck. You ain’t never paid for anything else.?

I did a few months stint working on a used car lot for a friend of mine who had been one of the top salesmen at several of the local dealerships for years. He opened a small used car lot and I went to work for him.

One of the first things he told me to remember was “buyers are liars”. Explained about the “be back bus” as in “we’ll be back”. Then pointed out that one of the first lies out of the buyer’s mouth would be “this is the first place we’ve looked at”. Amazing how he predicted exactly how my first customers acted. LOL

He also told me that I could bodily throw anyone off the lot that I wanted to and he’d back me up. Said he’d done that at one lot. Almost felt like doing it many times.

Then there was the classic “Yeah but I can get it for X$ down at *dealer name*”. He gave me the response and I used it once. “Hey, go ahead and buy one for me too at that price”. Then I turned and walked away. The “customer” called after me, “Don’t you want to sell it?” I turned and said, “Yeah, but not to you” and walked off.

Believe me, as bad as people think car salesmen are - and there are definitely some that are totally sleazebags - the buyers are worse. I found out quickly that a lot of it is just a defensive reaction to the “buyers are liars” that they end up with every day, all day.

Reminds me of a story about an old codger who owned a small lumber company. A guy came in and asked him how much he was charging for 2X4 studs. The old man said “89 cents each.”

The customer said “The lumber company down the street has them for 69 cents.”

The old man said “Then I’d go buy a truck load of them if I was you.”

“They’re out of them.” replied the customer.

The old man said “Hell, I can give ‘em away when I’m out of ‘em.”

Frankly I think it is a pack of lies from a disgruntled loser.

Actually this is pretty much how a basic car dealership works. The sales reps learn the "four-square" approach and quickly determine what motivates this particular buyer. In most cases, it's the monthly payment as that is what most naive buyers focus on (and many buyers are naive). So if you fall into the trap of saying you want to pay no more than $400 a month, you WILL pay $400 a month and the other numbers (down payment, trade-in, car price) will be manipulated to get to that monthly payment. Only you might be making that monthly payment for 60 months instead of 48 if you had only negotiated a better deal.

You also have the manager "in the tower" making the real decisions. The rep on the floor is just playing a classic "good cop/bad cop" scenario. The old "Well we've never done anything like this before so I'll have to run this by my manager" routine is played out over and over again every single day.

Towards the end of the deal, the sale rep is sure to mention how he's "getting killed" on this deal because you, the customer, "really drove a hard bargain." Sadly, that is partly true because the rep on the floor will be lucky to make $300 commission on a $20,000 car sale.

It's a nasty business but a great experience for a young buck who wants to get a crash course in the wonderful world of sales before moving on to something more lucrative. If you are over 30 and still selling cars, well I feel your pain.

By the way, some of the buyers are no picnic either. Many of them strut in there thinking they are going to "wheel and deal" because they looked at a few internet sites. These types can be insufferable to deal with. They always think they know everything and that you (the rep) are trying to pull a fast on on them. They end up making ridiculous claims about what they feel the price should be.

In those cases, I like the comeback line mentioned earlier in which a sales rep told a customer "If you can get it at that price down the street, go ahead and buy one for me too while you're over there."

>>Actually this is pretty much how a basic car dealership works. <<

I stand corrected then. It is one thing to read an article by a 3rd person with whom I have no connection. But you are well-known as a straight shooter so I will reread the article with a different perspective.

I certainly can see how doing this would teach tons of lessons on life, career and people. I owned my own business in my 20s and man, did I learn quickly!

Thanks!

I understand being dubious about that story. I've been in the sales/service business (several different industries) for 30 years and car sales is a tough racket to break into. I should also mention (lest you think it's all bad) that if you are able to stick it out a few years, you can do quite well at it. Especially once you start getting repeat business from customers you sold to four or five years ago. Buying a car just isn't a pleasant experience for most people so if they have a sales rep they feel they can trust, they will tend to go back to that person for their next purchase. The key to this is to keep in touch with those customers by checking in on them periodically so they know you are still around as turnover is high in this business - about 80% of sales reps don't make it past the first year.

I'm on the service management side of the fence now but when I was on the sales side, I learned quite a bit about people, how to satisfy and retain customers, and most of all, developed a very thick skin!

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