Skip to comments.North Carolina man will spend all of eternity in a Duke's Mayonnaise jar
Posted on 04/04/2014 5:47:49 PM PDT by JoeProBono
BESSEMER CITY, N.C., A North Carolina man who never says hold the mayo will be held for all eternity in a Dukes Mayonnaise jar when he dies.
Larry Clinton of Bessemer City has been searching for a suitable resting place for his cremated remains for over 20 years.
Thanks to his daughter, the 67-year-old now has a custom-made Duke's jar that has a label bearing his name.
Clintons daughter, Teresa Clinton-Edge, sent a letter the parent company of Dukes to request a jar for her fathers remains.
She sent a very nice letter saying her father had always loved Dukes Mayo and included a funny story about her father being at a funeral and telling his wife Id like to get buried in a jar, C.F. Sauer executive vice president Mark Sauer told ABC News.
To Clinton-Edges surprise, the company was happy to oblige.
They were custom all the way, said Sauer. We took the basis of the label and with the swirl on the bottom and put his name in there. His daughter said he was just delighted. I know it sounds -- well I dont know how it sounds -- but you almost have to do this. Its somebodys last wish so it takes a couple of days and a few bucks from us.
Clinton is happy to have the jar -- but hes hoping he wont have to use it anytime soon.
My father eats Dukes Mayonnaise on everything: peaches, pears, baloney sandwiches, banana sandwiches, Clinton-Edge said. He says he cannot remember a time that Dukes wasnt a part of his family and the food. Im 43 and thats the only mayo weve ever eaten.
This is what happens when a society is a smoothly functioning machine. When government is competent and responsible and all the little girls and boys are happy, there is really nothing else to write about except mayonnaise.
MIRACLE Whip beats the LL’s out of Hellmann’s
Yes. Thank Alluh we have such wonderful political leadership !
A Mayonaise jar? Heck, My Father’s ashes are in
a Craftsman toolbox.Really! The container fit perfectly.
I’ve never heard of it.
With all that mayo, is he dying of heart disease?
Miracle Whip sucks eggs.
I had to look that up. Cool story.
My mom and dad are in fancy coffins in concrete vaults underground.
I kinda like your dad’s choice.
Well, he has one corporate sponsor for his death. Maybe Piedmont Natural Gas will be the sponsor for the cremation.
Then this wife can do like a eulogy like a NASCAR winner after a race:
“It was tough time but I wanna thank Dukes for their outstanding jar support; we couldn’t have done it without Piedmont Natural Gas. And those Goodyear radials really made us fee safe driving over here”.
Hellmann’s, baby, Hellmann’s.
Miracle whip is just nasty.
My favorite is Best Foods or Hellman’s but Duke’s is pretty close.
I keep both at all times. Each has a specific purpose and I use 1 part each for one of my potato salad recipes.
My mom always used just Miracle Whip and it does have more of a tangy sweet taste.
But I searched for years for this certain tuna salad recipe and found the secret (to me) ingredient was Hellman's. That's my fav; for special put on big flaky, fluffy croissants (the store sells them; I would not want to mess with making them).
Gay Couple Frees Coyote From Giant Mayonnaise Jar
Best Foods and Hellmann’s are the same thing. It’s known as Best “west of the Rockies” (according to the Hellmann’s label).
Here's the recipe: Dump some brand X mayo into a bowl. Add a cup of sugar. Stir til sickening.
Mayonnaise in general, is just nasty. Gimme horseradish any day.
“MIRACLE Whip beats the LLs out of Hellmanns”
Miracle Whip has a lot more seasonings than any mayonnaise. It brightens up so many foods.
Miracle Whip isn't "sandwich spread", it's "salad dressing". It's all a matter of "standards of identity", as governed by the FDA.
"Mayonnaise" has over 50% oil content by weight, "salad dressing" less than 50%. Otherwise the ingredients are pretty much identical, with starch making up the difference.
Believe it or not Walmart Great Value-brand real mayonnaise is my favorite. Try it. It’s great! And it’s cheaper than the rest.
Isn’t horseradish sauce merely mayonnaise with a dash of horseradish?
certs is a candy mint
I wonder if he died at The Mayo Clinic?
Shirley, you are not trying to change my mind with facts?
Am I the only one that thought this thread was about Mike Nifong?
Grandpa told this decades ago.
Two gay guys go to a funeral home. They tell the funeral director “when we die, we want to be buried in the same coffin.” The director said “I’m sorry but I can’t do it State and federal regulations prohibit that.” One of the queers asked “well then can we be buried in coffins touching each other.” They were again told no, caskets have to be buried at least two feet apart by law. The second gay guy asked “then can we at least be cremated and have our ashes put in the same urn.” The director said “yes, but in your case I’d use a fruit jar.”
I want my ashes in an Arabica beans coffee can.
A: The eye of a frog, the wing of a fly and the throat of a lizard. Q: Name the only three things you can afford to eat nowadays.
All mayo is garbage now.
It all has Canola oil in it.
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