(POOP you never let us down!)
Posted on 04/24/2014 9:29:22 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows
(POOP you never let us down!)
An older guy was telling me one time about how faithful a companion a dog is.
He said: “Try this sometime. Lock your dog in the trunk of your car for a day, lock your wife in a closet for a day, then let me know which one licks you when you let them out..”
Oddly, I found myself wondering if he’d actually tried it himself!
Define “lick.”
I've wondered if he was that clever myself. He probably was. It was years ago. I think more highly of old farts now that I am one..
It tastes better than your cooking?
This is how dogs view a litter box.
You’re right. My bad. But isn’t it Bush’s fault that Bundy is killing desert tortoises with his cattle?
No, no, no.
The Desert Tortoises are dying from grief because queers can’t get married in all 57 States.
My dog loves cat poop too but he knows enough to stay away from the litterbox. My only consolation is he gets wormed regularly so the vet says not to worry.
I remember a “Law and order” episode where the murder weapon was stashed into a doggie bag along with the day’s “deposit”. The cops talked to the perp, and didn’t look in the bag because it was filled with poop! :-)
So, the perp with the puppy poop persuaded the police that he was perfectly pure.
Homos would say “because it’s natural”.
I have heard that dogs eat poop because it has undigested food in it. I would guess cat poop has more “left over” food that other poop.
Take to vet. May have worms.
Why do dogs roll in smelly things?
1) Dogs have an acute sense of smell
2) Dogs are hunters
3) When hunting they know they need to smell like anything but a dog
Just like a human deer hunter would never spray themselves with AXE spray before going out
Why Some Men Have a Dog And No Wife:
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog’s parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk..
7. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
8. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
9. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
10. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
11. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.
And last, but not least:
12. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.
To test this theory:
Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour.
Then open it and see who’s happy to see you.
And to add:
Cats are libertarians.
Kittens are radical anarchists.
If your dad had lost it, the pooch probably would have been happy to clean it up for him.
I grew up in the country, and my dad usually had a few cattle on the property. Our dogs loved fresh cattle manure.
Also, a dog won’t get upset if you say his mother is a bitch.
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